9.09.2008

Oops. Seriously. Oops.

After five and a half years, it finally happened. The day I had long been dreading. The moment I knew I would forever have to change my ways, modify my verbiage, my awareness of who is around me. I'm really not surprised at all that it happened, only that it took as long as it did. Now I have to do some monitoring. Of myself. And my three and a half year old.

Yesterday, while washing our hands at the dentist office, Sheridan said the 'F' word.

I must admit, I do have a bit of a potty mouth. I have been known to drop a few 'F' bombs here and there. Though, if I'm going to incriminate myself any further, I should mention that my favorite word is 'ass'.

So Sheridan had the infamous teeth cleaning appointment yesterday, and before we went into the room, she said she had to use the bathroom. I'm not a fan of using public restrooms here, but from previous experience (the week prior), I knew that the worst thing in this bathroom would be the overwhelming smell of mothballs that they keep floating in the sink.

When she was done we washed our hands. Knowing there weren't any towels to dry them, I jokingly told her to shake, shake, shake them. She thought that was funny and started to laugh...

Then she put her head down, shook her head, and said, "Oh, they're 'F'-ing wet."

My ears immediately perked up and I felt my face go flush. Not sure I heard her correctly, I did what any good mother would do, I asked her to repeat herself.

She looked straight at me, shook her head again and said, "Mommy, my hands are 'F'-ing wet."

I had to gain my composure quickly because my first reaction was to laugh. But since I needed to be the parent here, I grabbed her little innocent face in my hand and told her that we don't talk like that, and if I ever heard her say that again, I would wash her mouth out with soap.

Mine would then be next.

At least she used the word correctly in the sentence, right?

40 comments:

Shannon said...

I think my oldest was about 4 when she uttered her first swear...

My nephew was over at our house... the kids were playing in the next room and I suddenly heard my nephew yell "You said a bad word!" ...as I made my way to where the kids were, I heard my girl say "Sh!t isn't a bad word...my mommy says it!"

Whoops.

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

LOL uh-oh it's all down hill from here!

Kathryn said...

OMG!!!!! That is hilarious!!!! I am forever reminding hubby to watch what he says cause I just KNOW one of these days the one of the boys will say something horrid during church. Or school. Or somewhere inappropriate.

hehehe
Thanks for the laugh!

Simple Answer said...

Too funny!

American in Norway said...

Well at least it took her 5.5 years... Dane said it at 2... I am sooo proud!
While we were home this summer.. my nephew come over to my sister & I and said "I don't like Eva!" I said "But honey, why?"
"Because she's a DUMB ASS" Hate to admit it...I laughed... I was so surprised...

trashalou said...

No, you are right. How cross can you be? It was all in context.

When my girl was 2.5 she slid head first over the couch onto the floor and all I heard was 'Shit'. Couldn;t tell her off it was perfectly timed!

Colleen said...

Like you said, at least she used it correctly! That is too funny!

karey m. said...

ummm. esme said "what the feck" to my mother-in-law.

not a good. not at all.

{glad you're in the same boat. i will try to replace said expletive with ass.}

Lisa said...

When my then-4-year-old told me her sister was being a B*tch, I had to turn my head and laugh. I was shocked she had sworn, but impressed that she used it correctly. MY husband has the biggest potty mouth ever. MY girls could not grow up in this house and not learn to cuss. They have never done it in pulbic or in front of company. But occasionally a bad word slips out. They get scolded, but if I cannot control my mouth how can I expect some 25 years younger than I to control theirs?

Andrea said...

Sorry, about the language! But it was funny.

I ended up tagging you for a meme. Sorry :)

Donna said...

When my son was about 5, somebody graffiti'ed our neighborhood in Virginia. I was talking to some neighborhood moms, who were all appalled because their kids had been asking why somebody would write "fooock" on the fence. At least, it sounded like fooock the way their kids said it. My son suddenly rounded the corner and shouted "Mom! There was a bad guy in the neigborhood and he wrote 'f&$!' on the fence!!!" He said it just right: perfect intonation, pronunciation, everything. Really, not one of my proudest mothering moments. All I could do was look at the other mothers and exclaim "hey! my boy can read!"

C said...

I think the best part is that she looked right at you and said it as if it was completely acceptable! Very funny! I'm not sure I would've been able to keep from laughing (I have a REALLY hard time with that) but you handled that with such restraint!
~Christy

Mom24 said...

You made it pretty far! She gets points for context and correct tense. She's brilliant!

My home - My life said...

Oh my gosh that is so funny...but not really - haha

I would have been upset too but it would have been difficult to keep my composure!

Tenakim said...

Been there done that! You're preaching to the choir- It happens to the f----n best of us!

Jen said...

I know it was really embarassing but it was funny on this end.
I think that all kids do this. Hayden did for about a week, dropping the f-bomb here and there. Totally my hubby's fault.

