And We Had Fun Fun Fun, Until Mom Made Us Throw Out Our Melted Ice Cream Cones

We went to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk yesterday.

Where we ate junk food. Lots and lots of junk food.

And rode on roller coasters.

Some they LOVED.

Others ... NOT so much.

We watched a show on the beach... while Grady decided to do face plants in the sand instead.

And we hung with our Bubbie and Zadie.

In all, it was a fun day! The weather was perfect, allowing us to be comfortable in our long sleeved shirts until the evening, when were thankful to have sweatshirts. The kids more than got their money's worth of rides. And the baby ... well, he was just thrilled to eat his way through the Boardwalk.

Wordless Wednesday

Sitting in the firetruck was a dream come true for Riley.
Getting one semi-decent photo of the three of them was a dream come true for me.

It Takes A Village To Tighten A Bike Chain

I patched a flat tire on Sheridan's bike today. By myself. The first of many I'm sure I'll fix over the next year.

After she came into the house screaming that she couldn't ride her bike because her tire was flat, together we found a large thorn stuck all the way through to the tube. With nobody around to help me fix it, I took off all my jewelry, figured out how to remove the back wheel and brought it into the house. There I filled the tube with air and put it into the sink to locate the leak; a job I've watched my father do countless times before. Once I marked where it was, it didn't take long to read the directions on the back of the patch kit ... to buff the area, glue, and finally patch.

But don't congratulate me just yet. After I got the tube and tire put back onto the wheel, and the wheel back onto the bike, I did have a wee bit of trouble tightening the chain. After fiddling with it for another five minutes, realizing that I would have to loosen and tighten the back tire again, I gave up and told Sheridan that I needed Matt's, my dad's help. Darn, I was so close!

Matt has been gone for exactly one month. And while everyone who knows us knows that I'm the handy one who does the majority of the work in, out, and around the house, he's at least usually there to help cheer me on, relieve some of the burden, or in the end, to "call a guy."

Now? I call my dad. To help tighten the chains on the bikes and fix other flat tires. And my mom. To pick up stuff from the grocery store or to feed and watch the baby. And my in-laws. To store all our cr*p while we're at my parent's house and to help us with the paperwork for the girls school (which doesn't start until after Labor Day ... ugh). And my aunt and uncle to help with synagogue stuff. And my cousins to pencil us in for playdates. And my family and friends to lend an ear or three.

We are going on ten weeks of nomadic living, with three more to go before we move into our rental house for the rest of the school year. The honeymoon period of living in guest bedrooms of both my parents and in-laws house is long gone, and we concede that our brood is akin to the adage of guests and fish smelling after three days. At this point we could singe your nose hairs for we smell as pungent an Asian market's seafood department.

Yet, despite these frustrations of displacement and assuming all parental responsibilities, I'm slowly acquiescing and relating to the former first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton's book, "It Takes A Village." However in our case it's more like, "It Takes A Country." This country. Filled with an over abundance of everything I've been missing and craving for the past few years. Which, again, I'll take right now. Along with all the help I can get. Despite my usual disdain searching it. Because with Matt gone for the next eleven months, I recognize that while I wouldn't necessarily ask for it, my country, my peeps are always there to provide "it".... the phone calls, the emails, the texts, the notes, the history, the support. Sometimes whether I want it or not. Along with an extra serving of Jewish guilt on the side. For good measure.

And that's OK. In fact it's appreciated. Almost as much as having someone come over to lend a hand scooping and bagging the multiple piles of dog poop in the backyard.

Or tighten a bike chain.

What You May Not Be Able To Say In Words, Can Often Best Be Summed Up In Photos...

Seven months ago my friend Christy emailed me in India and asked me if I thought about attending BlogHer 2010 in New York City. Sure, I had thought about it, as I had done every year for the past three years, but I knew that with school starting in early August that I'd never be able to go. That is, until I started talking about it with Matt, and expressing how much I WANTED to go ... how much I NEEDED this conference, that we made the decision to keep the kids in the States an extra few weeks this summer before we headed back to India. And on February 28, mere minutes before the registration deadline, I paid my entrance fees and signed up for the two-day conference.

