1.06.2011

Frankly There Isn't Anything More Disgusting ...

... than V.W.O.W.

That is ... Vomit Without Warning.

He didn't look sick at all. In fact, he was playing with the crayons at the Rainforest Cafe, and laughing with his sisters from the minute we walked in the door. He was drinking apple juice. He was eating his grilled cheese sandwiches. He was smiling.

But he became cranky rather quickly. He stopped eating. He started whining. His nose, which was already rather runny, became a fountain. He reached for me. He wailed for mommy. I did what I never do during mealtime ... I picked him up.

Grady immediately stopped crying. He was warm. He clearly had a fever. He turned around, faced me, and used my sweater as a tissue just before he laid his head down on my shoulder.

At that point I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, it IS Murphy's Law that when you're wearing a white tank top and a brand new sweater from Banana Republic (that you thankfully got on sale during Black Friday), it's ONLY logical that you're going to get puked on. Without warning of course.

No gurgling sound to give me a heads up. No hiccup or tummy growing to let me know in advance that he'd be blowing chunks of kernel corn and partially regurgitated blueberries. Who had any idea that the fluorescent red slime would immediately cover my sweater, my pants, my purse, and go straight down my white tank top and into my bra.

I did what any self-respecting mother of three, who is more concerned about saving her sweater and tank top than cleaning up the rest of the vomit that is covering her sick son from head to toe would do ... I called for a rag, shed that sweater, lifted my tank top, and in plain view began pulling the chunks of gross-ness out of my bra. I even barked for some soda water ... to blot.

I then called out, "Check please".

Five minutes later we were in the car, rushing to get home. Because the worst part of it was about to begin... the smell of drying vomit on the lapel of my sweater that I had to breathe in for the twenty-five minute drive home.


There is a silver lining in all this disgusting-ness. The white tank top is already clean (thank you bleach), my sweater looks like it just may survive (we'll know as soon as the hand wash cycle is completed), and it's probably only a 24-hour bug and he'll be good as new tomorrow.

Oh yeah, and at least Grady doesn't have pink eye ... like me. Again.

15 comments:

Headless Mom said...

Blech. Maybe I shouldn't have read this. Being a mom is so glamorous, isn't it?

Kat said...

Oh NO. That is horrible! I am so sorry. For all of you.
Hope your sweater makes it and your little man is feeling much better soon.

Crystal said...

I think you and I live veery similar lives ; ) YOu had to know when you put on your beautiful new sweater that you were tempting Murphy's Law!

Becky said...

Oh man. You get double Mom points today.

viridis said...

Oh, yea. I can totally relate! My daughter was sick with the 24 hour bug for 4 days straight. And the actions of a sick kid must be universally to cling to mom and whine just before puking down her shirt. So sorry, and hope yours isn't the 4 day bug. At least you didn't have to endure a whole meal at the rainforest cafe?

mosey said...

Oh geez, sweetie. Hope you all get a good night sleep tonight with no vomit. And sweet smelling laundry in the morning.

Connie said...

oh no! That's tough, and yes, kids always go to mom when they feel sick enough to puke. Hope he feels better soon, that the girls and you stay healthy, and that your sweater survives!

Robin said...

Oh man...

Sending good thoughts to your kid and your sweater - you choose in which order ;).

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Kate Coveny Hood said...

Yuck! Eleanor was always my public puker/clothes ruiner. The best whas when she threw up all over a cute little rayon shirt of mine and it literally started shrinking as I was wearing it.

I once wrote a post called Becoming a "Real" Mother: Trial by Vomit. It's one of those things that no one ever tells you about...

Mom24 said...

Oh Jill! Great job saving the tank top, and I hope the sweater makes it too. I know Grady will be fine. :)

Hope no one else gets it.

GO AWAY pink eye!

Linsey said...

The weekly FS blog round-up is posted, and you're on it.

http://www.ramblesandruminations.com/2011/01/weekly-department-of-state-blog-round.html

Let me know if you'd like to be removed.

Jack said...

Oy, I have been the recipient of that gift on more than a few occasions. It is a lovely gift and yes I agree that the smell is the worst part.

American in Norway said...

Oh bless your heart! Hope things are going ok, on your side of the world (besides the barf) It has been a while.

Issas Crazy World said...

OMG! That is the worst. Bleh. I'm sorry friend. Also on the pink eye again. *shudder*

I still have pink eye nightmares. It's been two months.

Laural Out Loud said...

I hate puke. Mason threw up down my nightgown this morning. I was holding him, so when I pulled him away from my body to put him down on the bed, the puke slid even farther down, covering my legs. At least all the other puke that came out of him the rest of the day was caught by a towel.

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