The Perlman Update

Just Call Her ...

2012-02-01T14:50:00.004-05:00

... brace face.

She's loving every single minute of it ... right now. Though the pain is slowly starting to get to her. Give it another day or two and I'm not so sure she'll be smiling this big.

The before, during, and after shots of getting the braces on.
Total time? About 15 minutes! Dr. C's office rocks!

Casa de Perlman ... Take 9

2012-01-27T14:12:00.006-05:00

In the fifteen years that Matt and I have been together, we've lived in 9 different houses. It truly is of the many perks of moving around as often as we do. And while that may sound awful to most, I don't mind it ... in fact, I'll actually admit (in a hushed tone of course) that I like it. Sure, in the heat of the packing and labeling and schlepping and inventorying, I may be a bit moody. But when offered another chance to design and decorate a new space, the grumpiness fades away and the excitement begins. Who doesn't love a fresh start?

I've given many guided tours of our homes over the years. From our two homes in Muscat, Oman. To our house in Tel Aviv, Israel. To the two houses we lived in in in Chennai, India. And onto our tiny rental cottage in Newport Beach, CA.

However, it's been quite awhile since we've had the pleasure of furnishing a house with all of our own belongings ... and as you can see from our latest tour, it's totally been worth the wait. While we are still deciding on paint colors and rugs, window coverings and artwork, we're finally ready to unveil our newest abode.

Here's the latest from Casa de Perlman ...

L to R ~ The family room ... kitchen ... opposite view of the family room

L to R ~ the dining room ... the sun room.

L to R ~ Riley's room ... Sheridan's room ... Gray's room.

L to R ~ view of the upstairs landing into the MBR ... the office and view of Gray's room
... one view of our bedroom

L to R ~ the storage room in the basement ... the kids play area ... the guest bedroom

Beautiful sunsets as viewed from my front porch.

My ONLY Rule Of Sledding ...

2012-01-23T19:15:00.001-05:00

... is that they stay outside LONGER than the amount of time it takes me to get them layered up.

Which he managed to do. AFTER I locked him out because he attempted to
come back in after just ten minutes. Mama was enjoying the sounds of silence.

My other rule is that they MUST be this much of a trooper ... after taking a serious tumble
down the ice completely on their face.

Seriously, what fun is sledding if you don't have a few war wounds. Right?

After Twelve Years Of Marriage ...

2012-01-22T19:14:00.003-05:00

... today, January 22, 2012 ... you just have to let your hair down and have a good laugh.

Which as you can see, Matthew did. Don't you love how his hair is almost longer than mine?

This photo was taken on our first date. Circa December, 1996.

It's the FS RoundUp ... Building Our Community

2012-01-20T00:01:00.005-05:00

I don’t like sequels. They’re never as good as the originals. Well ... except for The Godfather. And Aliens. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget Meet the Fockers. Hysterical! Especially when your family growing up IS the Fockers, then watching it is doubly funny.

When you really think about it, all the best Hollywood movies are single presentations. Why screw with perfection in movies like ... Raiders of the Lost Ark. Juraissic Park. The Matrix. Even Dirty Dancing. They just can’t be replicated.

Which is precisely what I’ve been feeling as I attempt to revive the weekly State Department Round-Up. How can something that was so good, written by someone who is so clever and meticulous, be resurrected and held to the same standards? It’s akin to having say Adam Sandler assume the role Matthew Broderick played in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Sure, they’re both actors and comedians, and I’d like to think that it would still be funny. But one does fart jokes and potty talk while the other has a dryer sense of humor. I’m not sure it would have been as big a hit ...

So I’ve made some changes. And since change is the one constant in the life of a Foreign Service family, I figured no better time like the present to roll them out.

The first is that the FS Blog Round Up now has it’s own acronym ... the FS BRU. Or BRU for short. (Not to be confused with “The Bro” ... which ironically offers the same amount of support that you’ll find here). Come on, you KNOW that had to happen in our acronym-heavy world.

Additionally, there is now a website in which to send in your link submissions. The email address is theFSroundup@me.com. All correspondence regarding the FS BRU will now be conducted solely out of that address.

And the biggest change is that the FS BRU will no longer be Weekly, but rather Bi-Weekly. With the possibility of turning it into a monthly publication ... on it’s own website. As bloggers participation began waning over time, changing the RoundUp to twice a month will hopefully keep people energized and excited to read about their comrades around the world.

Oh ... one more thing. For now, as Kolbi did at the beginning of starting the BRU, I’ll be hosting it here. Eventually when we get into a rhythm ... and decide if the blog topics are working (or not) ... I’ll put together a calendar and pass the torch for others to start writing.

So far, so good? Well okay then. Enough housekeeping issues ... it’s time to get on with the show!

Blogging is very voyeuristic ... giving us an opportunity to anonymously peek into what people are saying and doing. Offering up ideas of places we should go. Things we should do. Projects to should start. And meals to prepare. It also introduces us to new people. Virtually and in real life. For here in D.C. there have already been a few blogger “meet-ups” and plans for another in the near future.

As we begin the new year I have decided to spend my time focused on building a community. My community. Of which, blogging and the foreign service are very much intertwined. I’ve written a lot about it over the past few months as I’ve struggled with finding it here in our new neighborhood. Who knew that living back in the States meant that we didn’t watch and treat each other’s kids as our own anymore? That you can’t call kids on the carpet, or goodness forbid raise your voice at someone else’s child for doing something clearly inappropriate. Dude - if my kids ever rolled their eyes at another adult, I’d expect them to grab their little ear and walk them over to my house immediately where they would apologize up and down, left and right for their behavior. But, lesson learned ... I’m not overseas anymore where this type of community parenting is accepted and most often expected.

We all move around every few years, with spouses going on unaccompanied tours, crappy internet capabilities, and families having babies and /or going on emergency medevac. We deal with medical issues, shopping nuances, pouch problems, office politics, and yearly summer bidding cycles ... which frankly can take a toll on even the healthiest of minds and strongest of marriages.

Who better to understand what ~~you’re~~, what WE'RE going through?

... than Kolbi, who forever and a day thought she entirely ruined her husband’s career by blogging. Turns out she not only HELPED him get tenured, but she also re-discovered her passion for studying, (remember how much she LOVED her Chinese classes?) and decided to go back to school!

... or Heather, my dear girlfriend who lives in Zimbabwe, and who has more internet problems than she ever had at her previous post in Kenya. Who just lost over 1000 photos when she tried to sync her iPhone to her desktop.

... or Emily, who just finished packing out from her post in Tijuana. She arrived when her sons were just “babies” ... and now look at them. She also has a great analogy of herself to a houseplant.

... or Sadie in Saudi Arabia, who went on a recent trip to Jordan and had the wonderful opportunity to meet up with another FS blogger friend.

... Jen, my friend here in DC has had a heck of a month so far as she underwent another surgery from her “blip” fifteen months ago. I’m lucky I get to meet up with her here and there when our schedules coincide!

... Kate in Brasilia has it worse than any of us as her kids are STILL off on their summer break. Reading her posts and facebook updates about her four kids home from school this past month has had me in stitches.

... of course Kate shouldn’t read about Denise in Dhaka ... because she just got a much needed break from the daily grind as she left her two girls and husband at home while she went on a girls weekend away.

... It’s too bad that Eve and I can’t get together for a power walk or baby group. I relate far too well with how she’s been feeling during the holiday season. Thankfully there’s things like this that help make things right again ... at least for a little while.

... There’s never a dull moment in Shannon’s life in Malawi. From her son’s recent fall from a tree in her front yard, thus breaking his arm while her husband was out of town. And as a side note ... why does this stuff ALWAYS happen when they’re gone? To having to see yet another fun “creature” that her son brought home.

... Pets are a big part of many FS families lives. And it’s never easy when the vet’s office doesn’t have the proper equipment to adequately diagnose what’s wrong. Thankfully, the local hospital DOES and Erica in Uganda’s doggie could get the treatment needed!

... and Donna has hit that halfway point at their post in Jordan and is now doing what everyone else in the FS does when they get bored. She’s surfs the internet for p0rn ... Go find out why.

... Sunny in Brussels came home from a fabulous holiday weekend only to be met by none other than mouse poop. Just like me, she is ill equip to deal with it, so if anyone wants to help catch Minnie (and probably Mickey too - remember they always travel in pairs), she’d greatly appreciate it!

... Anne in Conakry is gearing up for a little R&R to the States in a few weeks. Until then she’s dealing with a few explosions. Of the real kind ...

FS Bloggers also do some really cool things ...

... like Becky who is in language training here and off to their next post in Taiwan in a few months just finished up her 365 project. Whereby she snapped one photo and posted it every single day on her blog. I hope you get it printed and put it on your coffee table!

... My friend Michele here in D.C. knows the value of taking a break from her kids every once in awhile. A Capitals game. Some chocolate. And a night away? We should ALL be doing this a little more often.

... Heather in Cairo didn’t want me to link to her this week because she’s taking a little break. But they’re making great memories as they travel all over Egypt ... AND they just celebrated their 13th anniversary.

... Kelly has her top five reasons why she should next be posted to Italy. She also has great photos and places for you to bookmark for your future travels.

... and speaking of Italy ... Zoe in Milan has done some phenomenal travel and manages to snap photos along the way. Make sure to link to her blog as you'll want to use it the next time you travel through.

... Connie in Jordan, who recently hung out with Sadie from Saudi, has some of the coolest crafty creations. She’s made everything from quilts and duvets to slip covers. Check out her latest duvet ... and don’t forget to admire the kitties too!

... Carla in Manila is a runner ... a serious runner! And who better to start an online FS running group? Hmmm...

... Daniela’s son is finally walking. Look how she cheers him on!

... Sara in Costa Rica reflects back on a wonderful 2011.

... Melissa in Jerusalem just got back from an R&R to the States, where they ate their way through all my favorite haunts and really gave Target a run for their money.

... Lauren and her daughter in Norway are baking up a storm.

... Nomads by Nature in Swaziland has a great photo of the back of a school bus. How would you feel if this was directed towards your kid?

... Naoma in Kenya just had a virtual baby shower for her little munchkin-to-be. As she begins to take out her suitcases for her impending medevac to the States, go wish her Safe Travels for her and her young boys!

... Alix is preparing for their departure this summer to Moscow with her family. After a crazy 2011, they welcomed 2012 with a bang! Not only did her husband find a few missing items, but he also agreed to take over the cooking duties. Oh, he’s a keeper!

... and there are even foreign service KIDS who write blogs. Like Hannah in Jordan who tells a hilarious story about walking to school in Florida ... in the rain. And well, you just have to laugh with her.

These bloggers are just a small portion of what make our community what it is. What it should be. And I feel quite blessed that I actually know a majority of these ladies ... through overseas posts, blogging, and through Matt’s office. It’s been encouraging to have them on my side.

So instead of just reading who you know here ... may I make a suggestion to branch out, read someone’s blog you’ve never heard about, and find someone else with whom you can connect. It’s a new year. A new RoundUp. A new opportunity to build your community and fill your soul. Who knows ... you may just meet your new best friend.

Next FS BRU will be out on Friday, February 3rd. With an optional talking point that’s VERY near and dear to my heart.

We’re talking about Vomit.

Have a kid, spouse, or animal who pukes a lot? Have a funny story about said puke? Let’s see whose is more disgusting.

Until then ...

I Often Worry ...

2012-01-12T08:46:00.003-05:00

... that emails, written communication without a voice or inflection behind them to interpret the meaning, can often become misconstrued. Taken completely out of context.

Unless you're 7 & 8. And then what you write is really what you mean ...

Next time maybe they'll remember that all their messages come to my computer too.

On Jan 11, 2012, at 6:16 PM, Riley Perlman wrote:

I am going to lick you.

Your awesome sister. Ya

sent from my iPod

On Jan 11, 2012, at 6:34 PM, Sheridan Perlman wrote:

You are not going to lick me because mom said you can't.

Your sister.

Sent from my iPod

On Jan 11, 2012, at 6:39 PM, Riley Perlman wrote:

Mom didn't say that poop.

Sent from my iPod

On Jan 12, 2012, at 7:03 AM, Sheridan Perlman wrote:

Riley please don't be mean to me I do not like it so by now I do not like you.

Your sister Sheridan.

Sent from my iPod

On Jan 12, 2012, at 7:06 AM, Riley Perlman wrote:

I did not understand what you just said. Your a poop.

Your fantastic awesome sister Riley

Sent from my iPod

On Jan 12, 2012, at 7:09 AM, Sheridan Perlman wrote:

You are just not nice at all.
I do not like you. You are a poop.
Your sister.

Sent from my iPod

On January 12, 2012, at 7:10 AM, Jill Perlman wrote:

You're BOTH being poops. Now get off your iPods and get ready for school.

xx mom

Sent from my iMac, where all of your emails are copied so I can read what you're saying!

Bringing Back The Round-Up ...

2012-01-09T21:06:00.005-05:00

Last week on Facebook I posted a question to the Foreign Service Bloggers about their thoughts on bringing back the State Department Round-Up. While I didn't hear from many, those who did respond gave me an overwhelming, "YES!".

For those who are unaware, the State Department Round-Up is the brainchild of my dear friend Kolbi, who wanted to bring the Foreign Service Blogging Community together. Though a simple concept, whereby every Monday bloggers from around the world would send in links of their latest happenings, and on Friday a blog post would appear highlighting what they've been up to, it was one that was heavily anticipated. She spent endless hours cultivating relationships, highlighting bloggers, and fostering the positive communication we all have today. However, after spending a year on this endeavor, coupled with her recent move and other personal ventures, the Round-Up has had to take a back seat.

Which is where I come in.

After mulling it over for the past few weeks, talking it over with Kolbi, and receiving a positive response from those who will be contributing, I have decided to tackle the challenge of resurrecting what was one of the highlights of our community. And considering how much I've been missing my village lately, this seemed a perfect fit for me.

While I haven't worked out all of the details and idiosyncrasies, whether we will be just posting links from the week or offering any suggestions of post topics, I have decided that next Friday, January 20th, will be our first edition.

So pass along the information. Have your friends and fellow Foreign Service Bloggers email me links at mjperlman@me.com by this weekend. And let's enjoy the new Round-Up in the new year.

Smooth As A Baby's Hiney ...

2012-01-06T22:41:00.003-05:00

... that's what my face WOULD have been after injecting it with the $1275 "worth" of Botox that Grady inadvertently purchased this evening on Groupon while fooling around on my iPhone.

Hooray for Apple and their intuitive operating system as apparently even a 2.5 year old can spend money online.

In order to have a conversation with my girlfriend this evening, I handed Grady my iPhone to best his high score on his favorite game, Angry Birds. He was sitting with his back to me for several minutes when all of a sudden I heard the familiar ping, alerting me that I received an email. As I had been awaiting correspondence from a friend I grabbed the phone away from him, and to my horror saw this email ...

"Hi Jill. Your Groupon for 3 Areas of Botox (up to 60 units) (a $1275 value) is ready to print. Your credit card ending in **** was charged $349."

Holy sh*t.

It was a scary five minutes as I tried to rectify the potentially costly situation. However, after squinting to read the microscopic print on the Groupon website discussing refunds, I managed to cancel Grady's early Mother's Day purchase.

The real irony is that in retrospect, Grady got himself a good deal...

All The Kids Are Doing It ...

2012-01-04T11:10:00.002-05:00

... is what I heard from my now-7 and almost-9 year old daughters earlier last month.

It's Moshi Monsters. Where you can adopt your own pet monster. What? You've never heard of it? What are you ... stuck back in 2011?

They BEGGED me to let them hop onto my antiquated, barely-able-to-work-anymore Dell laptop, and sign up.

And I let them. Because I'm totally cool with them crapping it up, knowing full well that ~~when~~ if they do, that I'm getting an iPad. Not that I needed an excuse ...

Anyway, over the past month the girls have been playing Moshi Monsters. They came up with their own names. Own passwords. They found all their neighborhood and school friends online. And, as the website clearly states on their home page, they even found and began chatting with "new friends", with my one request that they don't befriend anyone with the word "sexy" in their name.

Can you see where I'm going with this??

I never gave any thought to the potential dangers of these online games until Riley woke me up at 6 am Monday morning (still a holiday, remember?) and told me that she couldn't sleep because she's been very bothered and had something to tell me. She said that when she was at a neighbor's house on Saturday playing Moshi Monsters, she received correspondence from one of her online friends who asked her more personal information about herself. The neighbor saw this and told her to lie ... suggesting Riley tell this person saying that she is really only 7 years old and has a older brother. Which she did.

However, Riley, who carries the burden of the world on her young little shoulders, felt uber guilty about lying and told me she hasn't slept well in two days because of it. She wanted to know if she could get back onto the computer and tell this "online friend" that she lied to her and clear the air.

WOW. Not quite what I was expecting ...

Obviously my girls have absolutely NO awareness of how much information that they can / can't provide to people they don't now. Nor is it a topic that they've covered at school.

So I now ask ... How did you explain to your kids that fibbing and evading questions from people online is acceptable when you've punished them for doing it to you? How did you explain that sometimes people aren't who they really say they are, and sometimes there are horrible people in the world?

Moreover, how would YOU explain cyber security to a second and third grader?

Out With The Old, In With The New ...

