We Amore Singapore!

What a wonderful weekend. A stupendously spontaneous vacation. It was as good as (and quite possibly even better) than our trip to Bangkok. We truly left our hearts in Singapore.

Singapore really is a great city. It's clean. It's modern. They put a premium on aesthetics; with tree lined streets, wide boulevards, and oh-so pedestrian friendly. Singapore is basically one giant interconnected mall ... and you could conceivably walk the entire city underground from mall to mall to mall. If you didn't like the Gucci, Dolce & Gabanna and Louis Vuitton on one corner, you could go across to the street to the Hermes, Prada, or Cartier on the other. It was the Starbuck-ification of high end shops. The people were friendly and hospitable, well dressed and well groomed ... truly the antithesis of Chennai. Even the pigeons were even banned due to potential pooping. Best of all, the silence was deafening. I've never been in a metropolitan city of 4.5 million people where you couldn't hear a peep. No horns. No sirens. No phlegm.

The only drawback was that it was exorbitantly expensive. Our meal at California Pizza Kitchen was $75... must have been the top shelf tequila in our Chicken Tequila Fettuccine. And dining out at TGI Friday's? Don't...even...ask...

But it was worth it. So very, very worth it. The girls loved the zoo (more specifically, the water park they played in for close to 2 hours). They squealed with delight on the Singapore Flyer, the world's largest giant observation wheel. They were in heaven riding the subway. Taxis were a blast too ... especially when you could just hop in, and didn't need a car seat. And Starbucks chocolate swirl cake totally justifies the schlepping around in the unbelievable heat and humidity.

There was no vomit this trip. Very few meltdowns. Only one bed wetting accident (sorry rollaway bed). And only one case of pinworms. That we dealt with yesterday at the Apollo Children's hospital back here in Chennai. There's always something...

Our next vacation? Twenty-four days and counting!

A Destination Birthday!

On Friday, February 12th, my beautiful daughter Riley celebrated her 7th birthday. All she wanted was a birthday cake in her classroom and a sleepover party. So I talked to her teacher and picked the time for her party, and I spoke to a few of her girlfriend's parents to set up the date for the sleepover. However, things always seem to change here at Casa de Perlman.

We did get to have cake in her classroom, with year's design in the shape of an iPod (her latest craze). And we did get to take her to Sparky's Diner for dinner with her friend Carter. But her sleepover had to be postponed...

Because after we went to dinner, we jetted off to Singapore for the weekend!

Last Sunday Matt decided we needed to make up for our Sri Lanka trip and get out of dodge for another weekend. In less than 30 minutes, we looked online, found some inexpensive tickets, booked our hotel, and scheduled our trip. It was so last minute, so spontaneous, so fun to plan!

Here we are yesterday ... having a Starbucks, and enjoying the mall just across the street from our hotel.

Then it was off to lunch... at California Pizza Kitchen. We sat OUTSIDE almost 2 hours eating and enjoying the view. Woo Hoo!!

And then off to the Night Safari ... where we had a great time watching the fire eaters, taking a tram ride around the park, observing various nocturnal animals from all over the world, and ending with a Creatures of the Night show that had us laughing until 10:30 pm! And oh yes, we can't forget about the nightcap at Ben and Jerry's.

We're thoroughly enjoying our time here in Singapore. Today we spent the entire day at the Singapore Zoo followed by dinner at TGI Friday's, and tomorrow we're off to the Singapore Flyer, and other Western trappings of civilization before flying back to Chennai.

More photos and details to come in our next update... Stay tuned!

The Post Where I Remind You That This Is MY Blog

Last August I wrote a very difficult post about my internal struggles of being open and honest about our life overseas, and dealing with the potential backlash of said honesty. Remember that? Click here if you didn't get a chance to read it. I'll wait.

I didn't think I'd need to address this again, yet it has come to my attention that there are a lot more people here in India who read this than I had known. Regardless, it STILL doesn't change the tone nor the content of what I write. This is MY blog. These are MY feelings. It is MY commentary and MY editorializing.

The ideas expressed in this online journal in no way, shape, or form represent those of the U.S. Government, AISC, or any other person or organization either known to me or not. Yes, I am an American Diplomat. Yes, I am on the AISC school board. But, I am writing as a mother to two daughters and a son, as a wife of a federal employee, as a dog owner, as an expat living in India. I don't sugarcoat life here. I don't hide behind my words. And I don't write about any privileged information I have with either the U.S. Consulate or with the AISC school board. Period.

