tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post4540566526652423680..comments2024-03-05T19:56:36.517-06:00Comments on The Perlman Update: P P P Poker Face P P Poker FaceJillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16493268452074516009noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-88331710475042818872010-09-24T11:43:40.061-06:002010-09-24T11:43:40.061-06:00What a horrible thing to happen on her first days ...What a horrible thing to happen on her first days in school. Perhaps that little girl didn't mean those words quite as harshly as they came out? I'm always the optimist. <br /><br />I feel fairly confident in saying that Riley will find a group of friends that will be perfectly suited to her and will make her feel a part of rather than apart from the rest of the kids. Its soo hard, I know, to watch and hear about it happen to our children, but she will survive and maybe she'll come out of it a stronger person for it. Hugs to you both!CaraBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04614627167922944626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-77664312828190326242010-09-14T11:13:43.886-06:002010-09-14T11:13:43.886-06:00I sympathize. We are going through a similar troub...I sympathize. We are going through a similar trouble. But with mean boys. It's hard to tell the kids to be nice while wanting to kick some a**.<br />Good luck.I'll Take Mine...https://www.blogger.com/profile/12422853320873218506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-60685676953410563972010-09-13T20:34:36.449-06:002010-09-13T20:34:36.449-06:00You did exactly what I would do - run through all ...You did exactly what I would do - run through all the possibilities of what you could say and then find different interpretations for what that girl said...just to take the sting out of it for your daughter's sake. Girls can be tough, but they change their minds a lot. So, who knows? Tomorrow or the week after the 'buddy' could change her tune. Parenting. It can be so hard sometimes. I can only imagine how hard it must be without your husband to bounce stuff off of. <br /><br />I'm rambling here...<br /><br />I hope you and your daughter have a good week. :)Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01897963154223770756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-17398973674014990722010-09-13T13:29:54.565-06:002010-09-13T13:29:54.565-06:00Oh Jill....that made my heart hurt for you & f...Oh Jill....that made my heart hurt for you & for Riley. Why are girls so dang mean? We were just having a VERY similar conversation with Julia last night. And it's so hard. You just want to protect them & keep them innocent, (and go beat up that little girl for being mean to your little girl) but instead have to help them be tough & handle the situation on their own. So sorry!Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17769967354682232429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-18782775821895114242010-09-13T09:48:48.495-06:002010-09-13T09:48:48.495-06:00I know what you're going through! My kids hav...I know what you're going through! My kids have been in two homes, two states and two schools in the past year. I think you gave her the best advice a mom can. It's not going to be easy and there might be days of crying (and my heart breaks at the thought of a child enduring the cruelty of other kids).<br /><br />You are also going to have to endure some of this for yourself too. It's been six months since we moved here and I haven't met a single person I'd really call a friend yet. I've met people but no one to call and say "let's go shopping or to the movies". And it sucks big time. (I am also an introvert which doesn't help. At All.)<br /><br />Just keep doing what you are doing. You'll get her (and you) through it.<br /><br />And if all else fails, chocolate always eases the pain! :)Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342109839956458589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-90277274057446508902010-09-12T09:31:30.077-06:002010-09-12T09:31:30.077-06:00Oh Jill - I wish you were moving in HERE right now...Oh Jill - I wish you were moving in HERE right now. I remember being the new girl and inviting new friends over to play and never getting a return invitation. And my heart bleeds for the the little I girl I was back then when I remember the birthday party that I wasn't invited to (by a girl who had previously been invited to my house of course). <br /><br />It's so hard. But maybe that's what we have to go through, in order to have the right attitude and ability to shake off the slights. And to learn how to think "screw them - they're not good enough for me anyway." <br /><br />Through our own insecurities we learn to look back and understand that it was "their" insecurities that were the root of the problem to begin with. That little girl probably felt like she was trying hard enough to make her own friends and fit in and to take on the responsibility of ANOTHER girl was overwhelming. The way she handled it? Not so great - but at least we can assume that her mean words were based in selfish insecurity and not intentional cruelty. One would hope....Kate Coveny Hoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18006589284938683965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-18694793691089389742010-09-11T13:45:00.667-06:002010-09-11T13:45:00.667-06:00I've been in Riley's position alot..I thin...I've been in Riley's position alot..I think around 17 times. It doesn't get easier but sometimes you end up finding special people who accept you even though you are the new kid. It is definitely hard but when she grows up, she will be a better person for it. This, I know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-86803914740618895222010-09-10T21:12:40.546-06:002010-09-10T21:12:40.546-06:00Jill, I teared up reading this post because I am f...Jill, I teared up reading this post because I am fearing these moments with my daughter as she grows and as we move around the world forcing her to be the new kid over and over too. It's so hard to know if we are doing the right thing and when is the right time to just stop and settle in somewhere for good. Luckily you have a strong resilient beautiful daughter who has amazing stories to tell about her life overseas. I bet her little buddy can't say she's lived in India. Just wait for show and tell day.