2012-01-02T22:44:00.002-05:00

I spent most of the day cleaning. You know ... ridding the house of last year's juju, and getting it spic and span for this year's chaos. Don't you do that? I figured that it's a brand new year and since I was stuck in the crapper yesterday, I couldn't quite do all that I wanted to rid our house of any negative energy and embrace the new year with vim and vigor.

So early this morning I began scrubbing the bathrooms. Then I vacuumed, swiffered, and washed the floors. I made a huge shopping trip to Trader Joe's. I even did five loads of laundry ... though I secretly did that today so that Matt would do all the folding. He's better at it than I am (and honestly cares FAR more than I do if the clothes are folded as neatly as a Gap store's inventory). Oh yeah, I also changed everybody's toothbrush. With the amount of money I'm paying for orthodonture, I figure that everyone should take pride in their pearly whites. Right?

With 2012 already underfoot, I hesitate to move forward without acknowledging my lack of published New Year's goals. Everybody has them right? While I've never addressed mine aloud, I honestly ask if people truly hold others accountable? Aside from my brave husband, I wonder who would call me out for not getting my tush to the gym four days a week or who's going to stay on me to update my blog in a timely manner?

Since I assume you all care about my resolutions this year, I'm going to write them here for the world to see. In no particular order, they are ...

* To complain less. Unless it's about my kids. My husband. My house. Or my car. Then all bets are off and I'm letting the expletives fly.

* To drink more ____. You can fill in the blank of whatever beverage you feel I should be consuming. Though if you don't say, "wine" or "Starbucks caramel macchiattos" then you really don't know me, and you shouldn't be left to fill in the blank.

* To stay in touch with family and friends. Unless it means that I have to initiate the call ... or email ... or dare I admit, stop screening my calls, to which I'll remind you of how good I was with that in 2011.

* To answer emails in a timely manner. Ha! Remember that I have regular internet now, not that cruddy third world internet that I had back in India ... It's taken me an entire year to perfect the art of evasion whereby I blame everything on having three kids, a husband who works insane hours, and little free time to do anything else.

* To update my blog more frequently. See above retort.

* To be more assertive. Oh goodness forbid! I threw this in just to see if you were still reading ...

* To go to the gym 2-3 times per week. Since I have a free membership how much Jewish guilt should I have if I don't regularly make it? More importantly, is Jewish guilt retroactive?

* To not take myself too seriously. Starting with ...

2012 Got Off To An Auspicious Start ...

2012-01-01T20:03:00.006-05:00

... when I was accidentally locked in a bathroom stall at California Pizza Kitchen in the Tyson's Corner Mall.

The drama unfolded just as we were concluding our lunch and paying the bill, when Grady had a blowout diaper and began screaming that he needed to be changed. Off to the ladies room we went.

As the bathroom was rather small there wasn't any room for the changing table except in the handicapped stall, which I didn't lock, since I knew we were going to be quick. However, as soon as I gave Grady a clean tush, I figured that I might as well use the bathroom too.

So I put him on the floor next to the toilet and reached over to lock the door.

In the minute or less that I was 'seated' and unable to keep my hands on him, Grady managed to gross me out beyond belief. He touched the walls. He crouched onto the floor to look under the stall next to me. He put his thumb in his mouth. I rushed to finish so I could throw out the stinky diaper and scour both of our hands in hot water. But when I was ready to go, the lock was stuck.

I jingled the lock. I pushed on the door. I jingled the lock again. I knocked loudly. I jingled the lock in every direction. I pushed a little harder on the door. Again. And again. And again.

Nothing happened. For five minutes. Then ten.

In the meantime, I was holding a dirty diaper in one hand and using my other as a vice grip on Grady as he had now touched ... the toilet. The floor. The toilet again. The changing table. The sanitary napkin box. He tried to climb under the door at least three times. And followed it all up by putting his thumb back in his mouth.

I. Was. Sick.

A young girl who walked in to use the bathroom, realized I needed help, and rushed out to tell anyone who worked at the restaurant that there was someone locked in the bathroom stall.

Nobody came.

About five minutes later Riley rushed into the bathroom looking for me. I angrily told her what happened and instructed her to tell Matt. It was only then that an employee finally offered to help.

Fortunately, the employee was able to pry the lock open after a few minutes of heavy fiddling. UNfortunately, she told me that the lock on the stall was changed earlier that morning and that I was the SECOND person locked in there today.

NOW I was irritated. The restaurant already had this happen one time today and they didn't fix it? Nor did they put a sign on the door stating to lock it at your own risk?

Instead, I was forced to spend fifteen minutes stuck in the small stall with a wild toddler.

Fifteen minutes where I could have been back in the mall shopping. Or waiting in the long line at Starbucks.

The manager met me at our table, in the center of the restaurant, where I loudly told him what happened. He offered no response or explanation. So I didn't waste any more of my time or mince any words. I just demanded that as a result, he was going to comp our meal.

Dumbfounded, he continued to stand there and stare blankly at me, while our server, who was mortified over my situation, quickly ran to the cash register and refunded us our money.

And. We. Left. With the same $47. And Purell. And with a whole lot of giggles. Because seriously, this stuff only seems to happen to us. Our new year may have started off crappy, but it's bound to move on up from here!

So to those who say, "There's no such thing as a free lunch." Well ... they haven't been locked in a stall with a 2.5 year old.

Peace, Health & Happiness ...

2011-12-21T10:48:00.004-05:00

Wishing you and yours a wonderful 2012

SEVEN ...

2011-12-20T00:01:00.002-05:00

... years ago today I walked into the Muscat Private Hospital looking like this.

And I walked out two days later with this ...

Oh yeah, and with this ...

Nothing's changed.

Happy happy birthday to my ~~obnoxious~~, ~~whiny~~, beautiful SEVEN year old. I love you more than words. Or pictures.

iHooked

2011-12-18T18:37:00.003-05:00

iDrankthekoolaid

(not showing ... the Apple TV and the wicked old iPod Shuffle)

Be VERY Wary ...

2011-12-14T14:20:00.005-05:00

... at family gatherings when your uncles' discover new iPhone apps. Because they *may* email you these kinds of photos they took of your son.

I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time...

Taken with FatBooth

Taken with BaldBooth

Doesn't he look like the guy in the TV show The Office?

While He May Never Remember ... I Will Never Forget

2011-12-13T17:25:00.001-05:00

Today is my grandfather's 93rd birthday. Ninety-three years old!!

So this past weekend my aunts & uncles threw a party for him at his Nursing Home in South Bend, Indiana. Everyone was planning on attending ... all my dad's siblings, most of their kids, and many of the great grand kids. Of course I only found out about it late Friday night in a passing conversation with my mom. Not one to be left out of a chance to eat cake, I began researching ways to fly to South Bend and surprise everyone - especially my dad (who didn't even tell me about the party).

I reached out to my aunt on Saturday morning and asked her to give me all the info about the party. She gave me the low down of when and where it was, while my uncle gave me a few tips about where I should fly in. It looked like there was a chance I could actually pull this off. The only problem was the cost.

Do you know how expensive it is to book a flight less than 24 hours in advance? To a location where you can't get a direct flight? When you need two tickets? Let's just have you trust me that it is.

Since we had plans all day Saturday the only thing I could do was leave my trip up to fate. I figured that if I there were seats available on a United Airlines flight later that night, where I could use my frequent flyer miles, and I could fly in early enough to Chicago on Sunday morning where I could then rent a car and make the 2+ hour drive out to South Bend and arrive just prior to the party starting, then it was meant to be.

As you can see ... it was.

I booked our airline tickets and rented our car at 7:30 pm on Saturday night. And at 6:25 am, Grady and I left our house, drove to the airport and parked in daily parking. We took a small overnight bag, his car seat and stroller, bundled ourselves up in the 22 degree cold and high tailed it to our gate to get through security and make our 7:58 am flight.

I kept in close contact with my aunt throughout the morning to let her know our whereabouts. And at 12:50 pm, with a whole ten minutes to spare, we pulled up to The Milton Home where the party was being held. I called my dad who could barely hear me on the other end, and he told me that he flew out to South Bend early and was at a party for his dad. He said he'd take a ton of photos and send them to me later that night. While he was talking to me, I sent him a text message with a picture that I told him he just had to see right then of Grady ...

Needless to say he was surprised.

The day was a roller coaster of emotions ... from wonderful to see all my cousins and relatives to bittersweet as with my grandfather's dementia, he said very few words and had no idea who I even was. But we took pictures. Lots and lots and lots of pictures ...

A four generation photo and photo of my dad's siblings

The daughter / granddaughters, the great grandsons, the grandchildren & great grandchildren

Of course, this isn't the first time I've surprised family for my grandfather's birthday. Remember his 90th birthday party back in 2008, when I was pregnant and came with the girls to California?

Or way back in 1998 when we ALL surprised him for his 80th birthday party looking far ... younger.

A wonderful whirlwind trip to celebrate my Zadie's ninety-three wonderful years of a life well lived. And though he may not remember any of it anymore ... we sure do.

It's Been Awhile ...

2011-12-12T19:39:00.013-05:00

When you open up your life and blog for almost eight years, going a month in between updates seems like an eternity. It's not that I'm any busier here than I was in Newport Beach or even overseas (well maybe just a little). It's just that I've needed the break. Scratch that, I've wanted the break. And for the most part, I haven't yearned for the burden of running straight to my computer at the end of the day to document every wee little thing the kids did that made me laugh or every household snafu that had me seeing stars.

Sure, I've missed not writing about my never-ending parenting fail moments ... like a few weeks ago when I was driving to pick up Riley from Girl Scouts and had to make a quick stop in the dark when Grady recently blurted out from the back seat, "F**king D*mnit". Followed up a few days later when I turned off Elmo before I took him to school only to hear him scream, "Dat's F**king Bullsh*t". Oh the clarity of his vocabulary when dropping an "F" bomb or two...

Yep ... Mother Of The Year I tell you.

Of course, not writing for long periods of time also means that I'm eventually left with a large void. Which is where I am now. My catharsis comes from blogging. It's my greatest outlet ... as well as my biggest nemesis when I go this long in between updates.

So without further adieu, let me fill you in with pictures of what we've been up to here in Casa de Chaos over the past month ...

My in-laws came for a super fun visit the first weekend in November.

We took these pictures at the National Zoo

We've had several school activities to attend. Both girls had conferences and received great marks on their report cards. I chaperoned Sheridan's class on a field trip to Mt. Vernon (OYE the noise on the bus ...). I visited Sheridan's classroom as they took me on a tour of their American Indian Museum. I went to a poetry reading in Riley's class. And I've begun volunteering every Tuesday in her class with the reading centers.

I met up with a gaggle of spouses whose husband's are all in the same line of work as Matt. It was a LATE night with a LOT of head nodding, eye rolling, and laughter as we realized we were all married to virtually the "same" man ...

I underwent two separate VNUS Closure procedures. They were done on each leg where the veins were lasered closed to help reduce the pain, swelling, and throbbing of my varicose veins. The pain was minimal during the procedures, but left a gnarly bruise on my left leg. The next step is sclerotherapy before we move on to a micro phlebectomy. Fun?

The girls spent one Friday evening ice skating with friends from school.

My parents came to town after Thanksgiving and we totally enjoyed time with them and my
brother Scott here at the Museum of Natural History. Sheridan finally agreed to hold this caterpillar, while Grady LOVED holding this cockroach. Twice!

Our first family photo in front of any DC landmark!

The girls also finally joined respective Girl Scout Troops where they are both Brownies. They've each had meetings and an event and are already talking about selling those darn cookies!

This past Saturday we hung out with our dear friends who laughed at me when I took these photos saying, "Smile everyone. She's probably going to put this in her blog".

Damn straight.

The girls also ...

... started a weekly gymnastics class. They've been to the orthodontist where Riley is scheduled to have her braces put in on February 1. They've both been on numerous play dates. I've put myself out there and gone on oodles of coffee and lunch dates as well, and even went out to a wine tasting and dinner with a group of the neighborhood ladies . We've had our gutters cleaned. We've seen a few movies, including The Muppet's, which is just darling. My cousin, my neighbor, and my sweet friend Christy all had babies.

And of course, who can forget Thanksgiving. A wonderful day spent with new friends ... and the first of many turkeys cooked in our new house.

So that's what's been happening in our neck of the woods. Enough to keep me busy. Enough to keep me away from the computer. Enough to add a few more than a few gray hairs.

Which I'm thankfully getting colored tomorrow. That is, right after I volunteer in Riley's class. And deal with her holiday party preparations. And run by the grocery store. And ...

It never ends does it?

If It Takes A Village To Raise A Child ...

2011-11-13T23:58:00.006-05:00

... where did my Village go?

My girlfriend put things into perspective for me a few weeks ago when I was having a meltdown of epic proportions. I was complaining that while life was finally on an upswing and most things were moving into place ... there was still something I couldn't put my finger on that had me REALLY depressed.

She called it Reverse Culture Shock.

Reverse Culture Shock is defined as "returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as Culture Shock. This results from the psychosomatic and psychological consequences of the readjustment process to the primary culture, and is surprisingly more difficult to deal with than the original culture shock."

I spent an inordinate amount of time questioning how I could be dealing with this considering ... a.) I've been back in the States now for over a year now, and b.) I've spent more time living in the States than abroad. But as I slowly move out of my funk, I'm beginning to understand just how much this has affected me... and our family.

Last year with Matt in Iraq, I was purely in survival mode in our tiny California rental house. We had very few of our own belongings with us. I knew our situation was temporary. And in retrospect, that's exactly how I acted. That's how the girls acted. We talked more about our future in Virginia rather than enjoy the time we spent in California

Now that we're here in Virginia, living in our new house with all of our own things, our focus is on establishing roots. Making life-long friends. Building a community. Though, we're finding that settling in and starting anew isn't as easy as it used to be. Yes we are together again as a family. And yes, we are completely unpacked, with most of the construction issues behind us. Yet I still am in search that one elusive piece of the puzzle I'm certain will hold the key to my happiness.

The reality of my reverse culture shock, is that I am seeking something that just doesn't exist. That a large piece of what I've come to expect and appreciate with each overseas move, is missing here. Moving back to the States now means ... that we don't live on a compound or have an Embassy / Consulate looking out for us. We don't have the immediate built-in friendships of those who are in the same situation as us... friendships based on same experiences that start strong and last a lifetime. We don't have the built-in work / family social structure that has been our saving grace, even when we may not always have appreciated it at the time. And the parent's don't all go to the same work place and do the same kind of job ...

Now that I recognize I'm comparing what our past was like to what our future holds, I need to let it go. It. Is. Just. Hard. Moreover, it's lonely. It took me seven years in three different countries to be comfortable enough to accept the chaos ... the fishbowl ... the diplomatic lifestyle. My neighbors here don't understand Matt's crazy work hours. The new friends I have don't care. The stories we all shared at dinner parties and at official events now seem far fetched when I tell them. I mean ... how many of Riley's friends really care that for her 7th birthday we took her to Singapore? How many of Sheridan's friends actually believe that she's American, despite her being born in Oman? How do I delicately address Grady's affinity for darker skinned people?

These past few months have not been the easiest of transitions. From an interim boss for Matt ... to the girls being introduced to cliques for the first time ... to repeatedly putting myself out there and going outside of my comfort zone to meet new ladies and build new relationships... (because unlike kids, thirty to forty year old women don't just knock on each other's doors and ask to become friends ... though that would make it SO much easier).

But every day is a new day and we are finally moving in the right direction. We're making plans. We're making friends. We're addressing this as a family. And just as the seasons begin to change, so too do our attitudes, as we slowly begin building our own little village.

Or at the very least for now, a small tribe.

The Obligatory Halloween Photos

2011-10-31T22:23:00.003-04:00

Fall Party at the girls school on Friday night. Sleepover at our house Saturday night after our first snow day of the year. Block party on Sunday afternoon. And a potluck dinner finale pre trick-or-treating tonight.

This holiday is officially over... but not before I show off my little Elmo, Fallen Angel, and Disco Diva.

Hope everyone made out with as much 'loot' as we did! Happy Halloween.

The neighborhood kids from JUST our section of the street.

Occasionally Things DO Go Right Around Here ...

2011-10-19T15:45:00.006-04:00

What should have been just a week-long project turned into a month-long affair when torrential rains and Trex issues ever so unkindly mixed.

But five pallets of gray Trex later ... our deck is finally complete!

Who's coming over for a barbecue? Just be prepared to sit on the floor... there's no telling when we'll get furniture!

L: The before picture. M: The deck is framed. R: Do you see the different colors?

L: Waiting for the new Trex. M: Entire deck ripped out again. R: Almost complete.

It's filthy and needs to be power washed ... but totally worth the wait!!

So Where Were We?

2011-10-18T10:15:00.007-04:00

It's been so long since I've blogged that I've pretty much forgotten where we left off...

Did I tell you about the guy from the Environmentalist Company who came in with his fancy schmancy infrared camera to inspect the basement and see if there was any other mold growth? Only to discover that we had yet another leak in the basement and the entire wall under the guest bedroom had to be ripped out and air dried ... followed on with new insulation, sheet rock, and repainted.

Did I tell you that the Environmentalist Company washed down our entire basement with a mold, mildew, smell remover that they use in hospitals and cafeterias and then used a HEPA filter vacuum in the basement AND ran an industrial HEPA filter with a coal filter on top for four days. Only to have the smell in the storage room come back mere hours after they removed it?

Did I tell you two basement windows had to have all the brick surrounding the window removed, and then re-flashed, re-caulked, and the brick re-installed?