I make NO apologies for my thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I stand up for what I believe in. I speak my mind. I talk the truth. While I wished more parents would assert themselves and speak up when they notice something isn't right, I don't mind being a squeaky wheel. In fact, I don't mind being the only squeaky wheel. I will always challenge, and will not tolerate complacency. It's what makes me, me.

And that's why y'all keep coming back to read The Perlman Update.

AISC Sports Day

Today was AISC's annual Sports Day for the kids in kindergarten thru second grade. From 9 am - 12 pm the kids participated in 15 different activities ranging from relay races to balloon popping, obstacle courses to tug of war. Each grade was given a different colored t-shirt, the kids were all lathered in sunblock, and then everyone let loose to frolic and sweat in the warm winter sun!

I spent the entire three hours rushing all over the soccer field attempting to split my time between both Riley and Sheridan's classes. Um... didn't exactly happen. But I did manage to take 200 or so photos and 10 videos of them laughing, playing, running, competing, and having a great time.

Here are a few snapshots of their day...

Here's Looking At You Kid

A few weeks ago I was in the girl's locker room with Riley and her friends after swimming practice helping them change. The girls were giggling loudly, recalling the projects they did that day in class, when all of the sudden, I got a funny feeling that we were being stared at. Sure enough, I looked over and the bathroom attendant was watching us. Like it was no big deal. For those of you not familiar with this practice, bathroom attendants are quite common in India. They spend their whole day in the restroom, supposedly cleaning, and in the school's case, safeguarding the kids personal property. However, I don't enjoy the gawking, so I stared back long enough for her to avert her eyes. But she didn't move. Or flinch when we left. I made a mental note to talk to the administration.

Then, early last week, a friend of mine stopped me outside the bathroom and complained she found the same woman, along with another cleaning lady, sleeping. My first response was, "again?" I thought by now that so many people would have complained about her sleeping the administration would have taken charge and nipped it in the bud. But sleeping isn't a terminable offense here, and every where you go you see people sleeping on the job.

On Monday I came unglued. Seriously ... wicked ... upset. My daughter complained to me that two bathroom attendants in the girl's locker room were staring at her and her friends while they were changing after ballet. There were no other adults in the locker room at the time. She told me she didn't like it. Neither did I.

Without hesitation, I high tailed my tush to the head of the maintenance department to demand this woman be removed. On my way I ran into a girlfriend, who mentioned that this same attendant had been caught in the past with photos of school girls on her camera phone, and that when confronted, admitted she took them, deleted them, and agreed to leave her phone at the security desk during her work day. Hearing this, sent me over the edge. I had been in the locker room myself earlier that day, and I saw her with her phone in her hand.

I'm sure you can picture me at this point, with my sharply furrowed brows and tightly pursed lips, talking to the management in a loud, sharp-edged voice. I was relentless. I was not about to walk away until I was assured that she would be removed immediately. We don't need this type of inappropriate behavior from the staff at our highly accredited school. Within minutes of hearing what happened, I was guaranteed that this situation would be dealt with immediately, that it would be taken care of by the end of the day.

Imagine my surprise when I came to school yesterday and she was still there. Seriously still there. Not fired. Not removed. On our campus. I had trouble picking my jaw up off the floor. I won't bother to tell you the excuses I was given, for they no longer matter. When I got home yesterday, I immediately sent an e-mail to the Head of School, and by this morning the woman was no longer there. I checked. Several times.

It's been an emotional few days... I'm glad it's over. The tension was slightly overwhelming. In the end, I, and everyone else who I told, agreed that we don't take chances when it comes to our kids. While I'd like to believe she didn't mean any harm, there was no need for her constant presence in the locker room. Crisis averted... for now.

My Latest Creation

I'm finally sewing again. I have inspiration. I have the materials. I have the time.

I deconstructed my sewing room when my parents came for their visit in late December, and never put it back together after they left. Until last week.

I made this dress as a birthday gift for my girlfriend's daughter. It's a favorite design of my girls ... I've made them each one of their own.

Of course, now that they've seen this, they both want another one... in blue. I think I can oblige.

