3.23.2009

Not The Phrase I Expected To Hear...

I am angry. Scratch that, I am livid. I am beyond angry. I am devastated. Not at the end result, but rather the phrase that I heard at the doctor's office today during my final ultrasound.

"Your little ****** looks very good."

"WHAT did you just say?" I surprisingly asked the OB/GYN. "Did you just tell me the sex of the baby?"

She quickly backtracked. "No, no, I don't actually KNOW what it is ... it's just what I THINK it is..." As if that was any better of a response.

I immediately burst into tears. Now I've had my guesses and Matt has had his, and one of us is obviously right. While most of our friends all want to know what they're having for planning purposes, we both just REALLY didn't want to know until the baby was born. It was one of our most favorite parts about the pregnancy. We enjoyed teasing each other about his girl, or my boy. We've finally been sitting down and going through baby name books, trying to find both girl and boy's names that fit.

I couldn't contain my anger and I yelled at the doctor. I told her how thrilled I was at the sex of the baby, but how absolutely reprehensible it was for her to tell me. It's illegal here for them to tell me the sex. It never even crossed my mind to remind her again that I didn't want to know. By law, she wasn't supposed to tell me.

I stormed out of her office and I went to the registration counter where I told my PR contact how upset I was. Despite the fact that I'm an American, if she even remotely thought I wanted to know, she should have at least asked.

I called Matt on my way out of the hospital and cried. I cried so hard that he couldn't understand a word I said and had to wait until I calmed down enough to tell him what happened. He smartly reminded me that the medical personnel here is usually only right about 50% of the time, so there's still a chance that it could be the opposite of what the doctor told me. Which based on experience is very true.

I didn't tell him what the doctor said. Even if she is right, I still want him to enjoy the surprise. We're still coming up with names for both genders. I'm still going to buy plain white onesies to take with me to the hospital. And I'm still happy ... because regardless of the sex of the baby, in about 7.5 weeks our family will welcome a bouncing baby ******.

Don't even ask!

28 comments:

American in Norway said...

Oh honey... I am sorry she spoiled the surprise... but then again she could be wrong..(just keep telling yourself that...)

7.5 weeks? Holy... boy has this gone fast! (easy for me to say!)

Donna said...

I'm sorry, too. Maybe this'll make you feel better: I NEVER wanted to be surprised. Never understood wanting a surprise, always wanted to know who was in there. So in Kazakhstan with my second, I asked and they told me I was having a little girl. Such joy! Such excitement! My friends threw me a pink shower.

Then I flew to the States at 34 weeks, and the ultrasound technician took all of 2 seconds to determine she was a he. Ummm... oops.

I didn't really care either way, but it was strange to know the little girl we'd already named wasn't coming.

Maybe your doctor is wrong. Or maybe she's right. Either way, the day you meet that little baby will still be perfect. And hopefully your story will seem funny a few years down the road.

trashalou said...

Uhoh! I bet your doctor is waiting for 'the' phonecall now. Pleased you are maintaining the mystery for the rest of your family and who knows? It may all still be a surprise and be twins!!!

Crystal said...

Oh no!!! I'm sorry as well! You are right to try to go on as if you don't know. Things can get missed or added very easy on ultrasound.

Simple Answer said...

Aw jeez. I've got a long list of people I want to kill today - and that doc just made it!

I think Matt is right - you just never know. God has that twisted sense of humor.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I'm sorry! That doctor needs some serious lessons on keeping her mouth shut! I always wanted to know but I know for a lot of people not knowing makes it half the fun of being pregnant in the first place.

I'm sorry she ruined that part of it for you. But 7.5 weeks! Wahoo you're almost there!

OHmommy said...

Oh no... I would have be so angry myself. But she could be wrong. Olnly 7 more weeks to go... I can't wait myself to find out what you are having.

Kat said...

Oh, Jill, I am so sorry. I can just imagine how angry you are. But keep in mind the possibility of them being wrong. And that they really don't know. It will still be a surprise. A surprise if the doc is wrong. And a surprise if the doc is right.

Z. Marie said...

Oh, how horrible! But of course the doctor could be wrong.
I've had five ultrasounds, and my doctor still can't decide whether I'm having a boy or a girl. Of course, back in the U.S. they'll likely be able to tell right away -- or not. I don't care either way. But I imagine it would be worse to NOT want to know and then find out.

Jen said...

that is terrible, just terrible!