Did I tell you about the illnesses and missing school pictures? Or about Grady eating mud? Or about the 75 tulip bulbs I planted and 15 bags of mulch I just spread around the front yard?

Did I tell you about the girls latest orthodontic visits. Where they had their palate expanders put in? Or how I listened to the girls whine and moan for two weeks about how everything was getting stuck on the roof of their mouth?

Did I tell you about visiting our dear friends in Maryland last weekend? Where we watched these (now) six kids running around and playing like no time has passed between them ... even though it's been over two years since we last saw each other!

Did I tell you that my Endocrinologist got my blood results back and I'm on a new medication. At a lower dose. And I have low Vitamin D. Which I'm now taking meds for as well.

Oh yeah ... and did I tell you that we finally figured out that the smell in the basement has NOTHING to do with the builder or the house ... but is actually the treadmill that Matt bought on Craigslist...

... Yeah.

That's where we are.

Left: Riley, Kit, Gabby - 2004. Middle: with Sheridan - 2006. Right: with Jack - 2008

with Grady - 2011

The girls' palate expanders

On The Mend ...

2011-10-11T09:30:00.007-04:00

I. Feel. Better.

Not great, but better than I have in about two months. Maybe more. Which is saying a lot, considering I didn't realize I was as sick as I was until I started to feel better.

It wasn't a sudden illness. It was a gradual feeling of malaise. Knowing something was just 'off'. I wasn't myself.

I began feeling tired. Not exhausted, just slightly worn out. Like I needed to sit down for a few minutes here and there. When I was a little shaky I chalked it up to too much caffeine. When I couldn't think straight because my head was all foggy, I assumed it was because I just didn't get a good night's sleep. Sometimes it would take me all morning to recover and get going with my day. Some days I never felt better at all.

These symptoms alone would never concern me. But all of the sudden I became aware that I had them all at the same time. That it was taking longer and longer to accomplish normal, everyday tasks. I became grumpy and hot and anxiety ridden. I stopped answering emails, blogging, communicating with family and friends. Something ... was ... wrong.

And then I noticed it. I was craving salt. My hair started falling out again. My face began looking like a pre-teen's with all the acne.

And I realized ... It's my Thyroid.

Of course being new to Virginia I don't have an endocrinologist. So I did what every other busy mother who's stressed over the B.S. in her brand new house would do. I googled my symptoms and self-diagnosed based on WebMd. For the next few days I analyzed how I felt shortly after taking my Thyroid medication. In a nutshell ... lousy. Three days later I went cold turkey off my meds.

Later that afternoon through our insurance company's website, I found an endocrinologist. However, when I called, they had WAY too many openings for me to feel comfortable. I don't know why it bothered me, but I always felt that any specialist worth their weight in gold would be difficult to get in to see. One who had THAT many open appointments couldn't be very good. Right?

Despite my hesitation, I did make the appointment for the following week. Because even a crappy Endo was better than no Endo. And at least he could check my levels and diagnose what was wrong.

A few days after I realized what the underlying problem probably was, I was at a lunch meeting with some mother's from Riley's class. I began over-sharing my ailments, as I often do, when one of the other mom's told me that several years ago she too had Thyroid issues ... which ultimately turned out to be cancer.

I don't know what came over me, but instead of asking her how they diagnosed it, if she was okay, or how she was feeling now, the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "YAY, you have an endocrinologist!"

She gave me his name and less than an hour later I called and made my appointment. Seven weeks out, he MUST be good! Before I hung up, I stressed how sick I was and begged and pleaded with them to put me on the cancellation list. Just in case ...

Sure enough, I got the call last Thursday afternoon. A coveted cancellation. On a Saturday no less. One week after calling to make my initial appointment. I took it and immediately canceled my appointment with the 'stand-in' endocrinologist, who didn't even ask if I wanted to reschedule...

The appointment went well. The doctor ordered a bevy of blood tests. A Thyroid sonogram. And even complimented me for listening to my body and going off my meds. I'm fluctuating between hypothyroid and hyperthyroid and my hormones are totally out of whack. He told me that once we have the blood results later this week we'll be able to begin the game of ping pong. He'll begin by serving me the first dose of new medication and my return will either be staying on that dosage or asking to re-adjust accordingly.

I am giddy with the prospect of feeling GOOD again. Maybe even great. It's been far too long.

At least I know ... the game is on!

MYTHBUSTERS

2011-09-27T10:29:00.004-04:00

DISCLAIMER: The chaos performed here in the Perlman Household is done by trained professionals, with years and years of experience. Do NOT try this at home.

Myth #1:

If the newly re-ordered palette of Trex for your deck is delivered to your house early Monday morning and your builder comes in the late morning to rip out half your deck and re-install the new Trex, the dye lot on the new Trex will match the dye lot of at least half of the old Trex.

MYTH BUSTED!

Not surprisingly, the dye lot of the new Trex delivered is still a slightly different shade than both of the previous palettes of Trex. Now we have three different colors of Trex sitting in our driveway.

Myth #2:

When the mold and wet wood from leak in your basement is removed, the pungent smell should begin to dissipate.

MYTH BUSTED!

Not only is the smell still there, but we now have additional stinky smells in the mix ... including the sanding and painting of the steel beams near the leak and the sealing of a crack in the concrete.

Myth #3:

When the brick and siding are removed from your house in order to get to the basement to remove the mold and wet wood, the weather person who predicted sunny weather for the rest of the week while you wait for the hole in your house to be fixed, will be right.

MYTH BUSTED and MURPHY'S LAW CONFIRMED!

Not only will the weatherman be wrong and it will rain all night long, but the wind will also be blowing IN the direction of the large hole ... and the half-assed job to cover the hole may not be good enough to keep the water out.

Myth #4:

When receiving an email from the teacher asking you to be the room parent, it is most likely because your reputation preceded you.

MYTH BUSTED!

You were actually the ONLY one to answer the teacher's email that she blind copied and sent out to eight other parents. Jackass.

Stay tuned for next week's episode where we test out whether or not two girls can keep the spacers in their mouth for required two weeks before they get their palate expander's on. Or whether the Land Rover dashboard warning lights will continue to go off at the most inopportune time.

When It Rains, It Pours ...

2011-09-22T21:33:00.005-04:00

... and sometimes even leaks.

We have a smell in the basement. Not one of the typical new basement, new carpet, new paint smells. Rather a different kind of smell that has been there since we've moved in, though has gotten progressively worse over the past eight weeks. It's a smell Matt barely acknowledges, but one that singes my nose hairs every single time I go into the one unfinished room in our house.

I've asked everyone who walks down the street to come in and help me identify the smell. To figure out just where it's coming from. To give me ideas on how to rid it from our home.

The contractors came through and told me that it's just a concrete smell. Or maybe it's the insulation. Their suggestion? Try bleaching it. So four weeks ago we took everything out of the room and spent almost an entire night scrubbing and bleaching the floor. Then the next morning after the concrete was dry, we put an acid wash on the floor and followed up by painting it gray.

All. For. Nothing.

After much insistence, three more people were sent out by the builder to pinpoint the smell., Through deductive reasoning, with absolutely nothing in the room, they determined that it must be the insulation. Four days later the insulation people came to take out the insulation ... only to discover that the smell was still there.

Now I was getting angry.

I called the builder's office again and demanded somebody else come out. Because while I appreciated their confirmation that there IS a smell that ISN'T just concrete or insulation, nobody was pinpointing the cause. And. It. Was. Still. There.

A week ago the warranty manager, who has been dealing with new construction for thirty-plus years, came to the house to identify the smell. In less than ten minutes he discovered that the smell is none other than ... MOLD! Apparently we have a leak in the front of the house that was caused from water build up behind the brick and siding. Awesome! The water managed to slowly move its way down into the basement, thus soaking the wood, rusting a steel piston, and stinking up my room like nobody's business.

While I should be upset that there's a leak, in my brand new house, I'm not. Because after almost eight weeks, the warranty manager (who is totally my new BFF, thus ousting my previous BFF from the DMV) discovered where the smell was coming from and is taking immediate action to have it fixed! Immediate action being ten days later ...

Of course when it rains it pours here ... because nobody does chaos like the Perlman's do chaos.

So on top of the mold and the leak and insane coordination I've had to do with the builder's peeps traipsing in and out of my basement over the past month, we are also in the process of putting a large deck out back. A big, beautiful deck that has taken weeks to design ... to pick out colors and materials ... and to wait for the HOA to approve.

And while everything was going swimmingly the first few days with the framing, wouldn't you know that 3/4 of the way through laying the Trex decking, I noticed something wrong. The dye lots on the two Trex packages were different. Same color ... but a slightly different shade of the same color. And it's only noticeable from one side of the deck... which wasn't the side the contractor was on. Sh*t.

We called the place where the contractor ordered the Trex. And they sent someone out immediately. Sure enough, same color. Different dye lot. Which I was assured almost never happens. Unless you're me.

The next step was for the Trex sales representative to come to my home, take a look at it, and make it right. Which he thankfully did first thing this morning, and agreed to replace it free of charge. So now we have to re-order an entire palette of new Trex in order to match one side of the deck or the other. Rip out the 50 boards of the wrong color. And then continue on ...

To add the cherry on top, I received an email yesterday morning from Riley's teacher. An email asking if I would be the room parent in her class. Not knowing if it was sent just to me or a bevy of other parents, I waited an hour or two before I responded back to her, saying something to the effect of, "sure, if nobody else wants to do it, count me in". Which, two hours later she emailed back saying, "yes, YOU are the one I want to be the room parent".

Crickets ... crickets ...

See, when I filled out the parent volunteer form a few weeks ago, I was the 23rd or 24th parent (out of 25) to put my name on the list. I looked through and noticed that almost everyone checked all the boxes on the list stating that they'd do anything to help in the class ... including be a room parent. By the time I added my name, I actually laughed out loud and stated under my breath that there was no way I'd even be called for anything on the list.

I'll admit that I am really excited to do it this year as last year I was in Sheridan's class every week and never got a chance to focus on Riley. I just find it very interesting that the new mom in the class, the one at the very end of the volunteer list was chosen. The joke seemed to be on me.

Actually, aren't all the jokes these days on me?

Don't answer that ...

Even I, er The Tooth Fairy, Occasionally Make Mistakes ...

2011-09-21T22:25:00.004-04:00

While the Tooth Fairy has been known to be a tad harsh when need be ... she normally isn't known for being forgetful.

Little did I know how upset (bummed was her exact word) my munchkin would be when she forgot to make an appearance the other night. I had to remind her that it WAS the fairy's first time coming here, and since she wrote a note and stuck it IN the envelope, rather than writing her note ON the envelope, she probably didn't get the memo. I assured her that the tooth fairy never misses two days in a row.

But really? I'm just giddy that she absolutely and completely still believes ... especially after the book she read almost two years ago. Remember that nonsense?

Getting that extra dollar didn't hurt either ...

A Short Sentence ...

2011-09-20T09:34:00.005-04:00

... actually 100 of them. With the six year old needing 4 pieces of paper to finish hers.

Think it'll serve as a reminder for next time we go to a restaurant and they attempt to throw a COLOSSAL fit over ... crayons?

I may just start packing paper and pencils to begin their next 'sentence' in the car ...

You CAN Fight City Hall ...

2011-09-18T21:04:00.003-04:00

... and WIN!

It wasn't easy. It caused many a gray hair. But knowing that I was ready to fight an important cause, made every single minute worth it.

It all started when the bus transportation route was published the week prior to the start of school. Our neighborhood bus stop was scheduled to pick up the kids at the entrance to our development. And I (along with all the neighbors) was none too pleased.

So I made my first call. To the Loudoun County Public School Transportation office. Where a lovely woman explained the bevy of reasons why the bus stop was located where it was, and why, under no circumstances, would a school bus be allowed to come into a development still under construction.

The first day of school was chaotic. While pushing Grady in his stroller, I walked the girls smack dab in the middle of the street to the bus stop with the neighbors. We weaved around the construction vehicles, the dumpsters, the mounds of dirt. With no sidewalks in sight, we waited in the middle of the street for the bus. We all complained.

It didn't take but one day to realize that I needed to start drafting my appeal letter to the Director of Transportation. To show him that our bus stop was inappropriately placed. To offer a perfectly acceptable alternative. I took pictures. I spoke with the neighbors. And everyone who had kids riding the bus in our neighborhood signed my letter ... that I HAND delivered two days later to both the Director and Supervisor of Transportation.

Of course, my letter was forwarded to an underling. To a person who took her time to review our appeal. And who ultimately didn't feel that our bus stop had as many issues as we did.

Not one to give in that easily, I pressed on. Challenging her denial and forcing her to look into another alternative as there was already a bus coming into our neighborhood.

Instead, she not only ended up denying our bus stop change, but additionally moved the special needs bus stop as well.

Now. I. Was. Mad. I gave it some thought, and later that night formulated an email that I quickly shot off to every single member of the Loudoun County School Board. Along with a damning video. And oodles of photos.

In less than an hour, I received two emails from School Board Members, one of whom forwarded on my email to fifteen or so more people, including the Superintendent's office. The other member walked me through the appeals process, gave me contact names at the Superintendent's office of people with whom I should meet, and helped me with the next steps should my next appeal hit roadblocks.

Thankfully I didn't need to take additional action because when I went to pick the girls up from bus stop the next day, who should be there to greet the parents, but the Director and Supervisor of the County Transportation Office. The original people with whom I hand delivered my appeal letter two weeks prior.

Crap managed to roll downhill ...

The two of them were surprised at what they saw. They talked with several parents. They walked our routes home. But more importantly, they showed up the next morning to watch the bus pick up. To see first hand what I wrote in my letter. To verify that I wasn't crying wolf.

That was last Tuesday.

Below is what my girls came home waving in their hands three days later.

Pure Justice

Never underestimate the power of persuasion ... or Mrs. Perlman's VERY large mouth.

Next fight. Putting in a Stop Sign near our new bus stop. I'll keep you posted ...

On Hugging Your Kids ...

2011-09-10T13:39:00.005-04:00

Of all the times to feel included, there is one club that we all never hope to join. It's a place where sadly, my sweet friend Anna, unwillingly entered last Thursday night.

When she lost her 12 year old son in the floods in Virginia.

I've never had a friend lose a child. There are no words. Nothing of comfort to say. No way to help make it better.

Like my other friends who knew her well, I am heartbroken.

I saw Anna just a few weeks ago when she came out to visit me and see the new house. We were both bummed that we didn't make it to the BlogHer conference in San Diego that very weekend, where we finally met the year prior in New York City. We went to lunch and laughed. Took self portraits and sent them to our friends. We made plans to get our families together...

There are so many things that I wanted to finally write about this week. The girls back to school nights. My screw up with Grady's preschool. The school bus debacle. But right now none of it seems to matter.

What does matter is that I'm now going to a funeral for a friend's young child next week. To offer support for her family. To grieve for a boy taken far too soon. To remember and to pray about how precious life is.

I am sickened. I am heartbroken. And I'm hugging my kids extra hard these days.

First Impressions ...

2011-09-07T13:48:00.008-04:00

... were taken yesterday.

At the orthodontist!

Where, in less than one month, BOTH girls will be getting their palate expander's. And then ... gulp ... braces!

After the insanely expensive pediatric dental visit last June, I knew that we were working with a small window of time get the girls to an orthodontist to begin their first phase of treatment. I hadn't quite planned on doing both of them so early, but seeing the mess that is Sheridan's mouth and jaw, and knowing that their dental journeys will be over way before mine ever started, had me reconsidering. Throw in the fact that this orthodontist we found has unbelievable reviews, comes highly recommended, and is my next door neighbor's best friend doesn't hurt either!

His office is a well oiled machine. They have books, magazines, TV, video games, and computers available to keep the siblings and parents occupied. It's extremely organized with everybody adhering to their roles and keeping the hoards of people coming in/out moving in a steady flow. They even have a program to keep kids engaged in their orthodontic progress by offering incentives for wearing the office's t-shirt to appointments, getting good grades, proving they have good oral hygiene, and not losing appliances. It. Was. Awesome.

Within 1.5 hours the girls had x-rays and facial profiles completed, we met with the treatment coordinator, we met with the orthodontist, the girls had more pictures taken, they signed the treatment wall, we met with the financial coordinator, and were finally fit for spacers and had impressions taken. No complaining. No gagging. No reprimanding.

Overall, I like this orthodontist's approach to treatment. He believes in being minimally invasive. He doesn't like to pull teeth. And believe it or not, it was less than I expected to pay! Of course, there is the chance that we'll need to do a second phase of treatment. But it would be nominal in both cost and time considering we'll have paid a majority the first time around.

For the time being, the only metal I'll be investing in won't be on my ears, wrists, or neck ...

Make New Friends ... But Keep The Old

2011-09-01T09:18:00.004-04:00

One is Silver and the other Gold ...

Which couldn't be truer here. I met these two lovely ladies way back in August, 2003 ... at our very first overseas post in Muscat, Oman. Three women in totally different stages of our lives. The newlywed, the working mom of a toddler, and mother of a six-month old who just stopped working for the first time in her life.

Connecting. Supporting. Building memories.

We've been there for each other through thick and thin. New babies and new countries. Failed pregnancies and unhappy jobs. The Embassy parties. The vacations. The three husbands doing hardship tours in Iraq and Cuba.

