On The Mend ...

I. Feel. Better.

Not great, but better than I have in about two months. Maybe more. Which is saying a lot, considering I didn't realize I was as sick as I was until I started to feel better.

It wasn't a sudden illness. It was a gradual feeling of malaise. Knowing something was just 'off'. I wasn't myself.

I began feeling tired. Not exhausted, just slightly worn out. Like I needed to sit down for a few minutes here and there. When I was a little shaky I chalked it up to too much caffeine. When I couldn't think straight because my head was all foggy, I assumed it was because I just didn't get a good night's sleep. Sometimes it would take me all morning to recover and get going with my day. Some days I never felt better at all.

These symptoms alone would never concern me. But all of the sudden I became aware that I had them all at the same time. That it was taking longer and longer to accomplish normal, everyday tasks. I became grumpy and hot and anxiety ridden. I stopped answering emails, blogging, communicating with family and friends. Something ... was ... wrong.

And then I noticed it. I was craving salt. My hair started falling out again. My face began looking like a pre-teen's with all the acne.

And I realized ... It's my Thyroid.

Of course being new to Virginia I don't have an endocrinologist. So I did what every other busy mother who's stressed over the B.S. in her brand new house would do. I googled my symptoms and self-diagnosed based on WebMd. For the next few days I analyzed how I felt shortly after taking my Thyroid medication. In a nutshell ... lousy. Three days later I went cold turkey off my meds.

Later that afternoon through our insurance company's website, I found an endocrinologist. However, when I called, they had WAY too many openings for me to feel comfortable. I don't know why it bothered me, but I always felt that any specialist worth their weight in gold would be difficult to get in to see. One who had THAT many open appointments couldn't be very good. Right?

Despite my hesitation, I did make the appointment for the following week. Because even a crappy Endo was better than no Endo. And at least he could check my levels and diagnose what was wrong.

A few days after I realized what the underlying problem probably was, I was at a lunch meeting with some mother's from Riley's class. I began over-sharing my ailments, as I often do, when one of the other mom's told me that several years ago she too had Thyroid issues ... which ultimately turned out to be cancer.

I don't know what came over me, but instead of asking her how they diagnosed it, if she was okay, or how she was feeling now, the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "YAY, you have an endocrinologist!"

She gave me his name and less than an hour later I called and made my appointment. Seven weeks out, he MUST be good! Before I hung up, I stressed how sick I was and begged and pleaded with them to put me on the cancellation list. Just in case ...

Sure enough, I got the call last Thursday afternoon. A coveted cancellation. On a Saturday no less. One week after calling to make my initial appointment. I took it and immediately canceled my appointment with the 'stand-in' endocrinologist, who didn't even ask if I wanted to reschedule...

The appointment went well. The doctor ordered a bevy of blood tests. A Thyroid sonogram. And even complimented me for listening to my body and going off my meds. I'm fluctuating between hypothyroid and hyperthyroid and my hormones are totally out of whack. He told me that once we have the blood results later this week we'll be able to begin the game of ping pong. He'll begin by serving me the first dose of new medication and my return will either be staying on that dosage or asking to re-adjust accordingly.

I am giddy with the prospect of feeling GOOD again. Maybe even great. It's been far too long.

At least I know ... the game is on!