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05048354315046501082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-9703222861152119032010-09-10T18:57:12.104-06:002010-09-10T18:57:12.104-06:00I think it is so hard as a parent to watch our kid...I think it is so hard as a parent to watch our kids go thru things like this socially. (My daughter just turned 21 and it NEVER ends with girls - ugh!) Yes, we have to stay out of it and let them find their way, but it isn't easy to sit by and watch. I feel for you.<br /><br />I have been going through a tough couple weeks, but school begins next week here. I would LOVE to get together for coffee or a lunch. Let me know what your schedule is like and we will set something up.Twenty Four At Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16387384885579358908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-11535805952502571032010-09-10T18:57:05.936-06:002010-09-10T18:57:05.936-06:00I think it is so hard as a parent to watch our kid...I think it is so hard as a parent to watch our kids go thru things like this socially. (My daughter just turned 21 and it NEVER ends with girls - ugh!) Yes, we have to stay out of it and let them find their way, but it isn't easy to sit by and watch. I feel for you.<br /><br />I have been going through a tough couple weeks, but school begins next week here. I would LOVE to get together for coffee or a lunch. Let me know what your schedule is like and we will set something up.Twenty Four At Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16387384885579358908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-23019948114193709692010-09-10T18:56:55.972-06:002010-09-10T18:56:55.972-06:00I think it is so hard as a parent to watch our kid...I think it is so hard as a parent to watch our kids go thru things like this socially. (My daughter just turned 21 and it NEVER ends with girls - ugh!) Yes, we have to stay out of it and let them find their way, but it isn't easy to sit by and watch. I feel for you.<br /><br />I have been going through a tough couple weeks, but school begins next week here. I would LOVE to get together for coffee or a lunch. Let me know what your schedule is like and we will set something up.Twenty Four At Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16387384885579358908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-23978782766285770672010-09-10T13:59:57.527-06:002010-09-10T13:59:57.527-06:00What a mean thing to have happen! Just makes me wa...What a mean thing to have happen! Just makes me want to go shove that kid in the bushes for your Riley!<br /><br />Seriously, why are little girls so mean to each other? Is it because their mothers are mean? I try to be nice, just for that very reason, but then I hear stuff like this and it makes me want to not be so nice. Know what I mean?Mommy, I'm Homehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00390940917560439493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-40972118279218420662010-09-10T11:57:01.074-06:002010-09-10T11:57:01.074-06:00Aw friend, I'm so sorry. For both of you. I kn...Aw friend, I'm so sorry. For both of you. I know how hard this one is. I still haven't made friends here. It's been three years. It's so hard as an adult. Luckily, I know it's easier as a kid. I hope Riley makes a great friend really quick. <br /><br />Hugs to you both. <br /><br />Mean girls...sigh, she'll learn it soon. They exist. As long as she stands true to who she is, I'd bet she'll be okay.Issahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11309906249557761472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-22856966914482262582010-09-10T11:07:35.319-06:002010-09-10T11:07:35.319-06:00You sure are a good mom, Jill. Tough stuff handle...You sure are a good mom, Jill. Tough stuff handled with finesse, honesty and such tenderness.<br /><br />And for the record, I think all the girls not lining up to play with her at recess are missing out. Same goes for their mommies & potential coffee dates.<br /><br />NKLLeesOnTheGohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15324645866349920944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-69833326317681444462010-09-10T10:57:01.813-06:002010-09-10T10:57:01.813-06:00Hopefully she'll come home today with a gaggle...Hopefully she'll come home today with a gaggle of new friends. 7yo's usually manage to bounce back, but I sooooooo know what you mean. Hey! Do you have time sometime this month to get together? Maybe a Sat. or Sun. afternoon and I can bring my boys down to the beach?I can't find my bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02613321200230079978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-77474131289434772692010-09-10T10:07:23.738-06:002010-09-10T10:07:23.738-06:00my heart breaks for your little girl. I was always...my heart breaks for your little girl. I was always the ugly duckling outcast in school and know that kids can be so mean! They love to push thier boundaries and social norms at the expense of others feelings and it sucks to be on the short end of the straw. I hope that she makes some new friends soon and people realize what a cool friend she is! I hope that you make some new friends too- its hard to feel all alone and to make someplace feel like home without a support system!rachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09385817990235633378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-14805171313133214472010-09-10T10:00:37.774-06:002010-09-10T10:00:37.774-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.mosey (kim)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14990626697257089908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-68023169058781816052010-09-10T10:00:32.884-06:002010-09-10T10:00:32.884-06:00Although it's a different situation altogether...Although it's a different situation altogether, my daughter is an only and has had to cope with being on the outside a lot - and ohhhh it's hard. I think you handled it perfectly although my impulse would also have been to stomp all over the other girl.