It's difficult to make friends when you get older. When you're no longer thrown into the Embassy community fishbowl. When you're as nomadic as we are. When you move into a house directly between two best friends and you so completely feel like the third wheel...

So I'm extra thankful that we stay in touch. And that we always try to meet up in DC when we know we're going to be in town at the same time. Which, since we left Oman six years ago, has happened twice. Once back in January, 2007.

And the other, last night.

Thanks ladies ... my cup is full for awhile.

Small trip down memory lane ...

March, 2004

November, 2004 ( I'm 8 months prego)

January, 2007

Visiting Alison in Budapest in May, 2006

Kathie in DC - Jan, 2009 (I'm 4 months prego)

It's The MOST Wonderful Time Of The Year ...

2011-08-29T08:57:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure which one I'm more excited about.

This ...

my 3rd and 2nd graders. wow.

the girl brigade in our neighborhood.

Or THIS ...

It's a toss up.

Nothing Like A Last Minute Phone Call ...

2011-08-26T22:10:00.005-04:00

Today the girls had their student orientation at their respective elementary schools. Their two different elementary schools. Which has really bummed me out for the past several months.

See, when I came here in April for our pre-construction walk through, I stopped by the school and picked up the registration packets. Unfortunately the secretary told me then that the kindergarten through second grade classes were already near capacity for the fall, and there was a high probability that Sheridan wouldn't make it in.

Sadly, when we finally closed on our house last month, and drove straight to the school to register the girls, the bad news was confirmed. Sheridan was wait listed and would be attending the overflow elementary school four miles away. At that time, we were given the option to keep Riley enrolled at our local elementary school, or send her with Sheridan. It was a tough choice to split them up, but with the chance that Sheridan would move over to our local school sometime during the year, moving Riley over could prove problematic if the third grade classes were filled and then there wasn't room for her.

More. Tough. Decisions.

So I was a "Bitter Betty" at Riley's school today. Her big, beautiful, modern elementary school that I teared up in the minute I walked through the double doors.

We stopped in the front office, where I inquired about Sheridan's position on the wait list and were told that they don't have any answers. Sure, I could call them later in the day. But they had no guarantees this year. Or worse yet, next. I walked out and cried.

After Riley's orientation we then drove over to Sheridan's school where my inner ~~bitchiness~~ bitterness was starting to get the best of me. Again, I couldn't contain my tears as we walked through this older, well established school. Sure, it was fine ... I just couldn't wrap my head around sending Sheridan here. Alone. When all of her new friends and neighbors were going down the street.

We unpacked all of her school supplies. I told her teacher. I explained our situation and she empathized. She understood. I cried.

And after a long day of orientations, we left the school, hopped in the car, and headed to where we always do when I need a pick-me-up. Starbucks... where amazing things always seem to happen.

As I was walking in to grab another free drink, my cell phone rang. The woman on the other end was none other than the secretary at the local elementary school. Telling me that she can't believe it ... but she has a spot available for Sheridan and wanted to know if I wanted it.

Do I want it?

I screamed. I cried. I broke out in my best Elaine Benes inspired jig in the middle of the parking lot, and totally embarrassed the girls.

After I grabbed that free drink ... priorities ... we drove back to the overflow school and picked up the school supplies we JUST dropped off twenty minutes prior.

Now off to buy the school supplies for the new school, because you KNOW they had to be different than overflow.

And then to submit my letter to the school board requesting they change the bus stop. Because there's never a dull moment here ...

Never Say Never

2011-08-25T21:05:00.003-04:00

Today marks exactly one month that we've owned our new home. One amazingly expensive month of crapping out $1000 bills like they were growing on our non-existent money trees.

Though as the boxes become fewer and the dust begins to settle, we are able to look around our new house and basque in the culmination of the adventures and sacrifices we've made for this nomadic lifestyle.

As a Foreign Service Family, we have the opportunity to lead one exciting life. Raising our kids overseas. Traveling to places that they will be reading about in history books. Building relationships that will last a lifetime.

We feel very blessed.

I have spent many months thinking about my experiences over the last year. Trying to find a way to articulate the challenges, as well as, the tribulations of our year apart. A recap of sorts where I tie it all up with a pretty little bow.

But the reality is ... my words fail me.

When your spouse leaves on an unaccompanied tour you go into it with the Guerrilla Mindset, "Get in. Do your tour. And get out."

By the first R&R you're angrily saying, "Never again".

As you hit the half-way point. The holiday season. Your second R&R you lighten up a bit and admit that, "You can suck it up for a year."

And when you see each other on your final R&R, with less than three months to go, the tears are few and the excitement high. You realize that, dare I say it, "It wasn't as bad as you anticipated."

If I've learned anything at all in my years as a Foreign Service spouse, there are no absolutes. And what you once said you'd NEVER do ... you find yourself doing not once, but twice.

As many of you know, Matthew's job here in Washington D.C. is a one-year tour.

After thoughtful deliberation, starting way back at the beginning of this year, we have made the decision for Matt to do one more unaccompanied tour.

Next summer, Matt will be heading out once again to serve as of the Regional Security Officers in Afghanistan.

And the kids and I will be staying here. Remaining here in our new house. With our support system already in place.

Lest people criticize, I understand this is not for everybody. We are making a calculated investment for our future, and what it means to Matt career, as well as our financial security. It's not that he has a compelling desire to be separated from his family. It's obviously a gamble. But, we're optimistic that it's going to pay off down the road.

We have decided to refrain from telling the kids for awhile due to their inability to comprehend time. For now we'll just enjoy the year. And the moments we share together while making plans for our future...

And Starbucks Saves The Day ...

2011-08-24T11:06:00.006-04:00

Well apparently in order to title and register your car in Virginia you need to show proof of residency. Which, of COURSE I knew. And remembered. Last night. Though it CLEARLY did not help me today, when I rushed out of the house to the DMV.

So there I was. Twenty minutes away from home. Paperwork in hand. Feeling oh so pretty in wrinkled clothes with my hair looking like birds could build beautiful nests in its mess. Ready to brave the bureaucracy.

Within two minutes of walking in the door I was at a window. Smiling. Hoping. Praying that the paperwork would speak for itself.

Which it didn't. Because of course, I wrote the wrong lien holder's address on the form and needed to re-fill it out. Thankfully the DMV was empty and the lady let me fill out the paperwork at her window.

But when my California driver's license didn't show proof of Virginia state residency, and the blank stare on my face trying to hide my stupidity didn't send me packing, I did what any other self-respecting woman on the verge would do.

I pulled out the only piece of mail I had on me. My trusty, "Free drink because you spend way too much time and money in Starbucks" card. That shows ... none other than my change of address.

Proof, that I do in fact, now live in Virginia.

Would you believe that the woman at the DMV, my new BFF, actually accepted it?

Hallelujah!!

Within ten minutes my car was now titled and registered in Virginia. Fees paid. License plates distributed. I was out the door. And onto Starbucks ... where my caffeine habit has proved itself beyond worthy ...

Would you have expected anything different?

In other news ...

* Screw the sprinklers! We're moving onto the big guns. Like irrigation systems. Apparently there IS a limit on how many times a day I can stand to move the sprinklers around the yard ... eight is more than enough!

* The girls got their bus schedules for school and I'm less than thrilled. I was already reeling that Sheridan didn't get into the same school as Riley this year due to the district's poor planning on teacher / student ratios and under estimated boom of housing sales in this county. But now I have to deal with an inappropriately placed bus stop and two completely different pick-up times. I've already made the phone call to the district. Next up? My letter to the school board ... with every single neighbor ready to sign ...

* We have been bogged down in organizing hell. Sure the boxes are all unpacked and everything is put in the right room ... but holy heck have we spent WAY too much time trying to put it all in away. And searching for curtains. And searching for curtains. And did I mention that we're still searching for curtains?

* We survived the earthquake. I grew up in Northern California. I went to school at Northridge. Enough said?

* Our backyard deck is getting built in less than 3 weeks.

* The storage room in our basement is getting dry-walled in a few weeks.

* We have seen a bevy of friends over the past week ... including dear friends from Israel, Matt's work friends from Iraq whose families have quickly become our newest confidantes, a 6 year old birthday dinner, a ladies luncheon with fun friends, and even a house guest over the weekend! Much needed fun ... and laughing ... and relaxing indeed.

* The girls start school next Monday. Matt starts work on Monday as well.

* Can you tell I'm looking forward to Monday?

Until then ... can someone please remind me where we planted our money tree?

Not the original one. I obviously have a few due to my ... habit. *ahem*

Home Sweet Home ... FINALLY

2011-08-11T22:55:00.004-04:00

So as you can see, I've been taking a bit of a break. Turns out, home ownership keeps you rather busy. Especially when you now have a yard to maintain. And new sod, which requires a ridiculous amount of TLC.

Of course when your new sod dies a few days before you move into your new home due to an extreme heat wave, you now have extra yard work to do and higher water bills to pay as you spend every waking minute trying to bring your coarse brown grass back to luscious green.

You then make at least fifty-two trips to Home Depot and Lowe's on your quest to find THE perfect sprinkler heads for your postage stamp sized front and back lawn, in addition to all the other "stuff" you needed ... like hoses, light bulbs, wall anchors, picture hooks, plants, potting soil, dimmer switches, power tools, drill bits, mini blinds, spackle, and many, many, many more items that I've both purchased AND returned over the past several weeks.

This move has consumed us me.

At some point I may write about our closing. The never-ending trips to Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Wal-Mart, and Costco. Our four different movers ... with our stuff from California, from Belgium, from Maryland, from Iraq. I'd tell you about all the things that were broken. Or stolen. Or gross and moldy and faded after eight years in storage. I'd complain about the never ending solicitors. The bugs. The waiting around every single day for something to be delivered or installed or serviced. I may even hint at having a huge argument with the contractor on the day they came to replace our dead sod. Let's just say that like the TV show Cheers, 'everybody knows my name.'

I'd also kvell about our neighborhood. Our neighbors, who ALL have kids around our kids ages. Instant friends and bike riding buddies and never ending basements to play in.

But right now, I'm done. We're finally catching our breath as we begin to make this house a home. And for the first time in almost three weeks we are able to lift our heads up and get out of the house for more than just a Target run.

I sent out an email with our new address. If you didn't get it or you want it, send me an email. If you emailed us over the past few weeks and I didn't respond. Please forgive me and know that I'll try to get back to you. Eventually.

Though it will most likely be after we head to Home Depot one more time. I just know we'll pick up the right sprinkler head one of these days. Until we do, pray for rain.

The Next Chapter ...

2011-07-17T22:06:00.010-04:00

Early this morning I heard the soft tap, tap, tap on the hotel room door. A sound I was anxiously awaiting. An arrival that was long overdue. I knew he was coming. I just didn't tell the girls.

The flight landed an hour earlier than expected. It usually does. Though this time it was bittersweet, as with our jet lag, I knew there was no way I could get everyone up and dressed and dragged to the airport hours before the sun rises.

It's been a year. A year filled with change. With challenges. With accomplishments. With love. There were moments when it felt like the year would never end. There were days and weeks when it felt like it was flying by so fast my head was spinning.

I answered the door this morning to the weariest of travelers. One who has spent the last thirty hours making his way home. To his new home. And family. Who couldn't be any more excited to finally have him back.

It has been equally tough for him to be away from his family. Long hours. Seven-day work weeks. Months in between R & R trips. Everyone concentrated on how I was doing, yet often forgot that it wasn't exactly a picnic for him either.

For the first time in 364 days we don't have to look at a calendar and worry about a count down or missing a moment. Instead, we have the final walk through and inspection on our brand new house. We have the opportunity to finally relax for a few days before the the chaos of the movers, the boxes, the mess sets in. We have new memories to build together in Virginia.

Today we are closing one door and opening another ...

Hello Virginia!

2011-07-16T23:01:00.001-04:00

Your newest residents have finally arrived.

So let's just sum up our travel day with two words ... "It's Over."

After being used as a human jungle gym, a napkin, and a bed for the 4 hour, 40 minute flight, I was more than ready to land. Probably not as much as the people around us who had to endure the multiple fits, the jumping, the shushing, the walking the aisles, and the bickering coming from row 31. But at least they were friendly. And helpful ... as I needed someone to carry my bags when Grady insisted on being carried off the plane in one of his epic fits.

Now we're here. Our bags made it in one piece. And better yet, I even managed to sweet talk the United agent into waiving the baggage fees ($240) when I pulled out my travel orders and told her we were moving.

But the icing on the cake? Having our dear friends, who we've known since Oman, deal with the dead battery in my car just prior to picking us up at the airport. One issue I actually didn't have to deal with myself!!! How's that for timing?

Not only that ... They washed the car. Put gas in it. Took us out to dinner. They even left us with a large gift bag of snacks and goodies ... and the all important bottle of wine. Holy rockin' friends!

Eight days until we close on the house ...

Nine days until the movers start delivering our stuff ...

Ten days until we move in ...

Stick A Fork In Me ...

2011-07-15T16:57:00.000-04:00

... because I am DONE with packing.

Oh, don't misread that I'm actually done packing ... I'm just done with packing. There IS a difference.

For the third time in five weeks I am packing up our eight suitcases and 4 carry-ons. An insane amount of cr*p that I'm stuck schlepping around because the movers decided to condense our pack-out into one day. Remember?

However, this time, I'm packing for the BIG move. The one that has us leaving California and finally becoming Virginia State residents.

In between the packing and organizing, I'm working with 3 different moving companies to have our 3 shipments of "stuff" delivered to us starting the day after we close on the house. A small feat considering each company has their own set of contractors who they have to contact to secure the dates we want ... during prime moving season.

Thankfully, with just minor complications, every delivery is now confirmed.

And my Land Rover? Sitting safe and sound at my friend's house as we speak.

And our mortgage? Moving along with the underwriter.

In all, a process that is slowly coming together, piece by piece, at the very last possible minute. Though, should I have expected anything different?

Wish me luck and sanity tomorrow ...

... that all our bags make it there in one piece

... that Grady somewhat sits quietly on the plane

... that no child has a colossal meltdown in the airport

... that the passengers around me offer help rather than criticism

... and when we arrive in Virginia, that I don't look like I need my friend (who's meeting me at the airport) to bring me more than one cocktail ...

Two at the most.

An Apple A Day ...

2011-07-14T01:12:00.000-04:00

Keeps the whining away ...

Mini Me(s) ...

2011-07-11T14:01:00.000-04:00

We all know that Grady looks identical to Matt ... thus proving that I was solely the vessel.

Left - Circa 1973 ... Right - Circa Oct, 2010

But after looking through photo albums at my parent's house, here's proof that I have my own little doppelganger ...

Circa 1977 ...

All photos ... Circa 2009

The Height of The Matter ...

2011-07-08T17:04:00.000-04:00

Ever since my parents moved into this house 30+ years ago, they've kept a wall chart of my brothers' and my height. Sure the walls have all been painted a few times since they've lived here, but not this one particular section in the laundry room. No sirree! It's been unbelievably maintained. A wall we all enjoy looking at every time we walk through the room.

I've noticed in many of my friend's and cousin's houses that they've done the same thing. Kept a running chart of their kids measurements. Compared how one child grows to another. However, being the nomads that we are, aside from the yearly well checks, we haven't kept track of how tall the kids have become, nor lived in any one place long enough to start our own wall.

Luckily, years ago my dad had enough foresight to realize this, and start charting our kids on this very same wall.

Every time we come to visit, the kids immediately run into the laundry room and ask to be measured. They know they need to stand perfectly still, with their head straight and feet together touching the base of the wall.

Sure this method may not be as scientific as a chart from the pediatricians office, where we can see their exact measurements and percentages compared to other kids their age. But I'd be willing to bet that this wall chart is better. Because it compares the kids to me AND to my brother's heights from the very same ages!

But the best part? Last year my parents spent many painstaking hours transferring this exact height chart onto a large roll of butcher paper so that when we move into our new house, we can transfer the kids heights onto their own wall.

Pretty amazing, eh?

So here are some interesting stats ...

I am 5 feet tall. My brother Scott is 5'10''. My brother Randy is 5'3''.

Riley at age 8 is the exact same height as my brother Scott when he was the same age. She is the same height as my brother Randy when he was 12, and the same height as me when I was 11.5.

Sheridan at age 6.5 is the exact same height as my brother Scott when he was the same age. Sher is the same height as my brother Randy when he was 9, and the same height as me when I was 8.5.

Grady at age 2 is the same height as both Sheridan and my brother Randy when they were 3.5.

I've always had one wish for my kids ... it's that they're taller than me. It looks like there's hope!

See Ya Soon!

2011-07-06T02:39:00.000-04:00

Bye-Bye Land Rover. Have a safe ride to Virginia. See you in a few weeks ...

Car shipped early because it is less expensive to rent a car here than it is in Virginia. And if it arrives before us? Then it'll be delivered to my friend's house. The same dear friend who is kindly letting me send loads of other cr*p that I forgot to have the movers box up.

10 days ...

Nothing Says Independence Day Quite Like a SIX Mile Hike ...

2011-07-04T23:59:00.000-04:00

... with your brother, father, AND your daughters. Up the 2500 foot Mission Peak mountain. In the 90 degree heat.

As much as you really want to stop and turn back because not only are YOU tired, but your daughters have b*tched, whined, and moaned about EVERYTHING under the sun since the MINUTE you stepped on the trail. You don't. Because frankly, you all needed the exercise. And you're a glutton for punishment.

