Ahhhhhh the joys

As I sit here this afternoon frustrated with the State Department for screwing up our travel orders for the 4th time this month, I remember Chevy Chase driving around the round-about in the movie, European Vacation. "Hey everyone, there's Big Ben." We're apparently stuck in the same round-about; e-mailing Washington, waiting for a response, e-mailing Washington, waiting for a response. You can see what needs to be done and how to get out. But ... you ... just ... can't.

This next move to Chennai will be our fourth in the past 8 years, and every time we go through this it's as if it's the first one the State Department has EVER done. Once you find out where you're going, you fill out a sheet of paper that states every piece of information about your move. The irony is that NOBODY bothers to really read it. Of course you can't leave your current post without the correct travel orders, which requires you (in theory the employee, but in reality the wife) to continually e-mail HR, State Department headquarters, travel technicians, transportation, and management. I'd pull my hair out if my thyroid wasn't already taking care of that for me!

Many years ago I read this joke about Government workers. Someone who worked in an Embassy definitely wrote this. It always gives me a chuckle.

My Dog Is Better Than Your Dog!

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second was an accountant, the third a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-Square, do your stuff". T-Square trotted over to the desk, took out some paper and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff". Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff". Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the government worker, and said, "OK, Mr. Government guy, tell us what your dog can do". The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff". Coffee Break slowly got off his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker's compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.