DISCLAIMER: The chaos performed here in the Perlman Household is done by trained professionals, with years and years of experience. Do NOT try this at home.
If the newly re-ordered palette of Trex for your deck is delivered to your house early Monday morning and your builder comes in the late morning to rip out half your deck and re-install the new Trex, the dye lot on the new Trex will match the dye lot of at least half of the old Trex.
Not surprisingly, the dye lot of the new Trex delivered is still a slightly different shade than both of the previous palettes of Trex. Now we have three different colors of Trex sitting in our driveway.
When the mold and wet wood from leak in your basement is removed, the pungent smell should begin to dissipate.
Not only is the smell still there, but we now have additional stinky smells in the mix ... including the sanding and painting of the steel beams near the leak and the sealing of a crack in the concrete.
When the brick and siding are removed from your house in order to get to the basement to remove the mold and wet wood, the weather person who predicted sunny weather for the rest of the week while you wait for the hole in your house to be fixed, will be right.
MYTH BUSTED and MURPHY'S LAW CONFIRMED!
Not only will the weatherman be wrong and it will rain all night long, but the wind will also be blowing IN the direction of the large hole ... and the half-assed job to cover the hole may not be good enough to keep the water out.
When receiving an email from the teacher asking you to be the room parent, it is most likely because your reputation preceded you.
You were actually the ONLY one to answer the teacher's email that she blind copied and sent out to eight other parents. Jackass.
Stay tuned for next week's episode where we test out whether or not two girls can keep the spacers in their mouth for required two weeks before they get their palate expander's on. Or whether the Land Rover dashboard warning lights will continue to go off at the most inopportune time.