So after an hour of the insanity, you do what every good mother does. You bribe your kids. With money. And tell them that for every 15 minute increment they don't whine, you'll give them a dollar. Which Zadie will match. Then you shake your head in bewilderment as the true depth of their physical pain is proven when they completely forgot about it ... after being bribed with money to continue.

But in the end, after the three mile hike in the two hours and two minutes it takes you to get to the top, you let out a huge sigh of relief. You pat yourself on the back for persevering through the pain. You shed a tear at the beautiful sight of the two American flags waving in the wind at the peak and the gorgeous views of the San Francisco Bay.

Only to be snapped back to reality as your descent takes you another hour and a half. More whining and moaning ensue after several falls on the steep, rocky trails. Your brother carries your youngest daughter down several precarious shortcuts. You finish the last of the five water bottles, the Mike & Ike's, and the M&M's. You continue to look back at the peak where the flags get smaller and smaller and smaller as you FINALLY reach your car.

And you realize that the ENTIRE hike was worth it when your eldest daughter turns to you, after crying the last thirty minutes of the hike, tracking gum into the backseat of the car, complaining how thirsty she still is, and matter of factly says, ...

"You owe me four bucks."

Though in reality, she could have earned twelve.

Happy 4th of July.

P.S. While I jest, I absolutely must compliment my girls for an amazing job well done. It was a tough hike, and though I tease, they really were troopers and truly deserve to be congratulated!

at the top of Mission Peak

can you see the flag at the top of the peak?

about 1/3 of the way up

almost there

Got Remotes?

2011-06-30T00:28:00.000-04:00

Probably not ... because we have them all here.

And while I finally have a few moments to actually watch TV, I can't. Because I have NO CLUE which ones actually work the television ...

Seriously.

Have Pen. WILL Color.

2011-06-27T22:15:00.000-04:00

Meet the littlest Picasso. Who thinks that the ~~world~~ couch is his canvas.

Thank gawd this didn't happen on my watch ...

We. Are. Here.

2011-06-26T18:33:00.000-04:00

It's about as positive as I can be about the drive up to my parent's house. Because ...

* The drive took 8 hours, 15 minutes.

* The stop-and-go traffic was insane.

* Child #2 used up BOTH puke bags.

* Child #3 decided he didn't need to take a nap. At all.

And me? Well let's just say that when the triple cappuccino hit. It hit HARD. And despite making a pit stop at a cousin's house off the freeway, for a mini bathroom break and a quick hug, it was just the beginning of many gas station pit stops. And opportunities to evade CPS as I left the kids in the car ...

But we're now here. And despite the girls tearful goodbyes with both their friends and their teachers, they're thrilled to be here. Me too.

Because the next time the cappuccino hits me, I have more than one bathroom to choose from. And I don't need to worry about finding a toilet seat cover ...

Sheridan's teacher Mr. Nguyen
Riley's teacher Mrs. Clarke

Sheridan's dear girlfriends ...

And Riley's favorite gals ...

A quick visit with the cousins ...
... and Sheridan after filling up bag #1

Our Next Destination Awaits ...

2011-06-24T13:24:00.000-04:00

In less than 2 hours my girls will finish their LAST day of school here in Newport Beach.

Not being a family who lets any moss grow under their feet, in true Perlman fashion we'll be hopping into our VERY packed family truckster and making the 7+ hour drive up to my parents house. The final leg of our journey before we move to Virginia.

Puke bags? Check.

Snacks for the car? Check.

Tearful goodbyes anticipated by all? Double check.

8 bags, 1 stroller, 2 car seats, and 4 Trader Joe's bags (not shown)
perfectly crammed into the family truckster.

One Month From Today ...

2011-06-17T00:18:00.000-04:00

... we will be Virginia State residents.

A bold statement that just doesn't completely express the magnitude of our excitement.

Especially when this week has presented some sleeping challenges. And spacial challenges. And timing challenges.

But we have daily maid service. Which totally doesn't make up for the chaos. But we're beyond happy to have it. The maid service, not the chaos. It's been awhile since anyone besides me has done the cleaning ... and I will admit that it's been nice. Not nice enough that I want to stay in this small room any longer than I need to. But it's one less thing that I have to do. ONE less thing...

It hasn't been easy ... but in the past week:

* I figured out a way to cost-construct our airline tickets from San Francisco to Virginia vice Los Angeles to Virginia, and pay less than $350 out of pocket. Total. Which is a HUGE feat considering they wanted approx $600 / per ticket / per person. Now one could say that it's crazy that I have to pay any money to move on to our next post considering this is an authorized move for our family. However, we were only eligible to fly from Los Angeles to Virginia on the USG's dime, and to change our plans meant that we'd have to pay any additional monies above and beyond what the government gave us to fly from LA to VA. And surprisingly, there are no government airfares for the SF - VA route, which meant, I had to pay a regular fare. Which I did. And since the prices were minimal, I booked them.

* We were also authorized (and now scheduled) to ship our car from Northern California vice Southern California to Virginia at no additional out-of-pocket costs.

* We booked our hotel in Virginia for the few weeks until we move into our new house.

* I confirmed that our shipment from Belgium will arrive, clear customs, and be moved to the storage facility where our shipment from CA will be stored, by the time I arrive in Virginia.

* I also enrolled Grady and the girls in summer camp for 3 weeks near my parent's house. Hello sanity!

I even managed to get off the computer and out of the hotel room a bit here and there this week ...

* and enjoyed a moms brunch and mini farewell gathering that a few friends had for me today.

* and went to the mall and finally bought a pair of much needed sunglasses since my last pair were stolen out of my car back in April.

* and attempted to go bathing suit shopping. With the girls. Though I quickly realized how lousy an idea that was when my ever-so-honest daughter ripped open the dressing room curtain and loudly exclaimed that my thighs looked, "WAY too fat" for those particular bikini bottoms. Note to self. Never again take an 8 year old to a help pick out a bathing suit unless you really want her opinion. Which, frankly, you don't.

In all, a relatively good week. One where you may even admit aloud that you smiled more than you frowned.

Because you got most of what you needed to get accomplished ... accomplished. And more importantly? You realize that one month from today you'll be living out of yet another hotel room. But this time it's in Virginia. And you know that all you need to do to keep your daughters' in check, is to pull out that itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini in front of their new friends.

Which you totally added to your next shopping list for tomorrow. And smiled.

My Evening ... In Pictures

2011-06-15T01:25:00.000-04:00

The subject was placed quietly in his pack 'n play at exactly 7:15 PM. Sure, he may have gone 'to bed' ... but he certainly didn't go 'to sleep'.

at 7:55 PM

at 8:45 PM

at 9:15 PM

at 9:30 PM

at 9:45 PM

at 10:15 PM

Got ~~Milk?~~ Wine?

Hotel Room Sweet Hotel Room

2011-06-12T23:38:00.000-04:00

So here we are. Crammed into our small, but thankfully clean hotel room. After a long few days of packing up and moving out of our rental house.

There's actually a decent amount of closet space to store our 8 bags of clothes and 8 Trader Joe's bags of cr*p I never organized but threw together in haste when the movers decided to condense our move from two-days-to-one.

Bygones.

We checked in early Saturday morning and weren't even in the room for two minutes when Sheridan decided to play with the glass candy jar on the coffee table, and subsequently break it. Sending shards of glass all over the floor.

Again, bygones.

Let's just say that the lady at the front desk and I are going to be on a first name basis after the number of times I've gone over there these past 36 hours.

Well her, and the liquor store owner next door...

If you find an extra bottle of sanity on a shelf, send it over. Stat.

One. More. Day.

2011-06-10T12:20:00.000-04:00

It often feels like my life this past year has been a series of "just" getting through "One ... More ... Day ... Not that life has been all that hard. It hasn't. It's just been temporary. Nomadic. And none of us have ever settled in.

I find that I use the phrase, "If Only" far too often as well.

If Only ... the kids ...
If Only ... the dog ...
If Only ... the neighbors ...
If Only ... the school ....
If Only ... the State Department ...

Introspectively, a whole lot of complaining. For no real reason. Except that I can. And I do it well.

Anyway, tonight is our last night in our crappy little rental house in Newport Beach. It didn't start off crappy. Just little. But it was apparent after moving in that the landlord wasn't really interested in keeping us in a safe, maintenance-free environment. She wanted to collect a rent check. And the problems? As frequent and as small as they may have been, were met with resistance and untimely resolve. Which was aggravating considering how much money we paid in rent. Bygones...

On the bright side, tomorrow morning, we move out of this crappy little rental house and into a hotel. And an even smaller hotel room. One room actually. With four people. For two weeks. Until school ends.

There isn't enough wine in Newport Beach to numb that pain ...

But soon. Soon enough we will be settling on our new house. On the date that Matt is actually scheduled to arrive back from Baghdad .... and one year to the day that he actually left. An auspicious day indeed.

Now, if only I can make it through just One ... More ... Day ...

And They're Off ...

2011-06-07T23:43:00.000-04:00

At 8:20 am the movers arrived at our house ... and at 4:10 pm they were on their way.

With nary a minute to spare in between.

Our scheduled two-day move condensed into one. Despite only having half the house ready and organized for the pack-out. Because our relocation consultant insisted that we extend the pack-out from my original one-day request to two.

The bottom line? When you've already done two-handfuls of moves with the State Department, and you KNOW exactly how much stuff you have, go with your gut feeling and don't let any relocation consultant tell you what to do. Fight it. You KNOW better.

I knew better. I. Knew. Better. And really, after the movers walked through the house at 8:30 am this morning and told me that our move would be done in half a day, I agreed with them. It would be.

Except now, since I was told I HAD to do it over two days, it meant that I hadn't even remotely given thought to the clothes I was going to pack in our bags to last us the next 8 weeks. Nor had I organized any of the toiletries. Or gone through the important documents and pulled out all the items we'd need to ... you know ... close on the house or enroll the kids in school.

We also had the teensy tiny issue where the relocation consultant kinda, sorta forgot to tell the movers that they would be making an extra stop. At my in-laws storage unit. To grab the bed and side tables for our bedroom. Which now, had to be changed from tomorrow to today since the pack-out / move was condensed to one-day, and not two. Why I bothered to go through all the trouble to get them the information and the approvals only for none of it to matter is beyond me.

Anyway, by 9:15 am the revisions were finally made. By 9:30 am, the four packers began doing their thing. By 2:30 pm they were finished. Five hours is all it took them to pack, wrap, and load the truck. Five short hours to handle everything in our house before moving onto the storage unit, where more time was spent actually signing all the inventory documents than schlepping furniture.

And now it's done. It's finished. It's on the road.

Which is where we'll soon be in five short weeks too.

Now excuse me. I have a letter to write to the relocation consultant and my transportation specialist to discuss the little problem we encountered today. Seriously. My pain, is your gain.

bye-bye stuff ... see you soon!

and speaking of pain ... filtered for your pleasure!

Birthdays and Lasers and Pack-Outs Oh My!

2011-06-07T00:13:00.000-04:00

So apparently this having a birthday gig during the middle of a pack-out is kind of crazy.

Okay, VERY crazy.

Especially when your less than 1000 square foot, fully furnished rental house is inundated with all the brand new furniture you had delivered over the weekend. Or that you picked up today. Furniture that's coming out of the woodwork (just like the termites). There really isn't a square to spare...

Chairs I just had made ... the kids' bedroom furniture

And then you go off and have your face all lasered. Even more than usual because your dermatologist feels for you and does twice as much ... for the exact same price.

The first rule in Fight Club ...

You even ask your local Starbucks Barista for a free drink for your birthday. And you get one. Which pretty much makes your day.

But not quite as much as having these three lovely ladies actually post on their own blogs the sweetest messages about your day. Or the awesome moms from your daughter's class who knew you were stressing about packing, and dropped off a delicious burrito with guacamole for lunch. Exactly what you were craving!

It's topped off with several hundred emails, text messages, phone calls, and Facebook comments wishing you a special day, further solidifying your overwhelmedness. Shut up - that is totally a word. And despite knowing you want to write back to everyone and thank them, you just can't. At least not until Thursday... maybe even after you check into your hotel on Saturday. Maybe.

Until then ... you still have this to deal with. Though you really want to continue the birthday celebrations. Because despite the stresses of the day, it's actually been a really good one, and you hardly feel a day over 29 37.

*ahem* 38.

Just some of the rooms ready to go for tomorrow's pack-out.

Let The Insanity Begin!

2011-06-03T23:16:00.000-04:00

In less than 96 hours the movers will be here to pack up our rental house. Our third move in three years ... if you're keeping track.

Which means that I will be a crazy person for the next few days. Boxing up all the appliances I didn't put into storage in Belgium. Organizing the garage so all the furniture I ordered can be delivered over the next two days. Packing up the bags we'll be living out of until we get to our final destination in Virginia. Sometime in the next eight weeks.

I'll also be celebrating a birthday during this busy time. One that brings me wee close to 40. Which, as I told Matt a few months ago, is totally the new thirty. That is, unless you're still in you're thirties. For at least one more year. *ahem*

I may also be getting my nose lasered again. On my special day. Because apparently there isn't enough stress going on in my life over the next few days, and nothing says, "happy birthday" better than an ugly, swollen nose. And laundry. And packing. And labeling the house. And organizing. And last minute moving issues. Which I already know I'm dealing with today.

Though I wished to have spent our last weekend in our rental house at the beach. Relaxing. Going for a bike ride. Enjoying the scenery. We won't be. And we're OK with it. As long as it's the last time Matt has to bid out for awhile.

Which, of course ... it isn't.

But it is the last time we're moving. For awhile.

Insanity to ensue ... starting now.

You Don't Always Get What YOU Pay For ...

2011-06-02T01:44:00.000-04:00

When I approached the receptionists desk to check-out at the pediatric dentist's office today, I was assured that they would bill my insurance.

Of course, that's AFTER I pay the charges in full ...

... to the tune tune of $804!

Did you hear that? EIGHT HUNDRED FOUR DOLLARS!!

With my mouth agape, I slowly pulled out my credit card, and handed it over to the receptionist. I tried not to shake my head too hard. To look too shell shocked. To puke.

But seriously? For $804, they should be sending me home with someone to help brush and floss their teeth twice a day.

No, seriously.

Sure, I understand that the prices we paid overseas were ridiculously inexpensive. Even by India's standards. But a $92 charge for each girl to establish us as new patients ... when all we needed to was to scrape a little tartar off of Riley's teeth and remind Sheridan how to brush correctly ... seemed ludicrous.

I will admit that the office was pretty cool. One big room with four chairs lined up next to each other for the kids to get their teeth cleaned. Large monitors for the hygienists to look at their x-rays. And flat screen TV's above each chair for the kids to watch.

This type of relaxing environment would have been a great place to have taken the kids back. Not only were the hygienists thorough, but the dentist actually took a lot of time discussing the complexity of the girls' future orthodontic treatments.

After closer inspection of the statement, I'll concede that the prices were fairly reasonable. I think. Though, I'm sure that our insurance won't cover more than a wee portion of the total bill.

Which sucks because it looks like I just paid for at least two of their office TV's. And I really could have used at least one of them in our new home.

It's a good thing that the 'toothbrush' and 'oral hygiene instruction' were included in the price. Can you imagine the dialogue I would have had if they assigned a price?
I'm quite sure it would have contained MANY four letter words ...

Another Reason Why NOT To Skip A Well Check-Up ...

2011-05-28T20:55:00.000-04:00

... because you may discover this.

And when you find out that you hit the trifecta with near sightedness, an astigmatism, AND a lazy eye (not to be confused with general laziness ... *ahem*) you'll kick yourself that you didn't discover it sooner!

Could she be any cuter? She picked these out on her own ... red and pink with flowers. And she LOVES them. You've never met a girl who wanted glasses more than her!

Of course, this IS Sheridan. So let's take bets on how long before she looses or ruins them. I say a week. Maybe two. Tops.

At 1:37 PM I Hit The Send Button ...

2011-05-27T19:39:00.000-04:00

... and at 2:41 PM I had our travel orders in my inbox.

With a note of apology. From the Executive Director of the HR bureau.

Amazing what a well written, factual, plea-for-help-because-your-HR-tech-sucks letter can do.

Now ... let the amendments begin!!

The Irony Of It All ...

2011-05-25T23:46:00.000-04:00

Can I admit something? I've never taken the girls for their well check-ups.

Sure, they're completely up-to-date on their immunizations. And then some. But aside from their State Department and school medical clearance forms (both of which had been signed without doing anything more than taking their temperature and their blood pressure), and some sort of ailment that always had us doctor's office bound at least once a year, they haven't had a true check-up in ages. Well ... ever.

Until today.

So imagine my surprise when after taking their vitals, doing a complete once-over, a blood test, a vision, test, and mini-behavior screening, it was confirmed that both girls have absolutely perfect hearing.

Now, if I could just get them to actually LISTEN ...

Keeping My Eye On The Prize

2011-05-25T01:15:00.000-04:00

Matt left again today. Making the long journey back to Iraq. Just like he did way back when ... on July 18, 2010 ... and on November 30, 2010 ... and on February 23, 2011.

Only this time there was far less angst. No real queasiness. No pit in my stomach. No crocodile tears.

Instead, he left us this morning with hope. With excitement. With a solid view of a light at the end of the tunnel. Our new house, in the semi-final stages of completion, as the dangling carrot. The raison d'etre. Everything we've both worked for over the past several years finally coming to fruition.

