I'm Fit To Be Tied... Or Not...

I had a bevy of witty euphemisms all ready and waiting to use this afternoon ...

~ Let's Just Call A 'Spayed' A 'Spayed'

~ Tied And True

~ I'm Fixed - Though I Never Knew I Was Broken

~ Oh Baby, Oh Baby, NO!

... though after this morning's debacle, I no longer need them.

I went in this morning at just shy of 7 weeks post baby to get my tubes tied, and left the doctor's office with them still intact. Can't this girly ever catch a break? Seriously??

When my OB/GYN came to check on me in the hospital the day after I had Grady, we discussed all future birth control options. With only one that really suited our needs, we decided that I would undergo a uber cool in-office tubal ligation procedure. Hey, we've filled our kid quota for the family. No more munchkins from us! So I called the office manager and booked my procedure for today.

The idea of an in-office procedure was far more appealing than an outpatient surgery as I really didn't want to go under general anesthesia, nor deal with the additional recovery time. From everything I've researched, Essure seemed the best way for me to go.

After minor preparations, I went in to my OB's office today ready to walk out future-kid free. They gave me a local anesthetic, and after a few short minutes we were ready to rock and roll. The whole procedure should have taken less than 15 minutes from start to finish... that is if everything went as planned. All the doctor needed to do was verify that he could clearly see into each fallopian tube, and if so, insert the Essure micro-insert that blocks each fallopian tube. The body naturally builds scar tissue over the inserts, thus permanently blocking the fallopian tube and preventing unplanned pregnancy.

Sounds easy right?

It should have been. It was also virtually painless. Though it didn't work. It failed. I'm a failure. I'm broken.

All kidding aside, the doctor saw that one of my fallopian tubes was blocked. Hey, we're halfway there already, right? Unfortunately no. As the FDA requires that the coils go into the entrance to the fallopian tube, if one is blocked, the doctor can't be sure it's inserted correctly, and could potentially lead to an "Oops!". And if I had an Oops... well, let's just say that everyone should watch out... because I'd go postal!

So where does that leave me? Well... doing the craziest thing I know. Having the Essure procedure done in the Hoag Hospital operating room under a general anesthesia where the OB can use more advanced equipment and ensure that he doesn't hurt me or cause any discomfort. If it works great. If not, then he'd take the final steps and do a traditional tubal ligation where he cuts and ties off the tubes. Nothing like leaving it all until the last minute before I head back to India, eh?

Now I have already been asked why Matthew doesn't just get a little snip, snip himself. Well... would you trust your ball-sac to the medical system in Chennai? He may get a little more snipped than we bargained for.

Whatever. It's not like I don't have enough to do next week...


Kirsten said...

Oh my. What a bummer.

I had to have a c-section with our final child and had my tubes tied while they were in there. It's the best thing I've ever done. Makes birth control so easy. My husband is a huge chicken and I knew it would be a battle to get him to go in for the snip. So it was a no brainer.

BTW -- I think your husband owes you big time. Seriously.

Mom24 said...

I cannot believe it. I just can't even believe it. Good luck. Insane.

Jen said...

isn't that just your lucky.
I had them cut, tie and burn my tubes. I wanted to make triple sure there would be no more kids for us.

Anonymous said...

oh man, oh man. To say "you are such a trooper" is not even scratching the surface, Jill!

Eve Grey said...

Oh boy, that IS a bummer. About 4 months after i had the twins i told my husband if he ever wanted to have sex again, he would have to get snipped. He made the appt. the next day. (:
(About 2 years later, i REALLY wanted a 4th but too late, *sigh*. Probably for the best though....)

Cheryl Suliteanu said...

wow lady - you really know how to keep your life interesting... too interesting in my humble opinion!

Next time Matt is in the States, you should have him get snipped for good measure. I've heard many friends say the "snip for sex" ultimatum works like a charm!

Ween said...

Snippage is not all it's CUT out to be - ha!

My hubby has to have 2 vasectomies and we don't even live in Chenai :)

Keeping you in my retired uterus thoughts! :)

Crystal said...

Yikes, Jill! You can't win for losing : ) I hope all goes alot more smoothly this week~

Crystal said...

Yikes, Jill! You can't win for losing : ) I hope all goes alot more smoothly this week~

Joyce said...

You always have a lot on your plate! Yikes! I contemplated the tubal when I had my c-section, but chickened out.

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