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9.18.2011

You CAN Fight City Hall ...

... and WIN!

It wasn't easy. It caused many a gray hair. But knowing that I was ready to fight an important cause, made every single minute worth it.

It all started when the bus transportation route was published the week prior to the start of school. Our neighborhood bus stop was scheduled to pick up the kids at the entrance to our development. And I (along with all the neighbors) was none too pleased.

So I made my first call. To the Loudoun County Public School Transportation office. Where a lovely woman explained the bevy of reasons why the bus stop was located where it was, and why, under no circumstances, would a school bus be allowed to come into a development still under construction.

The first day of school was chaotic. While pushing Grady in his stroller, I walked the girls smack dab in the middle of the street to the bus stop with the neighbors. We weaved around the construction vehicles, the dumpsters, the mounds of dirt. With no sidewalks in sight, we waited in the middle of the street for the bus. We all complained.

It didn't take but one day to realize that I needed to start drafting my appeal letter to the Director of Transportation. To show him that our bus stop was inappropriately placed. To offer a perfectly acceptable alternative. I took pictures. I spoke with the neighbors. And everyone who had kids riding the bus in our neighborhood signed my letter ... that I HAND delivered two days later to both the Director and Supervisor of Transportation.




Of course, my letter was forwarded to an underling. To a person who took her time to review our appeal. And who ultimately didn't feel that our bus stop had as many issues as we did.




Not one to give in that easily, I pressed on. Challenging her denial and forcing her to look into another alternative as there was already a bus coming into our neighborhood.




Instead, she not only ended up denying our bus stop change, but additionally moved the special needs bus stop as well.

Now. I. Was. Mad. I gave it some thought, and later that night formulated an email that I quickly shot off to every single member of the Loudoun County School Board. Along with a damning video. And oodles of photos.




In less than an hour, I received two emails from School Board Members, one of whom forwarded on my email to fifteen or so more people, including the Superintendent's office. The other member walked me through the appeals process, gave me contact names at the Superintendent's office of people with whom I should meet, and helped me with the next steps should my next appeal hit roadblocks.

Thankfully I didn't need to take additional action because when I went to pick the girls up from bus stop the next day, who should be there to greet the parents, but the Director and Supervisor of the County Transportation Office. The original people with whom I hand delivered my appeal letter two weeks prior.

Crap managed to roll downhill ...

The two of them were surprised at what they saw. They talked with several parents. They walked our routes home. But more importantly, they showed up the next morning to watch the bus pick up. To see first hand what I wrote in my letter. To verify that I wasn't crying wolf.

That was last Tuesday.

Below is what my girls came home waving in their hands three days later.



Pure Justice


Never underestimate the power of persuasion ... or Mrs. Perlman's VERY large mouth.


Next fight. Putting in a Stop Sign near our new bus stop. I'll keep you posted ...








9.10.2011

On Hugging Your Kids ...

Of all the times to feel included, there is one club that we all never hope to join. It's a place where sadly, my sweet friend Anna, unwillingly entered last Thursday night.

When she lost her 12 year old son in the floods in Virginia.

I've never had a friend lose a child. There are no words. Nothing of comfort to say. No way to help make it better.

Like my other friends who knew her well, I am heartbroken.

I saw Anna just a few weeks ago when she came out to visit me and see the new house. We were both bummed that we didn't make it to the BlogHer conference in San Diego that very weekend, where we finally met the year prior in New York City. We went to lunch and laughed. Took self portraits and sent them to our friends. We made plans to get our families together...

There are so many things that I wanted to finally write about this week. The girls back to school nights. My screw up with Grady's preschool. The school bus debacle. But right now none of it seems to matter.

What does matter is that I'm now going to a funeral for a friend's young child next week. To offer support for her family. To grieve for a boy taken far too soon. To remember and to pray about how precious life is.

I am sickened. I am heartbroken. And I'm hugging my kids extra hard these days.

9.07.2011

First Impressions ...

... were taken yesterday.

At the orthodontist!

Where, in less than one month, BOTH girls will be getting their palate expander's. And then ... gulp ... braces!