And as sad as we are to lose those extra set of hands, and hugs, and dirty clothes today, we know that the time is going to absolutely fly by, and we'll be reunited in Virginia in a blink of an eye.

Two weeks until our pack-out

Two-and-a-half weeks until we move into a hotel

Four-and-a-half weeks until school ends

Six to seven weeks until we move to Virginia

Seven to eight weeks until we move into our new house

Nine weeks, two days until Matt comes home. For Good.

I'm sure this last stretch of road may be a bit bumpy ... but I'm keeping my eyes firmly affixed on the prize. As I realize that all good things are coming to those who have waited ...

Today ... He Smiled

2011-05-24T01:03:00.000-04:00

He's been SO darn miserable for the past week ... having gone to the pediatrician's office early Saturday morning for the fourth time in nine days.

The latest diagnoses?

The trauma to his tongue that we encountered last Wednesday was now looking more like a viral lesion and was covering 1/4 of his tongue. It swelled up frighteningly large, making him drool uncontrollably, unable to eat anything solid, and difficult for him to speak. Major bummer.

He also had a double ear infection. And was put on antibiotics for the first time ever. Double bummer.

But here he is ... almost a week later. Sporting a new 'do. Finally happy. Finally smiling again. Cute as a button.

Gratuitous Grady photo for your viewing pleasure ...

We MUST Be On Candid Camera ...

2011-05-19T11:13:00.000-04:00

Three ... It's the magic number ...

... it's the number of times we've been to the doctor's office with Grady this week.

Once for a gnarly rash on his bum. Once for his two-year old routine check-up where he measured in the 80th percentile for height and the 30th percentile for weight. And once for trauma to his tongue. I'm sure I'll see them again soon.

... and it's the number of times Matt's orders have been rejected this week.

Yes, again yesterday. After we discovered another work around to re-submit them. All to no avail as his CDA didn't enroll him in a mandatory class (that he requested over a month ago) and his HR tech gave him the Heisman. Ahhh ... the sweet sounds of incompetence.

But on a lighter note, we are totally in the running to win the award of "Most times an HR Tech can REJECT your travel orders request." Fingers crossed ... I never win anything!

I'm Ready For The Sunshine ... Just Not Blown Up My A**

2011-05-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

No worries ... I don't think it'll be happening any time soon by the State Department anyway. Considering Matt's HR tech denied his travel orders once again. Though the reason this time has me shaking my head in absolute disbelief ... for it all comes down to the "title" of his travel orders. Apparently everything in his orders is correct. The itinerary. The dates. The Allowances.

HOWEVER, because the system pulls travel dates chronologically, and we're moving to Virginia before Matthew leaves Iraq, the "title" of the travel orders submitted reads "Newport Beach to DC" vice "Iraq to DC". And they were REJECTED.

This itty bitty date issue is a known-glitch in the system for many employees departing Iraq and as we're discovering completely, entirely, and frustratingly delays the travel order process. Sadly, this glitch in the system won't allow Matt's HR tech to see past the end of her nose and realize that the "title" is merely a "title" and despite us traveling before Matthew, should make absolutely NO difference in the approval process. But what's worse is that we're told that all we have to do is change my travel dates to one day after Matt's so that it re-title's the orders to read "Iraq to DC", and then they'll be approved.

Which is difficult to do while Matt is on R&R.

But let's add insult to injury. Once his orders are issued, we can re-schedule our travel dates as originally planned. FRUSTRATING, eh?

And let's take it to an even crazier level. Like when Matt received an email from his CDA last Thursday telling him not to worry about any of this because his orders have been cut and she'll email them to us. Which she did last Friday. Though they were LAST year's travel orders. Not THIS year's. And after a combination of laughing, yelling, and cussing, we're again back to square one.

Which is NO travel orders. And no authorization to release our storage items from Belgium. And an increased stay in a one-bedroom hotel room with all 5 of us in Virginia as we wait for all our basics to get delivered to our new house.

But in the meantime ... as I wait for someone to blow some sunshine ... I'm actually cr*pping out $100 bills. By the fistful. And there's no end in sight.

New bedding for the girls rooms? Sure ... Pottery Barn here we come.

New eyeglasses for Matthew? Of course! Let's get THE most expensive frames we can find.

New silverware. New dining room furniture. New comforter. New clothes for Matt.

If it's available to be purchased, I've probably priced it out. Or bought it. Because we were just 'making do' and needed these items ... whether we moved into a new house or moved to another overseas posting. Of course, as a government worker, Matt is totally overpaid and we are made of money.

When we're finally close to being done, I'm going to need an enema. So I can stop the hemorrhaging of money on our new house. Or else I'll be moving from the new house to the poor house.

I also need to be ready for the sunshine. Just as long as it steers clear of my a**. I already have enough pain in it.

I Loved You Long Before You Were Born ...

2011-05-15T02:57:00.000-04:00

... before you were even the twinkle in my eye.

... before you were fluttering around in my large, LARGE belly.

... before they were sending me home early on a plane from India because you were way too high risk of a pregnancy.

And now that you're to, you're ~~too~~, you're TWO ... I just can't believe how we managed as long as we did without you.

Happy Birthday Grady Shaw! You're certainly not a baby anymore ...

And Jet Lag Sets In ...

2011-05-10T00:43:00.000-04:00

He's here! We're excited. And for the next two weeks, all is right in our world.

Now if he'd just stay awake later than his daughters ...

I KNOW I Shouldn't Be Surprised ...

2011-05-04T23:43:00.000-04:00

... yet despite working for the USG for 11 years now, I STILL get annoyed when our infamous Human Resources Tech manages to screw up our travel orders.

Since Matt joined the State Department in 2000, we have been blessed with having ...

1 domestic move, 4 international moves, 1 unaccompanied move, 2 layette shipments, 2 consumable shipments, 1 medevac, and have taken advantage of shipping our UAB (unaccompanied air baggage) 9 out of 12 times during our official moves from ...

Los Angeles to New Jersey (2000)
New Jersey to Muscat, Oman (2003)
Muscat, Oman to Los Angeles (2005)
Los Angeles to Washington, DC (2005)
Washington, DC to Tel Aviv, Israel (2005)
Tel Aviv, Israel to Los Angeles (2008)
Los Angeles to Washington, DC (2008)
Washington, DC to Chennai, India (2008)
Chennai, India to Los Angeles (2009)
Los Angeles to Chennai, India (2009)
Chennai, India to Los Angeles (2010)
Los Angeles to Baghdad, Iraq (2010)

HOWEVER, with all of these official moves, not ONCE - NOT ONCE - have his travel orders been correct.

The first time it really affected us was when we departed Muscat, Oman and our orders were so royally screwed up that we left there without them. And in their place? A signed affidavit stating that should we not follow the impending orders, we'd reimburse the USG any monies potentially owed. Yeah ... that was fun.

Due to travel order mishaps, we've since had shipments that didn't make their destination on time, shipments that were ruined, issues with weight (thankfully not mine ...), storage problems, and unbelievable airline quagmires. Most of these have been handled with relative ease either at post or with someone who saw a rant or rave on the USG listserv group in which I belong. As a now-seasoned spouse, I can usually roll with the punches.

That is ... with everything except our travel orders. Not a transfer season, a medevac, a consumable shipment has passed without my blood pressure rising, and a nasty gram sent off. I can usually handle the HR tech's incompetence for the first set of orders. They're never on time, and never correct. By the second, she's probably just overlooked an email or a code. But by the third, and inevitably the fourth, of which I expect to happen by now, I lose my cookies. My alter ego, angry Jill, rears her ugly head, and I quickly move up the chain of command, and send off an email to the head of the entire HR department at State. Whose name, email, and phone number will forever be saved in my address book.

Why oh why does it ALWAYS appear that every transfer season it's as if they're doing this for the first time?

The best part of all of this? Is that usually, this all happens just before Matt leaves on a business trip, a vacation, or a training. See where I'm going with this? As in, one day prior to his departure for his last R&R? Oh yes ... rejected travel orders ... due to a mistake that could have been avoided if his HR tech actually answered his email to her ... about 3 weeks ago.

However, this time I'm not worried about airline tickets, or my California pack-out, Matt's air shipment either. The orders will be amended perfectly in time to get that all squared away. The issue this time is that the orders won't be completed until Matt gets back to Iraq at the end of May, which will delay the shipment to Virginia of our stuff in storage in Belgium. Which is a big deal considering how long I'll potentially be living in a hotel. The stuff at ELSO contains all our dishes, our towels, sheets, furniture, kids toys ... and without it, will keep me hotel bound until its arrival. Which takes approximately two months. Maybe longer during the summer transfer season.

I'm frustrated. I'm perturbed. I'm irked.

However, I know that it'll eventually all be worked out. These mistakes have sadly become the norm. Which is why we manage our expectations by working on things so darn early. To account for the time it takes to fix them. All three, four, and five times. In fact, once we get to Virginia, I'll probably start the process for our next move. Several years early. Just to be on the safe side.

The one positive? I don't think I'll ever see a retirement party as big and bold as the one that will be thrown for this HR tech when she finally does decide to retire. Heck, if it helped move things along, I'd offer to throw it myself...

Inquiring Minds Wanted To Know ...

2011-05-03T00:53:00.000-04:00

I wasn't sure what to expect when I flew out to Virginia last week. Would the house resemble a home? Would I be able to envision a finished product from just the framing? Would I have *gulp* buyers remorse?

Yes ... Yes ... and ABSOLUTELY Not! Whew.

While the trip was extremely quick (I was there less than 36 hours), it was beyond productive. I met with the home inspector on Thursday and spent about three hours in our house and in the model taking measurements. On Friday I met with the builder's contractor to do the pre-drywall inspection, and spent another two hours on site. Amazingly, there was very little that needed to be fixed over the weekend before they begin insulating tomorrow, and begin the dry-wall on Wednesday. We're ahead of schedule people!!

I spent a majority of the rest of my time doing reconnaissance. I scoped out every single grocery store within a 10 mile radius of our house. I located the nearest Starbucks (approx 3 miles). I picked up the registration packets for the girls elementary school. I found the park and ride where Matt may use the commuter bus. I took dinner to a girlfriend in the hospital. I also drove to two shopping malls, found three Home Depot's (where I'm sure I'll get to know everyone by name), and navigated my way to two Synagogue's, one of which was in ... get this ... a strip mall. I don't know why it bothered me so much to see it there. Maybe it was the lack of architecture. Maybe because it was surrounded in an industrial area with bathroom, granite, and builder's design centers. Or maybe it's because they didn't even think about renting next to a Chinese restaurant...

In all, it was a great trip, that has me excited for the future. Which should start somewhere in the next 10 -12 weeks!

L: The Kitchen and Morning Room
R: The view when you first walk into the house

The master bedroom.
View of the recessed lighting and lighting pre-wires.

Matt's *%^$&@*!#* trees
View of our backyard

Synagogue in the strip mall. The one we probably won't be joining.
However, if they put in a drive-thru window, I'd totally order the McTorah.

Riley & Sheridan Run the OC Marathon

2011-04-30T17:34:00.000-04:00

Yes, you read that right. My kids, my not-so-little girlies just finished the Orange County Marathon today. All 26.2 miles!

However ... in all fairness, they started it about 14 weeks ago.

Last quarter their elementary school offered a twice weekly after school running program that was designed to help pre-adolescent kids become more physically fit, promote an active and healthy lifestyle, and combat the onset of childhood obesity... while having fun! By the end of the program they had accumulated the equivalent of 25.2 miles of fun activity and were ready to finish off their own Marathon by completing their final mile at the Kids Run the OC. Which they did. Today.

So without further ado ... here they are in all their glory. I don't have their final times, but according to the announcer, Riley ran her last mile somewhere in the 9 1/2 minute time frame. Sheridan ran hers somewhere around 12 minutes.

I'm SO incredibly proud of their accomplishment. Not enough to get my a** out there running with them... but totally thrilled from the sidelines. Rock on little ladies. Rock ON!

Riley crossing the finish line. On the left in the navy blue shirt.

Sheridan crossing the finish line ... and right after she received her medal.

Like A Well Oiled Machine ...

2011-04-28T01:25:00.000-04:00

Because just when you thought life was getting to be a tad too easy, reality throws you yet another curve ball. And you need to figure out a way to swing.

Case in point. Tonight when this update goes live, you'll find me all ~~smushed~~ snuggled up like a bug in a rug somewhere in a center aisle ... in a center seat ... on a redye flight bound for Virginia.

To check out our house. That is one month ahead of schedule.

I got the phone call from the builder last Tuesday asking if I could make it out there for the pre-drywall walk through on the 29th. "Sure," I exclaimed. "Five weeks to plan out childcare and book my itinerary would be a breeze!" Of course, there was a lot of silence on the other end. "Um ... no Jill. We mean the 29th as in April 29th."

I immediately hung up. I scrambled. I frantically called my in-laws who normally watch the kids when I jet back and forth to Virginia. Unfortunately they had several commitments this week and couldn't help out. And the babysitter I would have used? Also busy. So I called my dad and begged my parents to fly down for the two days. Which they were happy to do. Except that it meant more work on the front end as this is the first time they're watching the kids here. I had to work around their work schedules, they had to work around my flight schedules, and I had to detail the kids crazy afternoon schedules for both days that I'm gone.

But as I sit here now on the plane I'm thankful. For the rather hectic week of planning this trip is over. The semi-clean rental house and squeaky clean kids are in the capable hands of my parents. And this tired mom is getting about the same uncomfortable amount of sleep on the airplane as my parents are now getting in my bed. Except they have newly washed sheets. And me? I'm just lucky that the airplane cleaning crew pseudo-cleaned the seat pocket in front of me and lightly dusted off the ground-in peanuts and goldfish crackers left on my chair.

Frankly, with all the grime and the snorting people around me, I feel at home. Now all I need is a kid to vomit near me and I'm good to go.

Pictures from this whirlwind trip forthcoming.

Turning The Corner ...

2011-04-26T15:57:00.000-04:00

We don't post a calendar in our house. On a good day I'm lucky if we remember what day of the week it is. We often forget to return library books on Wednesday, pack Sheridan's baton on Monday morning, and remember to bring Spanish homework on Tuesday afternoons. We're notoriously late for elementary school and Sunday School. And goodness help me when I forget that Wednesday's are early-out days.

But today? Today we remember.

April 26, 2011.

Nine months to the date that Matt left for Iraq. Two hundred seventy days. Just about the amount of time it takes to "cook" a baby. Or complete a school year.

We normally don't do any countdowns. We don't cross days off our non-existent calendar. We really try hard to stay on track, keep to our schedule, enjoy the days as best we can.

But today? Today, I'm making an exception.

Nine days until Matt comes home on his next and last R&R. Three weeks until Grady's birthday. Six weeks until our pack-out. Six and a half weeks until we move into a hotel. Eight weeks until school ends. Nine weeks until we possibly move to Virginia. Ten weeks until we possibly move into our new home. Thirteen weeks until Matt flies out of Iraq for THE last time, and we start our new chapter together. As a family.

Not that I'm counting or anything.

Her Backpack's Like A Box of Chocolates ...

2011-04-21T01:22:00.000-04:00

... you never quite know what you're going to find.

Almost every day she comes home with oodles of doodles like this ...

The irony here is that her extracurricular "work" is always neat and tidy,
while her classwork is crumpled and stuffed into the side pockets.

Viva Las Vegas!

2011-04-16T01:04:00.000-04:00

As it is tradition for this time of year, last Sunday I packed up the kids in the family truckster and headed East. For Las Vegas.

Just call me Ellen Griswold...

We had originally planned to drive up north to visit my parents during the girls spring break, but due to my dad's convention schedule, we decided to take a detour and visit them in Vegas instead.

Great idea, right? Well ... in theory yes. But reality? Who the hell takes their kids to the Vegas strip for 5 days? Someone who clearly doesn't know anything about Vegas.

See it all started when I asked a few people where to stay with kids. I wanted relatively inexpensive. I wanted kid friendly. I wanted a large room and comfortable amenities.

The answer? Well Circus Circus of course!

So I went online. And I booked it. Four nights in a large room with 2 queen size beds. For a whopping $54 / night! Hooray! Except for one teensy tiny thing. As someone who has ONLY been to Las Vegas one other time in their entire life, and stayed at the Bellagio, let's just say that this hotel not only didn't measure up to my expectations ... I OVERPAID!

Anyone who remotely thought that I'd be OK staying at Circus Circus clearly does NOT know me. Or my girls. It was a pit! The overwhelming smell of cigarettes and stale alcohol singed my nose hair from the minute we walked in. The dark dingy carpets, low light, and no Starbucks in sight pretty much set the tone of our stay. And the circus show that had ONLY one act every forty five minutes was anything BUT a "world class act". Our saving grace was that our room was large and scent-free with the only downfall of a leaky shower that dripped all...day...and... all... night. Bygones.

I'm sure for many, Las Vegas is a destination vacation spot. It probably would have been for me too, had I gone sans kids, or if we managed to get off the strip during our stay. But this trip was purely a location of familial convenience. And our convenience was hanging at the local shopping mall on the day where it was too cold to go swimming. And relaxing at the Aria hotel swimming pool where my parent's stayed, when it was warm enough to don a bathing suit.

Of course it was great to see my parents, and the kids and I truly enjoyed our time with them.