<br /><br />We've had lots of conversations about how not everyone is going to be your friend and that we have to be okay with that. But when you're six or seven, it's slim consolation.<br /><br />Keeping my fingers crossed that the perfect friends present themselves.mosey (kim)https://www.blogger.com/profile/14990626697257089908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-51839514115874019022010-09-10T09:26:56.043-06:002010-09-10T09:26:56.043-06:00Oh, that does really suck.
Nia (our daughter) ha...Oh, that does really suck. <br /><br />Nia (our daughter) had a few "mean girl experiences" as well. One girl asked Nia to give her $5 to be her friend. I was just floored when I heard that. And my poor girl wanted to be her friend so bad that she was asking me for the cash. Where do kids get this stuff? Then, of course, there were the girls who didn't want to be friends with our daughter because she didn't go to church or just because. It hurts so much to hear these stories from your kid but good for you for giving that mean little girl the benefit of the doubt (though I doubt she deserved it). <br /><br />I sometimes wonder what makes a kid mean. Do they get it from their parents? I try to teach my girl to be nice to everyone. I just hope it sticks.Daniela Swiderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15375056786777183752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-91752675750778008932010-09-10T08:28:38.390-06:002010-09-10T08:28:38.390-06:00Poor kiddo. Our kids have been the newbies a few ...Poor kiddo. Our kids have been the newbies a few times and it was so hard. They made true friends in a few days but it is just so darn hard to watch. Sending lots of love.Jill Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09590654570280014487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-38616353316911140342010-09-10T08:23:24.154-06:002010-09-10T08:23:24.154-06:00Aw Jill! That's so hard. :-( You know, for wha...Aw Jill! That's so hard. :-( You know, for what it's worth, I was the new girl a LOT when I was young and as difficult as it was at times, in retrospect I'm glad I had that experience. I think it made me more flexible and adaptable, stronger and braver and better at taking care of myself and rolling with the punches than I would have been without all those moves and all those changes. So while this is hard for your sweet sensitive little ones right now, remember that it's not all bad. That goes for how YOU are feeling as the new girl as well! Adjusting to a new place is hard, and lonely, but you are totally up for the challenge and will be a better person for it. And before you know it you'll be totally booked up and wishing you had more time to yourself, I promise!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16960279350838072077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-82340150611572664452010-09-10T08:09:59.056-06:002010-09-10T08:09:59.056-06:00Hugs.Hugs.OHmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12712111068636100187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-6463249189694419572010-09-10T07:53:36.404-06:002010-09-10T07:53:36.404-06:00I don't know that it is any consolation, but b...I don't know that it is any consolation, but being in/around DC isn't necessarily any easier. In fact, the adjustment from CA to VA has been much harder than I expected, particularly for Kelsey. She hasn't encountered Riley's scenario, but has yet to feel like she has a friend and is stressing each day that she won't have one by Halloween (her personal deadline). Hopefully that girl is the exception, not the rule?Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14545024934754374573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-9964482287259647912010-09-10T07:50:43.931-06:002010-09-10T07:50:43.931-06:00Oh, this struck a chord with me, too. In fact, it&...Oh, this struck a chord with me, too. In fact, it's one of my big fears about the FS- doing this to the kids over and over again. <br /><br />I'm so sorry this happened to Riley and know how much it hurts mom, too. (I don't have school aged kids yet, but is it worth just letting the school know that this child perhaps shouldn't be a new-kid welcomer, as she didn't even give Riley a full day of companionship?)<br /><br />As someone else mentioned, you might also try Mothers and More, which is the group I joined when I moved to NY. You could find a playgroup for Grady which might really help. <br /><br />Wish I could invite you over for coffee.Bfileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17657766918735380467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3248196462677139259.post-27629075296494385642010-09-10T07:46:29.761-06:002010-09-10T07:46:29.761-06:00That is truly heartbreaking. For both of you. I ...That is truly heartbreaking. For both of you. I really hope Riley will find friends who appreciate her, and you as well.<br />Life is hard enough without dealing with meany meanertons. I hope today will bring more smiles than tears.<br />Lots of loves, hugs, and finding (nice, amazing) friends, vibes your way.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17988224004955953763noreply@blogger.com