Suzanne said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Jill. I understand you anger. I never wanted to know either. The mystery is the beauty of the whole experience. But please don't let the doctors mistake ruin the next 7 1/2 weeks. I'm glad you haven't told Matt what the doctor suspected (remember, only right 50% of the time). I'm so sorry this happened to you.

- Suzanne

Tenakim said...

Oh, you poor thing! I agree with your husband- they may very well be wrong, but I acually had a friend that her dr. ALWAYS referred to every baby as a boy- and it disturbed her- she thought it was him slipping- she now has 3 girls- so I guess he was being honest.

Hang in there!

3 Peas in a Pod said...

Awww Jill I'm so sorry the doctor did that to you. I know you really really like surprises. I'm shocked that the dr even ventured a guess b/c I remember that picture you posted awhile back saying it was illegal to find out the sex. Speaking from experience though, doctors aren't always right...especially where you live! I wouldn't even count on what she said to be true.

Much love from NJ,
Sue
xoxo

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Oh Jill that STINKS!

I can't believe you are only 7.5 weeks away, that did seem to go by fast, as a reader at least. You probably feel like it has been FOREVER!

I guess you can never be 100% sure, especially in India.

Mom24 said...

I'm so, so sorry. That was a terrible thing to do. Matt is right though, she could definitely be wrong. I think you'd be smart to plan for either anyway. Again, I am very sorry.

Broski said...

Jilly, this is the first Indian OB/GYN to make my permanent shit list. Balls? Boobies? Whichever are bouncing in the end won't make a difference. I'll still be a loving uncle!

Joyce said...

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about this. Being one of the other few who wanted to be surprised, I can feel your disappointment...but try to think of it as another person guessing the sex. You are so strong from spoiling it from your hubby and the rest of us. I wish I could make you feel better in some way, but I know I can't...just try to remain calm and focus on all the things you have to do in the weeks ahead. Maybe it will get your mind off it!

Joyce

Hairline Fracture said...

I'm so sorry she blurted it out like that when you were wanting a total surprise. It does sound like she very well could be wrong--and I applaud your decision to keep the baby's sex a surprise for everyone else. In a few weeks, your baby will be born and you'll be focused on him or her instead of this!

Nap Warden said...

What a stupid mistake for her to make! So sorry...we did the same with both our babies. Although, I knew inside that The Little Man was a boy;)

Ashley said...

It sucks she told you, but like your husband said...you still basically don't know, right? I mean, if they're *off* a lot, it's still pretty chancy. *hugs*

Shannon said...

Oh, no. I'm so sorry! Sheesh, doc... you'd think she'd have known better!

Others have said it already... but there is a chance that the doc was wrong!

taxitalk said...

My mom does ultra sound and she never tells anybody nothing, even if they want to know

Michelle said...

With my first, we wanted to be surprised, but at the ultrasound, my husband asks the tech if she already knows what the sex is. Her response: "Oh yeah, no question there!" Obviously, it ended up being a boy. I was so pissed.

C.C. said...

Oh, good grief...if it isn't hard enough being in the *@&^& third world (I'm having one of those days...I know that sounds harsh). Sorry you had to go through that, Jill.

Kirsten said...

Man, that sucks!!! We were surprised for both of my pregnancies. I think my Indian mother in law would have put a curse on me if we had found out.

Maybe she'll be wrong.

anymommy said...

I am so sorry. Truly. I get it 100%. This is our last too and our only surprise and I would be devastated if there was a slip. And yes, everything everyone else said and of course it could be wrong and you will enjoy your baby just as much...it still sucks.

Love from here.

Mrs4444 said...

He's right; they're probably wrong. Or right. Good thing they don't know what they're doing over there, which her telling you is a perfect example of. (sorry for the poor grammar) But still, I'd be pissed.

Michelle said...

Oh I'm so so sorry she slipped up like that!! I really hope she was wrong and didn't get a great look. That was one of my fears while pg w/both Kayla and Lucas. I made sure at every appt (I had more than 1 u/s with each of them) to remind the tech we DID NOT want to know the sex. With Lucas someone did say "he" but then claimed they just meant that generically. I had another friend look at my u/s and say 'so you're having a boy?' and then realizing the shocked look on my face said she was just guessing. It kinda did ruin the surprise with the u/s picture they gave me. I'm sorry you've had this part of the pregnancy taken away from you...at least you're still able to keep it a surprise from everyone else.

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