Trip To The Zoo

Last Saturday we took the kids to the Arignar Anna Zoological Park (aka "the zoo") in Vandalur, about an hour from our house. We went with a small Consulate contingent, and met up with everyone at the entrance just after the zoo opened. The Park was HUGE, far larger than I had anticipated. However, they didn't have any printed maps to show us where to go, rather we were stuck relying on the faded and outdated directories sporadically scattered throughout the park. And of course, there were no "You Are Here" symbols on these directories to show us where in the world we may be. Go figure.

The zoo was actually quite clean, and had a wide variety of animals. Although at times I questioned what was really on exhibit... us or the wildlife. We definitely got more attention than they did!

I got a chuckle out of many of the signs posted around the park. My particular favorite is the evolution of man... from "Chaka" (Land of the Lost) to a bleached-0ut Bollywood actor from the 70's. Clearly no "man-scaping" there. Anyway...

The kids had a great time riding on the elephant, seeing the white tigers, laughing at the all the different species of monkeys, and enjoying the day with their friends.

Here are some of the photos from the day...

It's Been An India Week ... Literally

not figuratively... as last week was India Week at the girls school.

They had a bevy of activities lasting the entire week ... Kathak dancing, a puppet show, Sitar music, and two elementary assemblies, yoga, Bollywood dancing, mehindi, and an Indian lunch.

Here are the girls at their respective assemblies...

Sheridan ... and her KG class

Riley ... the paparazzi parents during the 1st grade performance ...
my girlfriend Kristin (aka Carter's mom) holding Grady

India Week followed the school's annual Welcome Back Picnic and Charity Fair, which was held the previous Saturday, January 30th. It was a day filled with games, prizes, food, and music.

Here they are posing for a few photos with their friend Carter, who spent the day hanging with us, while his folks prepared for his older sister's birthday party.

75 Minutes of WOW!

Actually it was more like 52 minutes, but besides me, who was counting?

We took the girls to see a live show tonight by the Extra Terrestrials, a traveling European acrobatic and entertainment troupe performing in Chennai over the last few days. As their website boasted, these fearless entertainers provided "a 75-minute action packed show that set your heart pounding and your adrenaline racing, with some of the most mind-blowing action, performances, and visual treats the city has ever seen!"

Actually the only one whose heart raced and adrenaline pumped was Sheridan's, as she was petrified of the initial performance by "Hans and Franz", the Hung-arian, gold painted, hand balancing duo, wearing nothing but matching gold thongs and a smile.

The lack of attire seemed to be a theme of the evening, as each artist came out in a more revealing, form fitting, and flamboyant outfit. In addition to the plum smuggling, the stage was abuzz with a montage of different acts ranging from acrobatic gymnasts, unicyclist, hula hoop spinner, illusionist and topped off with a laser light show.

The Extra Terrestrials were advertised on the radio for the past two weeks promising the "Wow-Factor". Being the cynical one, I actually did time the show to see if I got my full Rs 750 worth of "wow". With the first seven minutes of the show devoted to sponsor advertisements, coupled with the two minute introduction to each performance, and minute of awkward silences created when the music abruptly ended following each act, I'd say that the show was probably no longer than 50'ish minutes.

Did I get my money's worth? While it certainly wasn't The Flying Wallendas, Ringling Brothers, or even Cirque de Soleil, it was entertaining. And I did catch myself uttering a "wow" or two during the show. Maybe even three. But who's counting.

I Have a Love/Hate Relationship With My Household Staff

Wow, that sounds pretentious. But, I live in Chennai. In a third world country. So I'm giving myself a pass on that one.

I've talked in the past about how important it is to find good help here in Chennai. After living here for over a year and a half, I can't emphasize enough how crucial it is to mesh with the maid, dig the driver, and groove with the gardener, as they're at your house every...single...day...

As someone who really enjoys her privacy, having people in my house and around my yard all day long is really disconcerting. Sure, I love having a clean kitchen, sparkling clean toilets, and shiny floors, but it all comes with a price. My solitude. Forget sitting around in my pj's. Don't even think about running downstairs to grab something from the dryer in just a towel. Walking around with a tank top and no bra? Not kosher! And honestly, I don't even feel comfortable just vegging on the couch watching TV while they're here. Crazy, I know, but I still can't do it.

