DISCLAIMER: The chaos performed here in the Perlman Household is done by trained professionals, with years and years of experience. Do NOT try this at home.

Myth #1:

If the newly re-ordered palette of Trex for your deck is delivered to your house early Monday morning and your builder comes in the late morning to rip out half your deck and re-install the new Trex, the dye lot on the new Trex will match the dye lot of at least half of the old Trex.


Not surprisingly, the dye lot of the new Trex delivered is still a slightly different shade than both of the previous palettes of Trex. Now we have three different colors of Trex sitting in our driveway.

Myth #2:

When the mold and wet wood from leak in your basement is removed, the pungent smell should begin to dissipate.


Not only is the smell still there, but we now have additional stinky smells in the mix ... including the sanding and painting of the steel beams near the leak and the sealing of a crack in the concrete.

Myth #3:

When the brick and siding are removed from your house in order to get to the basement to remove the mold and wet wood, the weather person who predicted sunny weather for the rest of the week while you wait for the hole in your house to be fixed, will be right.


Not only will the weatherman be wrong and it will rain all night long, but the wind will also be blowing IN the direction of the large hole ... and the half-assed job to cover the hole may not be good enough to keep the water out.

Myth #4:

When receiving an email from the teacher asking you to be the room parent, it is most likely because your reputation preceded you.


You were actually the ONLY one to answer the teacher's email that she blind copied and sent out to eight other parents. Jackass.

Stay tuned for next week's episode where we test out whether or not two girls can keep the spacers in their mouth for required two weeks before they get their palate expander's on. Or whether the Land Rover dashboard warning lights will continue to go off at the most inopportune time.


Christy said...

Oh my god. I don't even know what to say. Trex needs to get their act together and deliver an ENTIRE load of new boards, right? The bastards need to work around the clock to fix the leak and smells...and your girls. Oy. I hope they can keep them in. :(

Jill Ann said...

Life comes at you fast:). Hope is eases up for you.

Betsy said...

I think it is time for a girl's weekend away or an extra large bottle of Calgon. I hope this week is better than that last one. :)

Issa said...

This all just sucks. I'm sorry honey. I hope it gets worked out soon.

Nomads By Nature said...

WOW. Will pray for your sanity, a complete supply of one dye lot, accurate weathermen, cleansing breezes that dry just the right places, your sanity again, great bargain prices of your favorite bottle, more Starbucks bonus cards for being an awesome Room Parent, active behind the scene parents to support the Awesomest Room Parent, more sanity spare to overflowing, more wine, good friends nearby to cry on their shoulders while holding your glass steady for you, kids that don't argue while you are coaching the installation of a real plan to quickly fix the problem..... I may have missed something, but will finish with a prayer for your sanity again. Love your humor about it all - it will save you. Hang in there!

Mom24 said...

Oh Jill! Good luck getting everything resolved. The room parent thing is kind of funny though. Next time you'll know not to answer that email. ;)

Marinka said...

Congrats, Room Mom. xo

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh no... At least you have a sense of humor about it?

Loukia said...

GAH! Jill! Do you ever have one day where things are totally relaxed? Yes, like Kate said, you do have a sense of humour... best thing ever! :)

Shannon said...

YIKES! It's all gotta turn around sometime soon, right? This simply cannot continue. You really need Starbucks, a mani/pedi, a girls night out...something! Hang in there.

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