After the insanely expensive pediatric dental visit last June, I knew that we were working with a small window of time get the girls to an orthodontist to begin their first phase of treatment. I hadn't quite planned on doing both of them so early, but seeing the mess that is Sheridan's mouth and jaw, and knowing that their dental journeys will be over way before mine ever started, had me reconsidering. Throw in the fact that this orthodontist we found has unbelievable reviews, comes highly recommended, and is my next door neighbor's best friend doesn't hurt either!

His office is a well oiled machine. They have books, magazines, TV, video games, and computers available to keep the siblings and parents occupied. It's extremely organized with everybody adhering to their roles and keeping the hoards of people coming in/out moving in a steady flow. They even have a program to keep kids engaged in their orthodontic progress by offering incentives for wearing the office's t-shirt to appointments, getting good grades, proving they have good oral hygiene, and not losing appliances. It. Was. Awesome.

Within 1.5 hours the girls had x-rays and facial profiles completed, we met with the treatment coordinator, we met with the orthodontist, the girls had more pictures taken, they signed the treatment wall, we met with the financial coordinator, and were finally fit for spacers and had impressions taken. No complaining. No gagging. No reprimanding.

Overall, I like this orthodontist's approach to treatment. He believes in being minimally invasive. He doesn't like to pull teeth. And believe it or not, it was less than I expected to pay! Of course, there is the chance that we'll need to do a second phase of treatment. But it would be nominal in both cost and time considering we'll have paid a majority the first time around.

For the time being, the only metal I'll be investing in won't be on my ears, wrists, or neck ...










9.01.2011

Make New Friends ... But Keep The Old

One is Silver and the other Gold ...

Which couldn't be truer here. I met these two lovely ladies way back in August, 2003 ... at our very first overseas post in Muscat, Oman. Three women in totally different stages of our lives. The newlywed, the working mom of a toddler, and mother of a six-month old who just stopped working for the first time in her life.

Connecting. Supporting. Building memories.

We've been there for each other through thick and thin. New babies and new countries. Failed pregnancies and unhappy jobs. The Embassy parties. The vacations. The three husbands doing hardship tours in Iraq and Cuba.

It's difficult to make friends when you get older. When you're no longer thrown into the Embassy community fishbowl. When you're as nomadic as we are. When you move into a house directly between two best friends and you so completely feel like the third wheel...

So I'm extra thankful that we stay in touch. And that we always try to meet up in DC when we know we're going to be in town at the same time. Which, since we left Oman six years ago, has happened twice. Once back in January, 2007.

And the other, last night.




Thanks ladies ... my cup is full for awhile.


Small trip down memory lane ...



March, 2004



November, 2004 ( I'm 8 months prego)


January, 2007



Visiting Alison in Budapest in May, 2006



Kathie in DC - Jan, 2009 (I'm 4 months prego)

8.29.2011

It's The MOST Wonderful Time Of The Year ...

I'm not sure which one I'm more excited about.

This ...



my 3rd and 2nd graders. wow.




the girl brigade in our neighborhood.



Or THIS ...




It's a toss up.






8.26.2011

Nothing Like A Last Minute Phone Call ...

Today the girls had their student orientation at their respective elementary schools. Their two different elementary schools. Which has really bummed me out for the past several months.

See, when I came here in April for our pre-construction walk through, I stopped by the school and picked up the registration packets. Unfortunately the secretary told me then that the kindergarten through second grade classes were already near capacity for the fall, and there was a high probability that Sheridan wouldn't make it in.

Sadly, when we finally closed on our house last month, and drove straight to the school to register the girls, the bad news was confirmed. Sheridan was wait listed and would be attending the overflow elementary school four miles away. At that time, we were given the option to keep Riley enrolled at our local elementary school, or send her with Sheridan. It was a tough choice to split them up, but with the chance that Sheridan would move over to our local school sometime during the year, moving Riley over could prove problematic if the third grade classes were filled and then there wasn't room for her.

More. Tough. Decisions.

So I was a "Bitter Betty" at Riley's school today. Her big, beautiful, modern elementary school that I teared up in the minute I walked through the double doors.

We stopped in the front office, where I inquired about Sheridan's position on the wait list and were told that they don't have any answers. Sure, I could call them later in the day. But they had no guarantees this year. Or worse yet, next. I walked out and cried.