Of course, by now we all know the change of events in our lives, and instead of worrying about starting school a few days late, I now have to worry about managing the kids and dog solo while Matt is in Iraq for the next 49 weeks. Though I digress... so let's get back to my weekend in New York City.

As I sit here, attempting to sum it up in a paragraph or two, I struggle with my loss for words. Which probably isn't something to admit after returning from a blogging conference where I should have found my voice. The irony is that despite the ideas and experiences rolling around in my head for the past few days, I don't think that I can in any way remotely articulate what and why attending BlogHer meant to me. So let me try to sum it up in one word: Community.

Long before I began connecting with the other State Department bloggers, where by sheer happenstance it's easy to find commonalities, I slowly began discovering blogs that interested me. Blogs about sewing... photography... travel... mom blogs... humor blogs... mens blogs. You name it, I probably read it. Some resonated with me and I still read them today. Others took paths that no longer kept my interest. But over the years I've spent an awful lot of time searching. And reading. And devouring. Their words. Their style. Their lives.

This blogosphere, online community, if you will, has helped mold and shape me and my blog since I took "The Perlman Update" public 3 1/2 years ago. These bloggers, along with my family and friends, have really helped encourage and support me throughout the years as ... we moved from Israel to India to California, I underwent all the medical procedures, during my pregnancy with Grady, the packing, the moving, the vacations, the vomit, and most recently, Matt's unaccompanied tour.

So again you ask, how does one put into words meeting these ladies after SO many years of stalking, reading, commenting, communicating? You can't. So you put it in pictures... as you'll see below.

The conference more than paid for itself with the two photography sessions that I went to... listening to the community keynotes where I laughed until my sides hurt and cried the ugly tears ... AND most importantly, from the friendships I made. I went to the conference having met absolutely no one in person, and left there with a few really solid girlfriends I know I'll be in touch with outside of blogging. The hardest part for me was just getting out of my comfort zone... though once I psyched myself up to introduce myself to people (many of whom I'll admit I'd been dying to meet), it became easy. And fun. And filled with fantastic memories.

There's so much more I could say about the weekend. So many more people to recognize. And thank. And I WILL when I do a recap of the things I learned. But for now, here's a peek into my forty eight hours in NYC.

Doesn't everybody have a picture of themselves and Bruce Jenner at a blogging convention?



L to R: Me and my roommate Christy, Me and Pauline, and Christy, Me, and Loukia



Left: In Times Square with Amy, Pauline, me, Stacey
Right: At lunch with ... ladies I ALWAYS wanted to meet...
Back: Scarymommy, me, Carolyn Online, Twenty-four at heart,
Momo Fali, Bitchinwivesclub, Annsrants, San Diego Momma
Front: Vodkamom, OHmommy, Is There Any Mommy Out There, wendiaarons, Heather of the EO, and PostPicketFence



Left: Kate, Christy, Anna (The ladies who made it ALL worth attending)

Right: Christy, Kari, Issa, and me

New York City Here I Come

My bag is packed. Overpacked actually because I like having options. I even cleaned out my purse. The one and only purse I own right now because usually I carry a diaper bag. It no longer has diapers or cheerios in it, though I kept the wipes because ... well, you never know when you may need them. I also couldn't be bothered to wipe off the dried milk on the side pocket that's been there for goodness knows how long. Do you think anyone will notice? Moreover, do I really care?

I had to do some last minute shopping today because my friend told me that I'll need a dress (or two) for the evenings. I'm a jeans girl. I rarely, and I mean RARELY ever wear anything but jeans. So buying a cocktail dress was kind of a big deal for me. And wearing it will be huge. That is, after I go shopping in New York for a pair of Spanx. How I could have forgotten to buy them is beyond me. Maybe it's because my head is spinning about leaving the kiddos for a few days with my parents. It's not that I'm worried about them taking care of them, it's just that I haven't left the girls overnight in 3 years, and I've never ever left Grady. At fourteen months he has severe separation-from-mommy anxiety. These few days away will be great for everyone. I just fear for the attachment that's going to happen when I get back on Sunday.

