tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post8993321347988355541..comments2024-03-05T19:56:36.517-06:00Comments on The Perlman Update: Have You Had "The Talk?"Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16493268452074516009noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-53573391043565766512010-10-10T01:50:32.398-06:002010-10-10T01:50:32.398-06:00I remember when my boys were younger wanting to he...I remember when my boys were younger wanting to help them be cautious without instilling fear (especially since one of them was very anxious as a child.) <br /><br />One thing we did was coach them, "If you can't find mommy, then go up to another mommy and tell her, 'Hey, I can't find MY mommy!'" (I figure, other moms with little kids are likely to be the most helpful/least dangerous.)<br /><br />Another thing we talked about was how we DON'T keep secrets. If someone says, "This is a secret. . . don't tell your parents" -- then you MUST come tell mommy and daddy right away. Even if it is a friend. Even if it is a teacher. Anytime someone says don't tell your parents, you need to automatically tell us. And, they've followed through on that, though thankfully, the "secrets" they've told us have been mundane.<br /><br />The other day we were at a park and my 11 y/o was teaching another little boy "secret ninja stuff." As we were leaving he said, "Remember what I told you -- it's a secret. Don't tell anyone!" I reminded him of our "no secrets" rule, and he quickly said, "Well, tell your mom. . . but don't tell anyone else about our secret ninja training!"TulipGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491713586488210547noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-84914089941433259642010-10-01T03:11:03.889-06:002010-10-01T03:11:03.889-06:00Yup, we know The Talk all too well. We have to hav...Yup, we know The Talk all too well. We have to have it each time we go back to the States for a visit, and as the kids get older the why and why can't I questions get harder to answer. Sigh...<br /><br />Today though we're back home in Israel after a quick vacation to Holland and my almost 7 year old just went to her friend's house (in the building) alone, with instructions to return if the other girl wasn't home.<br /><br />Oh, and my son the goalie apparently hurt his hand AGAIN during a soccer game this morning, Jay has him at the doctor now, from where he will hopefully be returning without a cast or another set of x-rays. Welcome home folks...<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br />My photography is available for purchase - visit <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/aroundtheisland" rel="nofollow">Around the Island Photography</a> and bring home something beautiful today!Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02409530202277375625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-38572242492819017222010-10-01T03:05:43.905-06:002010-10-01T03:05:43.905-06:00Yes! Great job touching on some of these issues. ...Yes! Great job touching on some of these issues. I need to be reminded of this in a few years when we are home from our next overseas post. Living overseas is so different for kids. So much freedom on one hand. Right now Addie is terrified of all the Filipinos who want to touch and go gaga over her all the time so she sticks to me like glue. For now, that is.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05048354315046501082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-85444756609558898172010-09-30T09:34:16.332-06:002010-09-30T09:34:16.332-06:00Actually it's nice to hear that in some ways y...Actually it's nice to hear that in some ways you feel your kids are safer abroad because all you hear is all the scary news from Mexico, etc and I keep wondering what I'm thinking sometimes.Bfileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17657766918735380467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-65232610796309997712010-09-30T09:29:16.767-06:002010-09-30T09:29:16.767-06:00Going to America brings out the Mother Bear in me ...Going to America brings out the Mother Bear in me too. There are real benefits to overseas portions of this lifestyle. That being said, we had the Nairobi version of the "Stranger Danger" talk. But ours was more along the lines of "How to Get Out Fast If Someone Puts A Gun To The Car Window". My biggest fear is that we'll get carjacked and the thugs won't know there are kids in the back. Or worse yet, the boys won't get out fast enough b/c of some favorite toy they won't leave behind. <br /><br />Yea. I guess living overseas does have it's own forms of Stranger Danger too, doesn't it? Better keep my Mother Bear claws sharpened too.<br /><br />NKLLeesOnTheGohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15324645866349920944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-67520092399997414942010-09-30T07:50:10.415-06:002010-09-30T07:50:10.415-06:00Nicholas "prank" called 911 once..thankf...Nicholas "prank" called 911 once..thankfully they gave him a pass as he was only 6 months old...Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545024934754374573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-30109831857806249702010-09-30T04:01:52.456-06:002010-09-30T04:01:52.456-06:00You can't be too careful, although you don'...You can't be too careful, although you don't want to be hovering all the time. My 14-year-old had a friend over and he didn't even know his own phone number!!betty-NZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03950300478215339641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-49722738722540060772010-09-29T18:38:20.610-06:002010-09-29T18:38:20.610-06:00We've had to have the talk many times because ...We've had to have the talk many times because our daughter has always been too friendly with strangers. In FL, we lived by a park and my mom used to take her for walks there. Nia would talk to every stranger there, especially the ones with the dogs (surprise, surprise!) I was particularly freaked out when my mom told me of Nia chatting with a stranger again (even though we had told her not to) and telling him "Oh, I live right over there and my Mommy and Daddy are at work." <br /><br />I think the stranger danger is hard for kids to grasp because on the one hand we want them to be friendly and nice to people, even if they are meeting them for the first time (strangers to them) and on the other we don't want them to talk to these other people that we see as strangers but they see as magnets (a person with a cute puppy).Daniela Swiderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15375056786777183752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-8224224238880676022010-09-29T16:11:00.803-06:002010-09-29T16:11:00.803-06:00I know, I know. This is a hard talk. My boys alw...I know, I know. This is a hard talk. My boys always think everyone is their friend so it is very difficult for me to get through to them. I just have to keep repeating it I guess. <br />Plus, I don't want to scare them so badly that they walk through life in fear, ya know? It is a delicate balance. Still, it has to be done.Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14339665205284492242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-83250835445659624322010-09-29T15:18:55.927-06:002010-09-29T15:18:55.927-06:00Wow. I have been thinking about this too. Thanks...Wow. I have been thinking about this too. Thanks. Luckily both my kids are young enough that they still stick pretty close, but that day is coming soon that they will want to go off on their own.<br />I had to laugh at "front-tushie". My younger sister (by 12 years) used to call it her "front-bum". Nicknames for body parts still makes me giggle.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17988224004955953763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-26066262922698354442010-09-29T13:29:00.468-06:002010-09-29T13:29:00.468-06:00I think about this (and worry about it) a lot. Oli...I think about this (and worry about it) a lot. Oliver is so behind on his ability to process general complex ideas, I have no idea how to go about explaining strangers. The good news is that he's not overly friendly and would probably freak out if anyone tried to touch him. But I do need to come up with a way to start instilling these ideas... It will be easier with the twins. Right now, I keep it simple with "I need to be able to see you - I don't know the people around us so you need to be next to me." But I think they're ready for more specifics.Kate Coveny Hoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18006589284938683965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-14377263316034308122010-09-29T12:09:30.849-06:002010-09-29T12:09:30.849-06:00We've talked of strangers, and not opening doo...We've talked of strangers, and not opening doors, nor giving info on the phone, and I've always been strict about them staying with me in stores and other places (if you can't see me, I can't see you, and if I can't see you, I can't help you... it works). What scared me though is the running out into traffic. We were always in a walled compound, school, club, etc. Family lives with wide open yards! Kids had no street instincts and were fast runners. We actually have a front yard and road now, and I think they're getting better.Conniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03667481504650498976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-28775772469670484412010-09-29T11:47:30.966-06:002010-09-29T11:47:30.966-06:00That's a tough one. Good for you for doing it....That's a tough one. Good for you for doing it. Now go have a nice glass of wine. Well earned.