But the best part of the entire trip for me? Trying to explain to the girls why there are a never ending amount of billboards of half-dressed ladies ... and why women dance on stage in just their underwear. Nothing else. Since they already have trouble understanding why I wear underwear that doesn't cover my rear ... they really couldn't fathom that women wore thong underwear on a stage. Where others (aside from their husband's or kids) could see their tushies. That, along with the commentary that their bras that didn't quite cover all that they should led to many a giggle in the backseat.

And in the front seat as well.

Please let this be the last time I see this.

Any of this.

Do You Want A Face Lift ... Lip Implants ... or Lipo For Free?

2011-04-06T02:02:00.000-04:00

Just hire Sheridan to sketch you ... and she'll make sure you look like ~~a whore~~ a million bucks.

Take a look at the girls in her class. Apparently no six year old is complete without makeup and a strapless evening gown. And me? I can't believe how well she captured my inner beauty.

But just in case you aren't sure what your future appearance holds. Never fear. Sheridan is also skilled at age progression. Just look at her self-portrait ...

I'm just relieved to see there's no booking number underneath it ...

It's Only A Matter Of Time Before I Hear Those Five Dreadful Words Again ...

2011-04-03T23:35:00.000-04:00

.... Your Card Has Been Declined.

Without fail, every month for the past eight years our one and ONLY credit card has been temporarily suspended due to suspected fraudulent activity. Regardless of how many times I informed the company that we were living outside the US, how many emails and letters I sent, or how many times the company SWORE that it would NEVER happen again, it did. Like clockwork. About four weeks later. And it always happened with the most frivolous of charges and at the MOST inopportune time.

As frustrating as it is when your credit card is continually suspended, you begin to get used to it. You just know that once you make a $4 charge at AliBaba's Schwarma House in Oman you're going to get the red flag on your next Nordstrom internet order back in the US. You also know that the minute you touch down on your month-long R&R trip in California, you have four, maybe five minuscule charges at Target, Old Navy and the nail salon before you're faced with your card being held on contempt. You can't help but get upset. Get angry. Shake your head in amazement ... every single time it happens. But after a few years, you no longer yell (as loudly) at the poor fraud alert customer service person who asks you repeatedly inane questions about the county you lived in back in 1993. Instead, you just add the 1-800 number to your speed dial as you know you'll be calling monthly for them to unlock your card.

So imagine my surprise this week when the phone calls from "said" credit card company DIDN'T come. When I went into store after store charging several of the big ticket items on the card for our new house ... spending FAR more than I've EVER spent in a three month period ... all in a three day period.

Because over this past weekend the girls had the time of their life, as THEY picked out their new beds ... for their new rooms ... in their new home.

No Drexel Heritage brown headboard for them for the next several years. No sirree. It is all about the white washed, bead board beds. The finials. The funky legs. The frilly flower inlays. And the canopies that made their hearts swoon.

Three visits to the kids bedroom furniture store that my cousin recommended. Including a scouting trip to take pictures, a two and a half hour trip there on Saturday afternoon with the kids to choose and pay for the bedroom sets, and THEN a follow up trip Sunday morning to change the bed that the eldest daughter decided she wanted the previous evening to an entirely different style of bed. And we are done!

These are the beds that they chose. For the beginning of their new lives. A small decision that mattered far more to them than it did to me. And I couldn't be happier with their decisions. Because they owned them. And my credit card too.

I'll just hold my breath for the next few purchases. Because I know what's coming. And my speed dial is ready ...

L to R ...
Sheridan's bed shown as a sleigh bed, though the one she chose is the same design with a higher, straighter headboard and finials. Grady's bed (shown in brown but we ordered it in blue).
And Riley's bed. Shown w/o her because I had to go back and order THIS one instead of the one she chose and photographed on yesterday.

Did You Hear The One Where I Told Grady To Go Play With His Balls?

2011-03-31T23:04:00.000-04:00

Yeah ... I really did. And I really meant it. Just not quite the way it was interpreted...

See, he was trying to run outside, and in order to keep him corralled I suggested he stay inside and play with his balls ... his soccer balls.

Whatever it was ... the double entendre, the Freudian slip ... I laughed at myself like a teenage girl for much longer than was socially acceptable.

Why? Because ... boys are gross.

For the past 22 months I've been asked if I notice any differences between having boys and girls. And up until recently I really hadn't. Sure, I have to make sure I remember to angle Grady "down" so I don't have pish coming out the top of the diaper. But other than that? He sings the same songs the girls do (and did at that age). He plays with the same toys that they do (Barbies, high heeled shoes, horses and cars). He'll even sit with them and read books.

However, though he plays with THE same toys IN the same way, I have noticed in the past few months that his mannerisms are ALL boy.

It's as if he automatically knows that the second his diaper comes off for a bath or a diaper change, it's time to grab his nether regions like he's vying for a gold medal in the new Olympic sport of penis pulling and testicle tugging. He also knows that sleeves are solely for wiping noses and shirts are unlimited napkins. Sir Edmund Hillary? Eh ... he has nothing on this little climber, who amazingly scales every single thing in his path.

He throws. He hits. He screams. He runs around. He laughs. He does it all again. And again. And again. The boy is full of energy. More energy than I remember the girls having at that age. He keeps me busy. He keeps me very, very busy.

But the biggest noticeable difference between the girls and my little man?

He sure does love to play with balls.

Whoever Said Moving Domestically Was Easy ... LIED!

2011-03-29T15:22:00.000-04:00

So here's what I know from my conference call with the builder, the contractor, and my real estate agent yesterday. We have foundation. Lumber is getting delivered next Monday. And framing starts Tuesday.

Here's what I also know. This domestic move has more nomadic parts than any international move I've had. COMBINED!

Why?

Because though the support I get from the State Department is often more frustrating than helpful, they're actually responsible for handling some of it. *insert eye rolling here on how much they're supposed to do versus how much they really do.*

And right now? I am the one who has to coordinate ABSOLUTELY everything ... and it's much more time consuming than even I had anticipated.

Our initial plan when Matt left for Iraq was to meet in Virginia in the winter time, decide on an area to live, buy a house in the spring, and then move in once school ended.

However, as we all know, that's not entirely what transpired. So instead of moving out of this rental house in mid-June and directly into our new home, we're now heading to a hotel ... though we're not exactly sure where ... or how long we'll be there ... or what state we'll be in ... while we wait for our brand new home to be built.

I'm not really complaining **cough ... bullsh*t**. I'm just busy. So if you don't hear from me in the next few weeks ... here's what I'm doing:

* Schedule / coordinate mover for early June - get house and personal items organized.

* Sell items on Craigslist. Restrain self from selling Sheridan.

* Purchase furniture for new house ... bedroom furniture for kids, kitchen table, dining table, and leather L-Shaped sofa.

* Coordinate all new furniture items delivered before pack-out date.

* Find money tree.

* Take kids to Las Vegas for spring break.

* Solidify home loan.

* Work on California tax issue.

* Find hotel in CA. With a kitchenette. That falls under the USG TSMA rate.

* Find hotel in VA. With a kitchenette. That falls under the USG per diem rate.

* Summer camp? Where?

* Ship car or drive to VA?

* Map our trip to VA if driving.

* Stop for several triple grande caramel macchiattos. And wine.

* Coordinate delivery of storage items from Maryland, and Belgium.

* Buy car for Matthew

* Decide what to pack in bags for the 2 - 3 months in hotels.

* Enroll girls in school next year.

* Find preschool for Grady.

* Eat remaining Girl Scout cookies.

And hope that when the builder emphatically states that barring any weather or unforeseeable issues, that the house will be finished by the end of July/first week in August, that he's really done by the end of August. Because let's be real folks, it'll take me that long just to get through the list.

In Sheridan We Trust?

2011-03-25T12:54:00.000-04:00

Oh I sure wish these actually worked ... because I need a lot of them. Especially now that our house in Virginia finally has foundation, and framing starts next week.

Does This New Look Make My Butt Look Big?

2011-03-23T00:10:00.000-04:00

What new look you ask?

Well ... my face lift of course.

You didn't know I was having a face lift? That's okay, nobody did.

Because it wasn't really me that was having the makeover. It was my blog.

And doesn't it look GRAND?

My friend Cynthia at Nap Warden Designs is the one to thank for my amazing transformation. I've known her for several years and have always loved her work. And when I met and hung out with her last year at BlogHer, I knew that one day, she'd be giving me my fresh new look.

While I still have a few things I want to tweak, to update, to add, I just couldn't wait to share it with everyone.

So go ahead ... tell me what you think. Just don't tell me that my butt looks big.

For those of you who get the updates delivered to you in an email ... click here to take a peek. You'll be glad you did.

A Milestone I Could Have Done Without

2011-03-19T15:30:00.000-04:00

Imagine waking up to this. Clothes discarded. Diaper discarded. Freak-out Ensuing.

And yes ... it WAS dirty.

EVERYTHING was dirty.

Everything.

Picture intentionally blurry to protect the guilty.

40 Is The NEW 30 ...

2011-03-14T23:00:00.000-04:00

... or so I keep telling Matthew.

Who today, March 15th, is celebrating this milestone birthday.

For the past year I have been dreaming about throwing him a kick-a** party, sending him on a all-guys vacation, surrounding him with lavish gifts. But ... being 8000 miles away makes it quite difficult.

So I started brainstorming. Thinking of a way to commemorate this very special day despite not being together. And I realized there was one thing I could do.

Bring the party to him.

So, without further ado ...

Turn up your speakers. Put on your party hats. And enjoy this amazingly orchestrated 40th birthday tribute from ALL around the world. To a man, who like a fine wine, only gets better with age.

Happy 40th birthday Matthew. I love you ...

As a side note ... you can click the arrow button on the right-side bottom of the video to watch it in full screen!
And if an ad pops up, just click it once and it'll go away. Happy watching...

Here's How I Spent MY Saturday ...

2011-03-12T23:07:00.000-05:00

... filing a police report for the break-in of my car and detached garage.

Unfortunately, late last night or early this morning someone broke into my car. Since a majority of the time I leave my car parked directly beside the garage because it's such a tight fit, I guess it was only a matter of time.

I immediately knew something was wrong when I walked outside around 10:30 am and noticed that the garage door was open. I know I didn't leave it open yesterday. And really ... my neighborhood is so nosy that if it was open with all the lights off, somebody would have knocked on my door and told me to close it. After looking around to see if anything was missing, I closed the door from inside the garage, walked out our gate, and put Grady in the car. I then saw that my driver's seat was moved all the way forward, almost touching the steering wheel.

But the kicker was when I climbed into my seat and immediately reached down for my brand new sunglasses that were no longer there, and then reached up to my visor to open up the garage door to look inside for them ... and the remote to the garage door was gone too.

Surprisingly, nothing else was missing. The quarters for the parking meters were still piled high in the console. The large sleeve of DVDs for the kids was exactly where we left it. The bags of clothes to be returned to stores like Gap, Banana Republic, and Target were still strewn around the backseat. I was perplexed.

I called the Newport Beach Police Department and reported the crime. I seriously have no clue how they got into the car. They didn't break the window. It doesn't look like they used a slim jim. But I'm positive that I locked the car when I went into the house yesterday. I'm positive! I mean, I think I'm positive...

The fact remains that I'm now missing the sunglasses that I bought while Matt was in town. And I have to deal with getting a new garage remote, re-programing it to a new setting, and have the side door to the garage re-keyed as the burglars appear to have broken something off in the lock, and my key no longer goes fits ... The landlord knows all about it now. I've sent several text messages and followed up with a phone call. She told me that she'll talk with her husband and take care of things. She also mentioned that her neighbor had her car broken into this morning as well, and the police told her there were a rash of break-ins this morning in our neighborhood.

Armed with this knowledge, let's just see how long it takes her to react. So far, I never received a return phone call or text message. Nor do I have a new remote, new lock, or new key.

Tonight I think I'll be skipping the Trader Joe's marinated garlic mushrooms and going straight for the big guns.

Left over Girl Scout Cookies...

(post edited to remind everyone that according to the girls there WAS a bright side ... The thief thankfully didn't find their bubble gum or play horse in the backseat ... otherwise I would have had to replace them. Whew! I was lucky ...)

Trader Joe's Marinated Garlic Mushrooms Make Everything Better ...

2011-03-12T01:46:00.000-05:00

So does seeing this sheepish grin on Sheridan's face after she put on her oh-so stylish outfit. And her boots. Don't overlook the sassy boots.

It's been a week ... a doozy of a week. And I'm tired.

... The baby cr*pped in the shower tonight.

... A friend has been going through personal struggles which have me sad and sleepless.

... I have a never ending cough.

... The girls have been fighting. Ugh the fighting. The time-outs. The missing movie night.

... The dog escaped from the yard. Again. She wandered several blocks away and was returned by a neighbor.

... And the girl's school, located directly on the beach, was canceled today due to the tsunami warning.

But after taking a few deep breaths, I reminded myself that I appreciated many things too. Like my friends ...

... And P.F. Changs.

... And sorority sisters.

... And for babysitting in-laws.

... And day-care.

... And Skype.

... And Words with Friends.

... And an email from the builder stating that our house should be underway in the next few weeks.

... And for Facebook ... with its ability to reach out to friends in Japan and surrounding countries to find out if they were OK after yesterday's devastation.

But most of all? I'm truly thankful that I didn't have to share the garlic mushrooms.

I Won The Lottery ...

2011-03-09T03:00:00.000-05:00

... or so it feels.

After 21+ months, I finally figured out a way to keep this busy boy occupied for more than 2 minutes at a time.

Please give a BIG round of applause to ... the iPod.

The only problem now is that he thinks it's his ... and sadly, I think he's probably right.

May I Have A Drumroll Please ...

2011-03-03T23:39:00.000-05:00

The Grand Totals for the GREAT Girl Scout Cookie Sale Are In. Here's what we've done over the past month ...

... 11 trips to the Post Office

... 38 flat rate, priority, and parcel post boxes sent

... 30 custom forms filled out

... $635 spent in postage (of which I subsidized about 1/4)

for a WHOPPING total of 442 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies Sold

20 different countries ... including Iraq, Kuwait, Jordan, Barbados, Benin, Philippines, Uruguay, Venezuela, Burundi, India, Afghanistan, Turkey, Thailand, Gabon, Nicaragua, Mexico, Malawi, Ecuador, England, and Indonesia.

Thanks to everyone who ordered cookies. We hope you enjoyed them!

The Elephant In The Room

2011-02-28T12:42:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day in almost one month where I had the entire house to myself. With Matt home from Baghdad for 2.5 weeks, then school closed for ski-week, our tiny house went from overflowing with laughter and family and fun ... to piling up with dishes and laundry and messes. I longed for the day where I wouldn't have to entertain anyone. So instead of waking up early and getting ready before I dropped everyone off at their respective schools, I decided to wait until I could enjoy my primping in peace.

I took a LONG shower. I wanted to enjoy my time alone. Without anybody screaming, "MOMMY!" Without anyone banging on the door asking if they can come into the bathroom. Without worrying that someone would flush the toilet and THEN warn me after wards that the water might get a tad too hot.

I angled the shower nozzle to hit my lower back, and I instantly felt the stress being chiseled away by the hot water, ever so slowly washing down the drain. From the moment I stepped in, my mind began racing, filling, streaming with thoughts and images I couldn't begin to organize. Though, as I scrambled for the wall markers left by the girls in the corners of the shower to write them down, I discover they were out of ink and were just cluttering the floor. Perhaps a symbol for the heavy thoughts that were clouding my brain.

I don't know how long I was standing there. Long enough to keep increasing the temperature so I could stay warmer longer and for my fingers to turn into prunes. Long enough to formulate answers on a topic that continues to arise, and is by far one of the most widely discussed behind closed doors ... yet is increasingly hush-hush.

I'm talking about ... Choices. I'm talking about ... Trust. I'm talking about ... Infidelity.

Last year when we made the announcement about Matt's unaccompanied tour, I can't begin to tell you how many friends raised their eyebrows and gave me "the look." Not the look that says we're crazy to be separated the year. But the look that silently asks me if I trust him spending a year apart from us.

Surprisingly, I am still met with this look on a regular basis. No longer from friends. But from new people I meet in town. People who hear about us through the grapevine. People who just can't believe that any spouse could be separated for that long, live in a place where there other would never find out what really happened, and stay faithful.

And my retort? After 7 months of him being gone, it honestly has NEVER once crossed my mind that he would do anything inappropriate and that would jeopardize our marriage. Period.

However it's common knowledge that infidelity happens. Frequently. It's a very real concern, and to repress it or belittle it, is doing a disservice. The reality is ... if there are issues in your relationship with your partner, an unaccompanied tour will exacerbate it. If there are cracks in your foundation, the tour will then provide the opportunity.

Most importantly, the onus is on the employee to provide the level of comfort to the home-bound spouse. Because not only are the spouses worrying about their husband or wife's safety, but they're also worrying if they're making good decisions. There are inherent levels of trust when one is away. Trust that is not a right, but rather has to be earned.

Matt, admittedly so, has had his own shortcomings early on in his career. Opportunities where he failed to recognize, appreciate, and acknowledge the role I played in this lifestyle, which would eliminate any fears or stresses in our relationship. Throughout our 10+ years with the organization, we've dealt with some very high highs and some extremely low lows. He's had to work at saving our marriage. To demonstrate to me that I am the love of his life, and that he'd never jeopardize or consider ruining it over something completely frivolous.