Riley also lost her eighth tooth today. She's been deathly afraid to lose the tooth while I'm gone for fear that the toothfairy may not remember to come and take her tooth. I too have been a tad worried about it because she's been asking a lot of questions about the toothfairy again. Questions about who the toothfairy is. Questions about how the toothfairy finds us after we move. Questions about how much the toothfairy gives kids in the United States. To allay Riley's fears, we found the toothfairy website on the internet and sent her an e-mail to remind her that we moved AND that she's staying with her Bubbie and Zadie this weekend. As sad as I am to not see her face in the morning after she finds her envelope with money in it, I'm actually quite excited to have her tell me that the toothfairy found her ... even in Fremont ... when I'm not there!

Have a great weekend everyone. I'm off to the Big Apple....

On The Road Again

Like true nomads, we Perlmans don't like to stay in any one place too long... lest we actually get comfortable, or you know, settle in...

Saturday morning, after 7 weeks of infiltrating my in-laws house in Newport Beach, we over-packed the family truckster and slowly made the drive up to my parent's house in northern California. Oh it was a LONG trip... a very, very long trip. What should have been a mere six hour drive, turned in to the nine hour journey from hell as Grady had a high'ish fever and screamed for hours on end. I had to pull off the freeway every hour or so in what was ultimately a failed attempt to ever console him. So. Not. Fun.

As we'll be here for the better part of a month, we wanted to bring as many creature comforts from southern California as possible. Of course, we brought the dog. (Who was frankly so worried we'd leave her behind that she followed me around as I packed all Saturday morning, and then jumped into the back of the Land Rover and refused to move for fear I may change my mind). We also had the best intentions of purchasing a bike rack and schlepping the girls bikes up here. Though that idea quickly fell to the wayside when I discovered I'd first have to buy a tow hitch (for the low price of $458 ... which, by the way, despite that ridiculous price does NOT come with anything else ...) and THEN I could buy the bike rack (for another $250+). Seriously? It was far cheaper to buy the girls overpriced bikes today at both Wal-Mart and Target ... and less crap that I'll have to move between houses. Smart thinking, eh?

So here we are now, hanging our hats in the East Bay before we head back down to So Cal next month when we finally move into our rental house. Grady's fever has finally gone down after four days of it hovering around 102. The girls are bike riding fiends. I'm doing a tad more shopping before my trip to NYC this weekend. And we're off over the next few days to visit a bunch of girlfriends who I've known since both high school and college.

August ... here we are!

On a not-so-dark desert highway ... cool a/c in my hair...

Grady only has eyes for his sisters ...

Libby chilling in the back of the car on one of the rest stops.
Grady's temp ... poor little guy!

My parents jokingly had this picture hanging in my bedroom ...
look like anyone you know?

The Countdown Has Begun

I received this e-mail from Matt early Monday morning, about twelve hours after his arrival into Iraq.

"Exiting the ramp of the C-130, my boots hit the dusty tarmac at BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) at approx 09:00 this morning. The weather is hot - like standing in front of a smelting furnace hot. Donned body armor and helmet for my individual motorcade down "Route Irish" to the Embassy compound. The compound resembles a prison with a series of nondescript beige buildings separated by dirt fields where grass may someday be planted. Nevertheless, it offers all of the creature comforts with a huge dining facility (DFAC) and several little snack (Grab & Go) shops - all free. There is a Pizza Hut and Subway as well. The compound has a rec center, complete with gym and swimming pool. We are completely self-sufficient with our own water treatment plant, fire station, and emergency ambulances. My newly furnished apartment looks directly over the Tigris river."

So far he's doing well. He says his apartment and roommate are both quite nice ... with newly upgraded furniture, hard wired internet, a US phone number, an iPod docking station / alarm clock, and flat screen TV.

The compound also has two gyms, a swimming pool, and more food than you could possibly imagine available 24/7. So aside from working, people spend the rest of their time doing one of two things ... working out or eating. And leaves Matt coming home one of two ways ... hunky or chunky. You know which one I'm rooting for.

Many people have asked how I'm doing. The truth is ... it doesn't feel any different right now. For the most part. Remember, for the past 7 years I've spent the summers in California at either his parent's house or mine without him. Since we're not in our own house yet, and we don't have our own stuff yet, it just feels like an extended summer break. However, I'm quite certain that once we move into our rental house, and a few days here and there, it will hit me that he's in Baghdad. For the year. Don't get me wrong, I miss him. Terribly. The kids miss him. The dog misses him... But we're holding our own.

Three days down ... and the countdown has begun.