After Riley's orientation we then drove over to Sheridan's school where my inner bitchiness bitterness was starting to get the best of me. Again, I couldn't contain my tears as we walked through this older, well established school. Sure, it was fine ... I just couldn't wrap my head around sending Sheridan here. Alone. When all of her new friends and neighbors were going down the street.

We unpacked all of her school supplies. I told her teacher. I explained our situation and she empathized. She understood. I cried.

And after a long day of orientations, we left the school, hopped in the car, and headed to where we always do when I need a pick-me-up. Starbucks... where amazing things always seem to happen.

As I was walking in to grab another free drink, my cell phone rang. The woman on the other end was none other than the secretary at the local elementary school. Telling me that she can't believe it ... but she has a spot available for Sheridan and wanted to know if I wanted it.

Do I want it?

I screamed. I cried. I broke out in my best Elaine Benes inspired jig in the middle of the parking lot, and totally embarrassed the girls.

After I grabbed that free drink ... priorities ... we drove back to the overflow school and picked up the school supplies we JUST dropped off twenty minutes prior.

Now off to buy the school supplies for the new school, because you KNOW they had to be different than overflow.

And then to submit my letter to the school board requesting they change the bus stop. Because there's never a dull moment here ...


8.25.2011

Never Say Never

Today marks exactly one month that we've owned our new home. One amazingly expensive month of crapping out $1000 bills like they were growing on our non-existent money trees.

Though as the boxes become fewer and the dust begins to settle, we are able to look around our new house and basque in the culmination of the adventures and sacrifices we've made for this nomadic lifestyle.

As a Foreign Service Family, we have the opportunity to lead one exciting life. Raising our kids overseas. Traveling to places that they will be reading about in history books. Building relationships that will last a lifetime.

We feel very blessed.

I have spent many months thinking about my experiences over the last year. Trying to find a way to articulate the challenges, as well as, the tribulations of our year apart. A recap of sorts where I tie it all up with a pretty little bow.

But the reality is ... my words fail me.

When your spouse leaves on an unaccompanied tour you go into it with the Guerrilla Mindset, "Get in. Do your tour. And get out."

By the first R&R you're angrily saying, "Never again".

As you hit the half-way point. The holiday season. Your second R&R you lighten up a bit and admit that, "You can suck it up for a year."

And when you see each other on your final R&R, with less than three months to go, the tears are few and the excitement high. You realize that, dare I say it, "It wasn't as bad as you anticipated."


If I've learned anything at all in my years as a Foreign Service spouse, there are no absolutes. And what you once said you'd NEVER do ... you find yourself doing not once, but twice.

As many of you know, Matthew's job here in Washington D.C. is a one-year tour.

After thoughtful deliberation, starting way back at the beginning of this year, we have made the decision for Matt to do one more unaccompanied tour.

Next summer, Matt will be heading out once again to serve as of the Regional Security Officers in Afghanistan.

And the kids and I will be staying here. Remaining here in our new house. With our support system already in place.

Lest people criticize, I understand this is not for everybody. We are making a calculated investment for our future, and what it means to Matt career, as well as our financial security. It's not that he has a compelling desire to be separated from his family. It's obviously a gamble. But, we're optimistic that it's going to pay off down the road.

We have decided to refrain from telling the kids for awhile due to their inability to comprehend time. For now we'll just enjoy the year. And the moments we share together while making plans for our future...





8.24.2011

And Starbucks Saves The Day ...

Well apparently in order to title and register your car in Virginia you need to show proof of residency. Which, of COURSE I knew. And remembered. Last night. Though it CLEARLY did not help me today, when I rushed out of the house to the DMV.

So there I was. Twenty minutes away from home. Paperwork in hand. Feeling oh so pretty in wrinkled clothes with my hair looking like birds could build beautiful nests in its mess. Ready to brave the bureaucracy.

Within two minutes of walking in the door I was at a window. Smiling. Hoping. Praying that the paperwork would speak for itself.

Which it didn't. Because of course, I wrote the wrong lien holder's address on the form and needed to re-fill it out. Thankfully the DMV was empty and the lady let me fill out the paperwork at her window.

But when my California driver's license didn't show proof of Virginia state residency, and the blank stare on my face trying to hide my stupidity didn't send me packing, I did what any other self-respecting woman on the verge would do.