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01790291204289635403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-7947147928652165442010-09-29T11:25:45.637-06:002010-09-29T11:25:45.637-06:00Gah, that must have been a nightmare. I can't ...Gah, that must have been a nightmare. I can't even imagine not having this stuff just be knowledge from birth on. ha. But I'm from Los Angeles. I'm trained to not trust anybody. ;)<br /><br />Um, you might want to warn them that calling 911 unless it's a serious need, means they may not believe you if you needed them. Somehow that worked in my girls heads. Neither has ever called for kicks.Issahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11309906249557761472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-37039092131506240692010-09-29T11:17:43.113-06:002010-09-29T11:17:43.113-06:00The Talk never stops ... as my kids headed off for...The Talk never stops ... as my kids headed off for college a few weeks ago we were discussing the danger of leaving drinks unattended ... or accepting a drink from someone that you didn't watch being poured. It's hard being a mom ...Twenty Four At Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16387384885579358908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-22899193993131716752010-09-29T08:41:07.042-06:002010-09-29T08:41:07.042-06:00this is all good advice. i need to go over this so...this is all good advice. i need to go over this some more!Anna Whiston-Donaldsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14921348961654008115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-25084740177680490952010-09-29T07:44:07.092-06:002010-09-29T07:44:07.092-06:00goodness, how scary, but good convo to have. I jus...goodness, how scary, but good convo to have. I just ventured into the world of "who can touch your private parts?" Good times. And who can blame the kids for being confused? It's confusing.Bfileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17657766918735380467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-62353109620348813162010-09-29T06:34:57.335-06:002010-09-29T06:34:57.335-06:00When I was little we had a peeping tom. That tota...When I was little we had a peeping tom. That totally affected my being afraid of strangers. Good show. Isn't parenthood fun.Bubbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08367805915437903680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-3974986193739343162010-09-29T06:22:14.733-06:002010-09-29T06:22:14.733-06:00Oh wow. WOW.
Not helpful to you at ALL will my c...Oh wow. WOW.<br /><br />Not helpful to you at ALL will my comment be, but the first thing I thought of after reading this (and Donna's contribution) was:<br /><br />Gosh, I'm sure glad my boys are old! <br /><br />(Sorry. No help. But at least it's empathy?)<br /><br />It gets better, Momma! The older the children get, the easier life becomes!A Daring Adventurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10526170899156150772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-87282229123560736962010-09-29T04:39:18.066-06:002010-09-29T04:39:18.066-06:00It's great that you recognized how different t...It's great that you recognized how different things are for the girls here and knew to address all those things. Wow! You're back in Kansas, eh?<br /><br />Glad it wasn't the <i>other</i> talk. :)Mom24https://www.blogger.com/profile/00061152728345287775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-55548704095011466922010-09-29T02:00:20.122-06:002010-09-29T02:00:20.122-06:00Wow I had no idea things were so different re: str...Wow I had no idea things were so different re: strangers in your other posts! Interesting! That's really great that they know your phone number and address already. That talk must have been even more scary for you, since you did it alone. Hugs! I'm actually really glad you wrote this - obviously this particular talk is a ways off for me, since our oldest is two, but the internet strangers - the weirdos - is what made me make my blog private yesterday. I am going to write about it soon and I'd really LOVE your honest opinion on it! Of course! Hope you have a good day today Jill! xoChristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05615149112130152767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-13648000480836843312010-09-29T00:50:44.826-06:002010-09-29T00:50:44.826-06:00So true, all of it! Now I think I need to do my ow...So true, all of it! Now I think I need to do my own blog post on the topic, rather than write 950 words in your comments. <br /><br />I had such trouble when we were on home leave, because my kids would take off in Target or the grocery store, with no worries. They'd run out in the street. My family couldn't understand that this was normal for the kids - it wasn't just a case of kids misbehaving. They had such freedom in China that they couldn't suddenly flip that switch.<br /><br />Another story: When Shay was 5 or 6, and we were in the US, we had the stranger danger conversation. A few hours later he came in with an advertising circular. "Where'd you get that?" "The guy outside gave it to me." "That guy? He's a stranger." "No he isn't mom. He has pizza coupons!" Arghhh.Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06950448336879028108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-87101573433252020692010-09-29T00:41:13.108-06:002010-09-29T00:41:13.108-06:00Being a mom is so hard isn't it? I'm scare...Being a mom is so hard isn't it? I'm scared now. Worried too. And telling you yet again that I admire how courageous you are.<br /><br />Good luck, and God bless your family.Ramit Groverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09969175001122372257noreply@blogger.com