The Benefits of Blogging

Though I have been documenting our chaotic lifestyle for over seven years, it took a day like today for me to remember how truly powerful the internet can be. For many years my email updates turned blog were solely written for our family and friends, and it wasn't until early 2008 when I started to branch out and get involved with other expats, other websites, and other bloggers. Needless to say, the ramp up to where I am today took time... energy... and dedication.

Blogging can be as time consuming as anyone wants it to be, with dare I say hundreds of thousands of blogs to chose from. I read all of my girlfriend's blogs. I find that I connect with State Department bloggers just due to the nature of the lifestyle. I enjoy writers who are witty. Crafty. Snarky. East Coasters. Stay at home moms. Dog owners. And those who travel. I read many of the blogs that are named on the sidebar of my blog, though in all honesty, I'm so far behind in updating it to reflect where I truly spend my time online. One of these days...

Which nowhere near brings me to my point, though I'll just jump back there lest I digress any longer. Today, Matt got a chance to enjoy the benefits of my blogging. Today, on his way to Baghdad (via a quick stop over in Kuwait), Matt spent several hours taking a windshield tour of Kuwait City followed by a Lebanese dinner with another foreign service family, with whom I've been in communication for the past year. Today when he got back to his hotel, he sent me an email about his wonderful encounter with the Briden family that totally validated why I continue to blog. It's all about the community.

As a stay-at-home mom, formerly living overseas as a diplomat's spouse, I have noticed that sometimes just finding a community where I can relate, is the biggest challenge of all. Sure, I'm linked in to several State Department websites. I participate in support groups for spouses who are on unaccompanied tours. I connect with others via Twitter, Facebook, and blogging. But now that I'm back in the States for an indefinite period of time, I have the ability to change the focus a little bit. To find myself again. To scratch that seven year itch and rediscover the piece of me I gave up when I quit my job and began this nomadic lifestyle.

In two weeks I'm doing something totally for me. I'm heading to New York City, by myself, to attend The BlogHer 2010 Conference. For two days I'm going to be in the Big Apple meeting 2000 bloggers ... including many of the people whose blogs I've been reading for several years. I'm going to be learning about creative writing... enhancing my photos... social media... and controlling my online footprint. I'll be going to cocktail parties and evening events. And rooming with Christy, a sassy chick from the East Coast whose rockin' blog I've been following for ages.

Though I have no plans on changing the tone or content of I write in my blog, I want to really spend this year owning it and enhancing it. To freshen up my communities.

I'm excited. I'm investing in myself. And as I'm discovering, I'm worth it.

Matt in Kuwait

And In The Blink Of An Eye ... He Was Gone

We loaded the car early this morning as the sun was rising. Far earlier than anyone should be awake on a Sunday. Matt went back inside to kiss the kids goodbye one last time, and then stalled in the doorway as he gave the dog a last pat on her head. We left the house just as the newspaper was being delivered.

We didn't talk too much on the drive. In fact, the silence in the air was deafening.

The ride to the airport seemed to take much less time than normal. Maybe it's because there wasn't a lick of traffic. Maybe it's because I was concentrating so hard on not tearing up that I didn't notice anything but the road in front of me. All I can remember was that I wanted time to linger. To go as slowly as possible. To enjoy my last few moments with my husband in the flesh ...

We pulled into the airport at 6:30 am, and in no time I drove up to the curb at Terminal 7 so Matt could unload his bags. We slowly got out of the car. We shuffled our feet. We both put on our sunglasses.

Our goodbye was quick. Neither of us were ready to part ways, nor did we know what to say. So we hugged. We kissed. We cried. He whispered a few sweet words... He reminded me how much he loved me. He thanked me. He asked me to take care of his children.

And then we both turned and walked away.

DC this week. Onto Baghdad, Iraq next week.

Today begins our 53-week journey with my new role as a single mom. Continue along as I document the highs and lows of our life apart from daddy, and what it's like for the kids back in the US after seven years overseas. It may not always be rosy... but it'll definitely be real.

A Moving Experience

They were just two boxes. Nondescript. With the name even spelled wrong on one of them. Yet these two boxes carry more than just their 242 pounds of characterless contents... they carry the weight of the world. They are filled with memories. With meaning. With our heavy hearts.