Robin said...

That is so something that would happen to me. And then I'd have choked half to death trying not to laugh.

Michelle said...

That's something you'll never forget, for sure!

My oldest son was apparently annoying the crap out of my middle son, so much so, that he finally yelled, "F*cking stop!" in the middle of a restaurant waiting area.

mary said...

This is the funniest thing I have read all week. I swear. I'm dying over here!!

What kills me is how she used it. Adding "ing" to that word is so...ADULT! I mean, she's really trying to use it properly!

My nephew went through the F word phase. He would say, "F---!" in a really exasperated tone, sometimes under his breath if something wasn't working out the way he wanted, or he'd shout it in anger. At which time the room would go completely silent because no one wanted to react.

Hilarious!

Hyphen Mama said...

hahahahahah... that is SO funny. And since I'm a potty mouth, it's pretty certain to happen to me as well. I'm just glad it didn't happen when Wynnie was at parochial preschool!

Hairline Fracture said...

It's always a surprise when they come out with something like that! At least you told her you'd wash your own mouth out (or did I get that wrong?)

Stephanie Smith Norberg said...

OMG I was laughing my ass off (yes, I used the a word). Jill... don't you know you have to save the F bombs for special events? Like when she falls and breaks her 2 front teeth in half? You'd be proud of me... when Becky broke her teeth I only yelled SH** (albeit repeatedly) while I jumped up and down. Time to start censoring yourself! LOL
xx

Rhea said...

oops. lol At least no one else heard her, right?!

Mamasphere said...

Oh, this is too funny! My first reaction would be to laugh, too. My daughter caused quite a stir when she was younger by saying everywhere we went, "I'm not allowed to say that bad word dammit, right mommy?" The looks I got from other parents did NOT make me want to laugh. Thank goodness it wasn't the f word, lol.

And yes, kudos to Sheridan for using the word properly!

Wep said...

OMG too funny! That had me cracking up all day :-) My kid is so going to do that too.

Kelly said...

So funny...I don't know if I would have been able to swallow the laughter...you handled yourself well, Mama!

WheresMyAngels said...

Laughing my butt off! Cuss words were the first words my older two could speak clearly!

I can still remember the first time Cheyenne said the F bomb. She was 3 and in the hospital and they came to mess with her IV and she says "Oh F"

So far my youngest has onlys said "Damn it" cause she was "really mad"

leezee52 said...

When i was little and I talked back to my grandmother she said she would use black tar soap in my mouth. She never did. The only bad words I used then were "You Poopy Head" Funny!

Lee :)

Tara R. said...

It's good that you can see the upside to this... correct grammatical usage. HA! After three years of daily tours on tourist choked roads, I've been known to let the f-bomb drop in front of my 15yo son. He laughs at me and then tries to keep a straight face when I tell him never to use that word himself. Yeah, right.

Maybe the two of us can go to 'Cussers Anonymous.'

julicle said...

OMG... I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. At least you were alone in the bathroom.

Fortunately, years of teaching elementary school have trained me to keep a lid on my potty mouth. But my hubby has been known to drop a few F bombs. The five-year-olds know better than to repeat (I think) but the 2-year-old is another story. It's only a matter of time, and I can only hope we'll be as lucky as you to be behind closed doors when it happens.

Heidi said...

Oh come on mom, what's a little F- between family? She did say it in a private place, well, kinda. It could have been to the dentist. That's when I usually have to pull out that word.

Gill - That British Woman said...

Oh those firsts..............this is not one of those things you want to celebrate!!!!

Gill in Canada

Gill - That British Woman said...

Oh those firsts..............this is not one of those things you want to celebrate!!!!

Gill in Canada

Rela Pantaleon-Manigsaca said...

hmm...at least she had a good deed for the day - opened her mouth for the dental appointment.

-Bridget said...

Doh! At least she could have saved the word for the dental chair, lol.

angie said...

Using the word in the right context IS important. I would have laughed. I know it.

The Long and the Short of it said...

There'd be no entertainment without moments like these. I'm just glad that it is your kid providing the entertainment, not mine... at least not yet! :)

anymommy said...

Absolutely! That's too funny. I have a terrible mouth as well and I'm just waiting for one of my little parrots to bust out with 'damn it all to hell.'

Michelle said...

Isn't it so hard NOT to laugh at them when they innocently use a "bad" word, especially when it's used correctly in a sentence! LOL

Sometimes when I'm watching sports I've been known to utter son of a b*tch...but then I realized I better stop doing that. One time I started saying it "son of a!" and I stopped there, well Kayla finished my sentence for me with a perfectly said "b*tch!" Oops!

Kim said...

Oh boy.. the f bomb has been thrown around by my almost four year old since he was two.. hahahahah

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