I pulled out the only piece of mail I had on me. My trusty, "Free drink because you spend way too much time and money in Starbucks" card. That shows ... none other than my change of address.

Proof, that I do in fact, now live in Virginia.

Would you believe that the woman at the DMV, my new BFF, actually accepted it?

Hallelujah!!

Within ten minutes my car was now titled and registered in Virginia. Fees paid. License plates distributed. I was out the door. And onto Starbucks ... where my caffeine habit has proved itself beyond worthy ...

Would you have expected anything different?


In other news ...

* Screw the sprinklers! We're moving onto the big guns. Like irrigation systems. Apparently there IS a limit on how many times a day I can stand to move the sprinklers around the yard ... eight is more than enough!

* The girls got their bus schedules for school and I'm less than thrilled. I was already reeling that Sheridan didn't get into the same school as Riley this year due to the district's poor planning on teacher / student ratios and under estimated boom of housing sales in this county. But now I have to deal with an inappropriately placed bus stop and two completely different pick-up times. I've already made the phone call to the district. Next up? My letter to the school board ... with every single neighbor ready to sign ...

* We have been bogged down in organizing hell. Sure the boxes are all unpacked and everything is put in the right room ... but holy heck have we spent WAY too much time trying to put it all in away. And searching for curtains. And searching for curtains. And did I mention that we're still searching for curtains?

* We survived the earthquake. I grew up in Northern California. I went to school at Northridge. Enough said?

* Our backyard deck is getting built in less than 3 weeks.

* The storage room in our basement is getting dry-walled in a few weeks.

* We have seen a bevy of friends over the past week ... including dear friends from Israel, Matt's work friends from Iraq whose families have quickly become our newest confidantes, a 6 year old birthday dinner, a ladies luncheon with fun friends, and even a house guest over the weekend! Much needed fun ... and laughing ... and relaxing indeed.

* The girls start school next Monday. Matt starts work on Monday as well.

* Can you tell I'm looking forward to Monday?


Until then ... can someone please remind me where we planted our money tree?





Not the original one. I obviously have a few due to my ... habit. *ahem*


8.11.2011

Home Sweet Home ... FINALLY

So as you can see, I've been taking a bit of a break. Turns out, home ownership keeps you rather busy. Especially when you now have a yard to maintain. And new sod, which requires a ridiculous amount of TLC.

Of course when your new sod dies a few days before you move into your new home due to an extreme heat wave, you now have extra yard work to do and higher water bills to pay as you spend every waking minute trying to bring your coarse brown grass back to luscious green.

You then make at least fifty-two trips to Home Depot and Lowe's on your quest to find THE perfect sprinkler heads for your postage stamp sized front and back lawn, in addition to all the other "stuff" you needed ... like hoses, light bulbs, wall anchors, picture hooks, plants, potting soil, dimmer switches, power tools, drill bits, mini blinds, spackle, and many, many, many more items that I've both purchased AND returned over the past several weeks.

This move has consumed us me.

At some point I may write about our closing. The never-ending trips to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Wal-Mart, and Costco. Our four different movers ... with our stuff from California, from Belgium, from Maryland, from Iraq. I'd tell you about all the things that were broken. Or stolen. Or gross and moldy and faded after eight years in storage. I'd complain about the never ending solicitors. The bugs. The waiting around every single day for something to be delivered or installed or serviced. I may even hint at having a huge argument with the contractor on the day they came to replace our dead sod. Let's just say that like the TV show Cheers, 'everybody knows my name.'

I'd also kvell about our neighborhood. Our neighbors, who ALL have kids around our kids ages. Instant friends and bike riding buddies and never ending basements to play in.

But right now, I'm done. We're finally catching our breath as we begin to make this house a home. And for the first time in almost three weeks we are able to lift our heads up and get out of the house for more than just a Target run.

I sent out an email with our new address. If you didn't get it or you want it, send me an email. If you emailed us over the past few weeks and I didn't respond. Please forgive me and know that I'll try to get back to you. Eventually.

Though it will most likely be after we head to Home Depot one more time. I just know we'll pick up the right sprinkler head one of these days. Until we do, pray for rain.