The reality of these boxes being sent on to their next locale means that our last few days of being together as a family are coming to an end. A reality that just seemed to sneak up on us.

Respecting My Elder

Libby turned 9 today ... or as the girls like to say, she's now 63 in dog years. We didn't do anything special for her, except buy her a new dog toy and insist she wear a hat for a photo. Guess which one she preferred?

Libby is happier now than she's been in years. With regular walks and fresh air she has a new spring in her step.

Here she is in all her glory. Happy birthday little pooch!

This Week In iPhone Pictures ...

We've been out and about this entire week ... here's what I managed to capture on my iPhone.

Left: Some of the biggest waves seen this season down at "the wedge" in Newport Beach
Right: This is how they keep track of the camp kids when they go on field trips.

I finally had the chance to go to the salon and get my hair done. I had a Brazilian Blowout (insert all kinky comments here). It's actually a straightening procedure done for those with frizzy / curly hair. Same hairdo, same gray, same me. However, what once took me 50 minutes to dry / straighten, now takes me 5... and no brush required. Woo hoo!

Left: Date night. Ouch
Right: A woman carrying her dog ... and pushing the dog's stroller. Only in Newport...

Left: The beach house I almost rented for the year...
Right: The girls school playground. It's ON the beach. Pretty cool... if you like your kids coming home every.single.day with sand in EVERYTHING. Me? Not so much...

Left: Even babies sometimes sleep in the dog house.
Right: The kids goofing around with daddy.

Fourth of July in Pictures...

Holidays are cause for big celebrations down here in the tight knit community of Balboa Peninsula.... and the Fourth of July is definitely the biggest. The town provides decorations for the kids and dogs, a local band, a huge parade, and a fabulous hot dog lunch. What fun everyone had dressing up in red, white, and blue!

We finished up the day with a big party up in the Tustin Hills where the kids swam, ate, and ran around until the wee hours of the night. We had an amazing view of at least 10 different fireworks going off at the same time.

With Matt leaving soon to Iraq, we're starting to feel a wee bit more patriotic... Hope you all had a great 4th. We sure did.

Time Keeps On Slippin' Slippin' Slippin' ...

... into the future.

We've been in California for 2.5 weeks now, and we only have 2.5 weeks left before Matt leaves for Iraq. Insert the sounds of huge sighs, whines, and sniffles.

And there's been no rest for the weary.

As much as we're attempting to enjoy his 5 week vacation, we are also accomplishing a lot of things prior to his imminent departure. Things like securing the PO Box, shopping the sales at Old Navy, Gap & Banana Republic, visiting with my parents and brothers, haircuts and more haircuts, joining a Synagogue and signing the girls up for religious and Hebrew school, hanging with cousins, dealing with the State Department's incompetence regarding Matt's next 250 pound UAB shipment to Iraq, and even making a few trips up to LA for a little *ahem* jewelry shopping...

Somehow in all of this I managed to slip out last Saturday for a quick lunch with sorority sisters on our second annual get together. Of course, it'll probably be my first AND last solo outing until after Matt leaves. Priorities peeps.

This first day of the new month marked a day of new beginnings here in Newport Beach. Not only did Riley get a rockin' new hair do (because A. she was given a choice to either brush her hair or get it cut short, and she decided she wanted it cut ... and B. the first haircut from Supercuts was AWFUL and we needed to fix it), but Sheridan learned how to ride a bike without training wheels. Of course it would have been nice of me to have remembered my camera or video camera when I ran outside to watch Sheridan in all her glory, though by the time I got there she was losing steam and I was afraid that if I ran back inside that she'd then quit and all I'd have is a video of her screaming at me to turn off the camera. Been there before...

We are just coming up for air around here, so if you haven't received an e-mail back or a return phone call, please be patient ... and feel free to keep trying us! There's so much to do ... and time right now is dedicated to the family. As soon as Matt leaves I'll be doing a lot more reaching out, especially for support.

Until then, we're just flying...

It takes a sassy 7 year old to decide to be so bold as to cut her hair this short ...
... and a strong mom to handle watching her daughter's hair fall so quickly to the floor.
But it was priceless watching her face light up when her hair was dried straight
and she saw the end result. She LOVES it.

Sorority Sisters ... most of whom I've known since 1991