I've been very blessed with my latest housemaid. If you remember, I had a heck of a time finding the right person who could multi-task, understand English, communicate, and who I could stand being with in my house for nine long hours every ... single ... day. But I found her. And after seven months, I still like her as much as I did the day I hired her. She's a sweet girl who thankfully isn't from here. She's from Delhi. And while it doesn't seem like it's that big of a difference, let me assure you that it is. She's seen a "real" city. She's been to "real" grocery stores. She's experienced other cultures. She gets it. She's also a wonderful care-giver to Grady, she loves babysitting the girls, she's a fantastic cook, and her cleaning is above average. I'd even go so far as to say it's better than "Chennice."

Now my driver? My head hurts from banging it against the wall. I don't even know where to begin. What sounds like a luxury with having a driver, is initially a necessity. The streets are a free for all. Parking is virtually non-existent. There are yellow pages, but many business don't go by the names in the book, nor could they give a Westerner directions, even if they spoke English! There's no zoning. No business district. Unless you know where to go, you really don't know how to get there. Streets have three different names, not that you'd even know because there are no street signs.

To complicate things even further, if you completely rely on your driver because you don't have your Tamil Nadu driver's license and you're too afraid to drive, then when he's late, you're late. Or worse, if he doesn't show up, you're stranded.

After getting stranded myself a few times, I learned to drive. At first, it scared the daylights out of me. I was tentative. It was awkward driving on the left side of the road with the steering wheel on the right. I wasn't comfortable driving with the same reckless abandon as the locals. I wasn't confident. I drove every Sunday when the traffic was less. Then I tried on Saturdays. I went out on the weekdays, and even began driving at night. Slowly but surely I became skilled enough not only with my driving, but also with my directions. So much so, that I often dismiss my driver early in the afternoon, just so I can gain back some of my independence.

Drivers are also used to run errands. A schlepper per se. Clothes need to go to the dry cleaner? No problem. Have your driver take them. You need to go grocery shopping or are missing an ingredient for dinner? Give your driver a list and send him off. You need to fill a prescription filled, get flowers for a dinner party, have the gas tank filled, or something dropped off at a friends house. Send your driver do it.

This is all in an ideal world.

Unfortunately, our seemingly competent driver has recently been having troubles successfully accomplishing these menial tasks. Apparently it's too difficult for him to arrive early enough to take me to the school for meetings or other obligations. In the past two weeks he's arrived late three times, thus forcing me to drive to the school myself. Normally it isn't a problem, but lately I've been feeding Grady breakfast on the twenty minute drive to the school. Late breakfast = cranky child = irritated mom. And the kicker? He doesn't even let me know he's going to be late, rather he arrives at my house and then sends me a text message saying that he's here and he's sorry that I'm not. Really? What part of text me so that I don't wait for you do you not understand?

Another frustrating aspect is that despite specific instructions and lists, he's been returning from the stores with the wrong items. Or worse, with no items. And always with an excuse. Some of my favorites are:

"They don't have that" ~ Which can mean ... the one store he went into doesn't carry that particular item right now, though it probably means that he just didn't feel like checking at another store.

"It's too expensive" ~ Which can mean ... that he didn't get an exact price, so he's just assuming that it's too much money. It's also used as a deterrent to potentially cut down on his workload... if it's too expensive, I won't make him go out and search for something that I may not buy.

"Only one store carries that" ~ Which can mean ... that he doesn't feel like driving across town to another store to get what I need. Or that he has no idea what I really want.

"It will take time" ~ Which can mean ... The store doesn't have it now. Or the store said they'll have it soon. Or the store has no idea when they're going to get in the specific item. But most likely ... that he's too lazy to take care of it correctly, or in a timely manner.


Without going into any more specifics incidences and irritations with my driver, of which there are many, let's just sum it up by saying that I've finally hit my limit. I obviously don't need a driver. I only need a part-time schlepper. But I can't really get that. It's all or nothing. So I gave him an ultimatum. It's my way or the highway, and there are no more chances.

Matt seems to think he'll be gone by the end of the month. Who knows... maybe I will get to walk around without a bra during the day after all. No wait, I forgot about the rest of the people still at my house... the gardener, the roving guards, the maintenance people... Ahhh... big sigh.