7.17.2011

The Next Chapter ...

Early this morning I heard the soft tap, tap, tap on the hotel room door. A sound I was anxiously awaiting. An arrival that was long overdue. I knew he was coming. I just didn't tell the girls.

The flight landed an hour earlier than expected. It usually does. Though this time it was bittersweet, as with our jet lag, I knew there was no way I could get everyone up and dressed and dragged to the airport hours before the sun rises.

It's been a year. A year filled with change. With challenges. With accomplishments. With love. There were moments when it felt like the year would never end. There were days and weeks when it felt like it was flying by so fast my head was spinning.

I answered the door this morning to the weariest of travelers. One who has spent the last thirty hours making his way home. To his new home. And family. Who couldn't be any more excited to finally have him back.

It has been equally tough for him to be away from his family. Long hours. Seven-day work weeks. Months in between R & R trips. Everyone concentrated on how I was doing, yet often forgot that it wasn't exactly a picnic for him either.

For the first time in 364 days we don't have to look at a calendar and worry about a count down or missing a moment. Instead, we have the final walk through and inspection on our brand new house. We have the opportunity to finally relax for a few days before the the chaos of the movers, the boxes, the mess sets in. We have new memories to build together in Virginia.

Today we are closing one door and opening another ...

7.16.2011

Hello Virginia!

Your newest residents have finally arrived.

So let's just sum up our travel day with two words ... "It's Over."

After being used as a human jungle gym, a napkin, and a bed for the 4 hour, 40 minute flight, I was more than ready to land. Probably not as much as the people around us who had to endure the multiple fits, the jumping, the shushing, the walking the aisles, and the bickering coming from row 31. But at least they were friendly. And helpful ... as I needed someone to carry my bags when Grady insisted on being carried off the plane in one of his epic fits.

Now we're here. Our bags made it in one piece. And better yet, I even managed to sweet talk the United agent into waiving the baggage fees ($240) when I pulled out my travel orders and told her we were moving.

But the icing on the cake? Having our dear friends, who we've known since Oman, deal with the dead battery in my car just prior to picking us up at the airport. One issue I actually didn't have to deal with myself!!! How's that for timing?

Not only that ... They washed the car. Put gas in it. Took us out to dinner. They even left us with a large gift bag of snacks and goodies ... and the all important bottle of wine. Holy rockin' friends!


Eight days until we close on the house ...

Nine days until the movers start delivering our stuff ...

Ten days until we move in ...

7.15.2011

Stick A Fork In Me ...

... because I am DONE with packing.

Oh, don't misread that I'm actually done packing ... I'm just done with packing. There IS a difference.

For the third time in five weeks I am packing up our eight suitcases and 4 carry-ons. An insane amount of cr*p that I'm stuck schlepping around because the movers decided to condense our pack-out into one day. Remember?

However, this time, I'm packing for the BIG move. The one that has us leaving California and finally becoming Virginia State residents.

In between the packing and organizing, I'm working with 3 different moving companies to have our 3 shipments of "stuff" delivered to us starting the day after we close on the house. A small feat considering each company has their own set of contractors who they have to contact to secure the dates we want ... during prime moving season.

Thankfully, with just minor complications, every delivery is now confirmed.

And my Land Rover? Sitting safe and sound at my friend's house as we speak.

And our mortgage? Moving along with the underwriter.

In all, a process that is slowly coming together, piece by piece, at the very last possible minute. Though, should I have expected anything different?


Wish me luck and sanity tomorrow ...

... that all our bags make it there in one piece

... that Grady somewhat sits quietly on the plane

... that no child has a colossal meltdown in the airport

... that the passengers around me offer help rather than criticism

... and when we arrive in Virginia, that I don't look like I need my friend (who's meeting me at the airport) to bring me more than one cocktail ...

Two at the most.

7.11.2011

Mini Me(s) ...

We all know that Grady looks identical to Matt ... thus proving that I was solely the vessel.



Left - Circa 1973 ... Right - Circa Oct, 2010


But after looking through photo albums at my parent's house, here's proof that I have my own little doppelganger ...


Circa 1977 ...




All photos ... Circa 2009

7.08.2011

The Height of The Matter ...

Ever since my parents moved into this house 30+ years ago, they've kept a wall chart of my brothers' and my height. Sure the walls have all been painted a few times since they've lived here, but not this one particular section in the laundry room. No sirree! It's been unbelievably maintained. A wall we all enjoy looking at every time we walk through the room.

I've noticed in many of my friend's and cousin's houses that they've done the same thing. Kept a running chart of their kids measurements. Compared how one child grows to another. However, being the nomads that we are, aside from the yearly well checks, we haven't kept track of how tall the kids have become, nor lived in any one place long enough to start our own wall.

Luckily, years ago my dad had enough foresight to realize this, and start charting our kids on this very same wall.

Every time we come to visit, the kids immediately run into the laundry room and ask to be measured. They know they need to stand perfectly still, with their head straight and feet together touching the base of the wall.

Sure this method may not be as scientific as a chart from the pediatricians office, where we can see their exact measurements and percentages compared to other kids their age. But I'd be willing to bet that this wall chart is better. Because it compares the kids to me AND to my brother's heights from the very same ages!

But the best part? Last year my parents spent many painstaking hours transferring this exact height chart onto a large roll of butcher paper so that when we move into our new house, we can transfer the kids heights onto their own wall.

Pretty amazing, eh?


So here are some interesting stats ...

I am 5 feet tall. My brother Scott is 5'10''. My brother Randy is 5'3''.

Riley at age 8 is the exact same height as my brother Scott when he was the same age. She is the same height as my brother Randy when he was 12, and the same height as me when I was 11.5.

Sheridan at age 6.5 is the exact same height as my brother Scott when he was the same age. Sher is the same height as my brother Randy when he was 9, and the same height as me when I was 8.5.

Grady at age 2 is the same height as both Sheridan and my brother Randy when they were 3.5.

I've always had one wish for my kids ... it's that they're taller than me. It looks like there's hope!





7.06.2011

See Ya Soon!

Bye-Bye Land Rover. Have a safe ride to Virginia. See you in a few weeks ...




Car shipped early because it is less expensive to rent a car here than it is in Virginia. And if it arrives before us? Then it'll be delivered to my friend's house. The same dear friend who is kindly letting me send loads of other cr*p that I forgot to have the movers box up.

10 days ...

7.04.2011

Nothing Says Independence Day Quite Like a SIX Mile Hike ...

... with your brother, father, AND your daughters. Up the 2500 foot Mission Peak mountain. In the 90 degree heat.

As much as you really want to stop and turn back because not only are YOU tired, but your daughters have b*tched, whined, and moaned about EVERYTHING under the sun since the MINUTE you stepped on the trail. You don't. Because frankly, you all needed the exercise. And you're a glutton for punishment.

So after an hour of the insanity, you do what every good mother does. You bribe your kids. With money. And tell them that for every 15 minute increment they don't whine, you'll give them a dollar. Which Zadie will match. Then you shake your head in bewilderment as the true depth of their physical pain is proven when they completely forgot about it ... after being bribed with money to continue.

But in the end, after the three mile hike in the two hours and two minutes it takes you to get to the top, you let out a huge sigh of relief. You pat yourself on the back for persevering through the pain. You shed a tear at the beautiful sight of the two American flags waving in the wind at the peak and the gorgeous views of the San Francisco Bay.

Only to be snapped back to reality as your descent takes you another hour and a half. More whining and moaning ensue after several falls on the steep, rocky trails. Your brother carries your youngest daughter down several precarious shortcuts. You finish the last of the five water bottles, the Mike & Ike's, and the M&M's. You continue to look back at the peak where the flags get smaller and smaller and smaller as you FINALLY reach your car.

And you realize that the ENTIRE hike was worth it when your eldest daughter turns to you, after crying the last thirty minutes of the hike, tracking gum into the backseat of the car, complaining how thirsty she still is, and matter of factly says, ...

"You owe me four bucks."

Though in reality, she could have earned twelve.

Happy 4th of July.


P.S. While I jest, I absolutely must compliment my girls for an amazing job well done. It was a tough hike, and though I tease, they really were troopers and truly deserve to be congratulated!




at the top of Mission Peak





can you see the flag at the top of the peak?




about 1/3 of the way up




almost there







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