Before Matt left for Iraq, the State Department provided us with loads of resources on how to handle the separation. From community chat groups, playgroups, monthly courses with other spouses, to blogs and information on wills and health services, and everything else that Matt would encounter once he got to Iraq. But the one piece of information they neglected to hand out, was the pamphlet on what to do if you discover your spouse is cheating.

Sure, it's not exactly "Temptation Island" over there (Iraq, Afghanistan or Pakistan). But people are still engaging in sex. Married men AND women. We've all heard the saying, "What happens in ___, stays in ___". And for the most part, it does. Because who really wants to know that their spouse is being unfaithful. Or worse. Who really wants to tell a friend that they know THEIR spouse is having extramarital relations? Where's the counseling session on that topic?

I know firsthand that there are consequences. I've seen several people throughout the years ruin their corridor reputation that both precedes and succeeds you at a post. I've even seen people sent back to the U.S. for inappropriate conduct. Why take the chance? Despite the State Department being so big, it's actually a small, small community. You always run into the same people ... with its six degrees of separation.

The blemishes these unaccompanied tours already leave on a marriage can be huge. Collateral damage if you will. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the bombs, guns, and explosions. Missed anniversaries and birthdays, new beginnings and special occasions. An anxiety ridden spouse can leave as equally a bad scar.

And then there are those whose relationships not only weather, but grow from the year apart. The ones who are completely open and honest and have a new appreciation for what their spouse handles and goes through. The relationships that flourish because of strong bonds, support, and reciprocated trust. The many, who at the end of the day can breath a sigh of relief, knowing that the small speed bump of this year apart will do nothing more than increase their finances and maintain their sanity.

In the end, I always pose the daily question, "Are you making good choices?"

And admittedly though we are ... I know that tomorrow, I need to let everyone else's elephants clear the room ... and take a shorter shower.

All Good Things Must Come To An End

2011-02-27T01:19:00.000-05:00

We have now entered Operation: "Get these tasty treats the HECK out of my house, because my a** about to explode!!!"

In the past four weeks Riley has sold almost 400 boxes of Girl Scout cookies to an amazing amount of State Department Personnel overseas. She has outfitted entire Embassies and Consulates. Sold individual boxes to friends and family. And attached hand-written notes in every package.

But we are nearing the end.

I'm done making trips to the post office. I'm done labeling customs forms. I'm done making thrice-weekly trips to pick up additional cases of cookies.

Whoever wants Girl Scout cookies needs to contact me by March 1 ... or forever hold your peace. I'll send out however many you, your family, your overseas posting would like ... for the next three days.

Want to order cookies, but you don't really want them for yourself? If you're feeling really generous, you can also donate money towards purchasing cookies for those in Iraq, Afghanistan, or Pakistan. I have addresses for people serving there, and I'm sure they'd love a surprise box or two!

Click here to donate via PayPal ... just click "send money" ... put in my email address ... mjperlman@me.com ... and decide how much you want to send. Need a reminder? The cookies are $4 a box. I'll package the cookies and send them out no later than Wednesday.

Want to see the original posting where I give you the breakdown of everything available ... or what to do to order cookies for your overseas posting? Go here ...

My tush, thighs, and stomach are thanking you for ordering!

Worth The Read!!

2011-02-25T13:39:00.000-05:00

Do you know what's going on in the world around you? Are you staying abreast of the proposed tax cuts for us Foreign Service workers? Has the earthquake in New Zealand and its aftermath tugged at your heart strings lately? How up-to-date are you on the craziness in Libya? The evacuations in Cairo and Tunisia? The shooting at the Embassy in Bangkok?

Every Friday a Foreign Service blogger hosts the "Weekly Roundup", and spends countless hours compiling news recaps and tidbits of everything going on in the blogosphere around world. While many weeks the themes are lighthearted, filled with amazing adventures and gorgeous pictures, just like this week, there are often nitty gritty posts that are emotional, hit hard, and get you thinking. So much of what happens in the Federal Government and in our U.S. Embassies and Consulates abroad affect more than just us Government employees...

If you have the time, you should absolutely check these out. And stay tuned ... one of these days I'll be hosting it myself.

It May Not Be THE Happiest Place On Earth ...

2011-02-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

... But it was certainly the happiest place we could go during the girls week-long school break.

We. Had. FUN. A much needed great time.

BTW, many thanks for all your concern about Matt's travels back to Iraq. He surprisingly caught the last flight out from Kuwait to Iraq before they locked down the Embassy for the protests.
He's "home" ... and he's back in the grind.

The Long Road

2011-02-23T13:31:00.002-05:00

The forty-five mile drive to the airport is probably the longest hour of our lives. What more can you possibly say to each other that hasn't been said in the past three weeks ... or even since you went to bed just five hours ago?

We drive along. Making small talk. Gibbering away at the menusha, that frankly, I know I won't even remember once I kiss him good-bye at the curb.

The tears didn't come until he took his bag out of the trunk of my car. Until he whispered in my ear about how much he hates leaving. Me too. Meeee toooooo. I'm usually fine with our decision until he leaves and I have the reminders of what-just-was ... and what-won't-be for another few months again. Amazing how quickly the loneliness jumps out and bites you in the tush.

But I quickly dry my eyes because I need to drive home. To get home. By way of Starbucks of course. To pick up my infamous triple grande caramel macchiatto ... and two chocolate croissants. For the girls...

Back to the grind we were forced to go. Which would have been just fine had I not received a phone call from Matt once he arrived in DC with the craziest of news. Apparently, the unrest in the Middle East, that has affected so many of our friends, has finally begun to affect Iraq. And while that wouldn't be a problem once he GOT there, it IS a problem when you're stranded and you can't get IN there. All Military Air flights have been canceled for the next several days.

Had they sent the email just a few hours prior, Matt could have been stranded here. Instead, he was heading into an unknown situation. Would he be able to sneak on a flight back to Baghdad? Would he have to stay in Kuwait? It was 1 am in Jordan by the time we heard any of this, and thus couldn't reach anyone via the emergency travel number to discuss changing his flights. And not knowing what the situation might really be once he arrived in Kuwait, was forced to take his chances and fly out.

Now we wait. As I'm well trained to do. Though I'll admit, sometimes aspects of this lifestyle just aren't easy ... and this long road feels today, like it has no exits ...

Coming Up For Air ... Briefly

2011-02-17T00:44:00.001-05:00

Matt has been on his 2nd R&R for almost two weeks now, and I can safely say that when he's here there's NEVER a dull moment. Of course, I can also admit there's never a dull moment when he isn't here either. Go figure, eh?

As we've been so busy during his time home, I've neglected to fill you in on all the fun we've been having. Here's the latest from Casa de Chaos ...

* This past weekend we celebrated Riley's 8th birthday on our first ever snow ski trip to Mammoth Mountain. It was no Singapore trip ... but it was definitely a memorable vacation! Why? Because not only did we ... caravan with our cousins on the 7+ hour car ride, endure complete and utter frustration when trying to outfit our kids with skis and boots on our first day, spend an absolute fortune purchasing tickets, rentals, and enrolling kids in private ski lessons ...
BUT ... we also had the unfortunate Perlman Family illness finally catch up with Matt on the second day, which left him hugging the porcelain gawd for several hours, and kept him hotel-bound instead of snow-bound on our last day. (Which really sucked for him because the second day of skiing rocked!)

* What Perlman Family illness do I speak of? The one that in a matter of hours hits like a ton of bricks. Where you find yourself dizzy. Nauseous. And you lay on the couch all day, because you've puked your guts out all night, kind of illness. It started with Grady and Riley on Superbowl Sunday. You know, the second day after Matt arrived in town? The next day I got it... and it knocked me on my tush. Two days later, Sheridan got it. And we thought we were all in the clear. Until three days later when Matt got it in Mammoth.

* Matt also came down with a cold. A "Man-Cold". Need I say more?

* I coerced Matt into a few doctor's appointments this trip. First, I took him to see the ophthalmologist to get a new pair of glasses ... but he left there with contacts. A different one for each eye. One contact corrects his near sightedness, while the other contact corrects his astigmatism. Then I took him to the dermatologist. To ~~fry~~ laser the blood vessels on his nose. Like wife ... like husband. We're both trying to look our Sunday best.

* Libby went to the vet for a check-up and did not leave with the clean bill of health we expected. After a complete once-over and blood test, the vet told me that not only is she geriatric ... but she's showing signs of losing her vision, she has awful arthritis, she has bad allergies, she has a yeast infection on her skin ... AND her blood results came back showing that she has a parasite and a thyroid disease. Just like me. The thyroid disease, not the parasite. Maybe it's hereditary? Several hundred dollars, and five medications later we left. Though not for long I'm sure...

* On top of all the illnesses and appointments, we've also been to every single Target, REI, Sports Authority and Sears all over the Orange County area ... I'm almost to the point where I'm shopped out. Almost.

* Oh and don't forget the Girl Scout Cookies that we've been boxing up and shipping out on a daily basis. Hundreds and hundreds of boxes of cookies. We really need to sell a few more, because keeping this many cookies at the house is not good for my thighs. I. Just. Can't. Turn. Down. Peanut. Butter. Patties...

But in spite or despite all the craziness that continues to follow us around, dealing with the frustrating California tax issue, working on our mortgage information on our new house, filing our tax return, schlepping to and from every after school activity, and everything else that has come our way ... we're having a blast with Matt in town and will be so sad to see him leave next week.

Let's just hope his "Man-Cold" goes away before he does. *Ahem*

Please forgive my absence on email, facebook, the blogosphere these past few weeks. With Matt in town, I have little time online ... Catch up with y'all later next week ~ after the kids school break!

Getting By With A Little Help From My Friends ...

2011-02-05T01:47:00.000-05:00

While we may never have met in person, we've formed a bond because of the common experiences that bring us together. We know that despite the best planning, that things can (and in our case will) go awry, and somebody else will benefit from laughing at with me in the future. We feel confident that when an international SOS goes out, we know someone will answer it. That all the networking we've ever done through blogging, and AAFSW, and yahoo groups, and Facebook, and twitter, and through the friend of a friend of a friend ... will all pay off.

I met Matthew early this morning in Washington, D.C. and heard the long, drawn out story, of how he nearly missed his flight and ended up having to pay for his airline ticket on our credit card. Without going into the sordid details, the facts were that his ticket was voided, and the travel department where the ticket originated, and needed to be reissued, was in Jordan. Without a contact number or international cell service or an airline ticket to get us to Los Angeles, we were stuck in limbo.

That is ... until I emailed two girlfriends who LIVE in Jordan, and begged them for help. Less than an hour later, I received word back from one of them saying that she was able to get in touch with someone at the Embassy who took our information and would forward it on to the travel department. Three emails and thirty minutes later, she was assured that we were being taken care of, ten hours away in D.C.

Now, in the meantime of waiting for my girlfriend's replies, I discovered that I indeed had international cell service on my iPhone, and was able to get in touch with the travel department myself. In fact, I was on the phone with them at the same time my friend was being assured that our problems were being addressed.

While it seemed like an eternity, in less than two hours Matt's ticket issues were resolved, and he received an email stating that he'd be reimbursed for his out-of-pocket expenses. Whew!

But more importantly, I was reminded that ... despite distance, despite tenure, despite experience ... this foreign service community is one to rely on ... to come to in times of need. Occasionally it may feel a bit like high school, where toes can get stepped on, and feelings hurt. But in the end, the bonds that we create along this winding, and sometimes treacherous path, are some of the strongest we'll ever encounter.

Just check out their own stories under the FS links on the sidebar of my blog ...

(kindly let me know if I'm missing you and you'd like to be added)

Can Anyone Spare $8789?

2011-02-03T20:40:00.000-05:00

Because that's what the letter that I received from the Franchise Tax Board in the State of California says we owe for 2008 taxes.

Taxes that are to be paid in a State we've haven't worked OR resided in since 2000.

And with a payment due date of less than two weeks away and a "threat" that if it's not paid within thirty days of the date of the notice, that we could have a state tax lien filed, well.... Think I'm a tad stressed? Um... yeah. Especially since this comes on the heels of obtaining a mortgage for our new home, and I don't need anything messing with our credit.

I know we don't owe the money ... nor am I going to pay the money ... but I'm just not convinced that this is going to go away as quickly and swiftly as I'd like.

To compound my frustration, when Matt checked in for his flight from Kuwait to DC today, he ended up paying for his R&R ticket on our credit card due to a HUGE snafu with the Government travel agent. Sadly we've been wrestling with making the correct flight arrangements for several weeks, despite this agent continually making a mess of Matt's entire itinerary, and only a few days ago finally issuing his ticket.

Of course, when he went to get on the plane today, the airline had no record of his paid seat ... and instead only showed a canceled itinerary. Insert my angry face here.

But on a lighter note, I got rid of the red zebra stripes in my hair today, and after two hours in the hair salon, I am now back to my beautiful brunette color. However, I can't show you a picture of my new 'do because then you'd see my nose, and it's still pretty gnarly.

T-minus 12 hours until I see Matt ... in Virginia.

I'm taking the red-eye and will be there for a whirlwind 12 hours ... where we'll sign some papers, solidify the upgrades, and then hop on a flight together back to Los Angeles tomorrow night.

After almost three months apart, I just hope that we can possibly splurge on a little more than McDonald's for lunch tomorrow. You know ... after spending $8789 on back-taxes (that we don't owe), $4000 on an R&R airline ticket (that should have been paid for), and more than we'll admit on our new home ... we're kinda broke.

And Then ... This Is What SHE Did

2011-02-02T01:01:00.000-05:00

... after refusing to get out of her bed this morning once she read the letter the tooth fairy left her last night.

... after being threatened that if she didn't get dressed for school that I'd drop her off in her nightgown and robe.

... after coming home from school and having to serve another time-out for throwing a fit in the car.

Who knows if she really means it. Or if she just wants the money...

Oh Yes ... I Sure Did!

2011-02-01T03:05:00.000-05:00

From This ...

To This ...

And Ending With This ...

Who knows if this will have any impact... aside from the hysterical meltdown I'm sure to endure tomorrow morning when she comes screaming into my room.

But it's a chance to redeem myself after last week.

At least I know that one of us is feeling pretty good about our choices...

The Girl Scout Cookies Are Here ... And We'll Ship Them ANYWHERE!

2011-01-29T23:12:00.000-05:00

Who knew that selling Girl Scout Cookies would be AS big of a business as it apparently is here in Newport Beach? Our Brownie troop sent out email message after email message detailing the where, how, why, and to whom we're allowed to sell.... and followed up with an HOUR-LONG meeting where we were read the riot act about discussing cookie sales anywhere publicly prior to today.

So like the good little girl that I am, I waited.... thought it was very hard! Because who doesn't love Girl Scout Cookies? Those tasty little treats just sell themselves.

However, today is all of our lucky days! Because while I've been anxiously awaiting the opportunity to not only purchase them for myself ... I can finally let you all know that Riley is open for business, and I'm ready to ship them ANYWHERE in the world...

I am willing to outfit your entire Embassy, your Consulate, your school, your religious group, your household staff, your expat friends, and anyone else you can think of with delicious Girl Scout Cookies ... just pass along my info - and I'll ship away!

The cookies are all $4 a box, and the list of the types of cookies is down below.

I will be shipping the cookies to our overseas friends in the USPS Flat Rate boxes. The APO/FPO rate is $12.95 for a 12" x 12" x 5 1/2" box ... and I can fit 8 boxes of cookies in them.

I will be shipping the cookies to our domestic friends in either the Medium or Large USPS Flat Rate Boxes (depending on how many boxes you purchase). The Medium box is $10.95 and the Large is $14.95.

BUT, I'll even cut y'all a deal. You pick up the first $10 of the shipping per box, and I'll pay the difference!

Here's How To Order:

a) You can either leave me a comment at the end of the posting letting me know you'd like to order .... and exactly how many of each kind you'd like!

AND / OR

b) Send me your order and your shipping address info in a personal email to mjperlman@me.com

And Then ...

c) Pay for your cookies via my PayPal account ... which is fast, easy, and you don't need to have an account of your own. PayPal accepts most major credit cards! Click here to go to PayPal ... and then enter in my email address (mjperlman@me.com) to send me the money. It's instantaneous - so once I receive it, I'll send you a confirmation email letting you know that you're good to go!

But ...

d) Don't forget to add in the $10 for your shipping (per box) ...

Once I have your completed order, your address, your money for the cookies AND shipping ... I'll have Riley help me package them up, and we'll ship them within 2 days!

Happy Ordering!

p.s. Please note that I can not take responsibility for how the postal service or the "pouch people" handle the boxes. I will package them up as carefully as can be... but once they leave my hands, I can not be responsible for how they make it to you...

p.s.s. For any of you who are overseas and are NOT affiliated with an American Embassy / Consulate, please contact me at my email address and we'll work out how to ship the cookies to you too!

It May Not Look Like It Now ...

2011-01-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

... But I swear it IS worth it...

I went for my third, and probably final, Rosacea laser treatment today. Laser treatment that really is reducing the redness on my nose ...

However, today's appointment left me looking like I was beaten with the ugly stick... WAY too many times.

37 laser pulses of medium-high intensity covered every spot on my nose.

And now I'm swollen. I'm bruised. I'm in a wee bit more pain than I was last time.

But I have vision. I know that once my nose heals, the redness will be significantly reduced. I will have achieved the relatively desired results.

For now, I just have to get past looking like a relative of Rocky Balboa ...

Left: Just before the procedure
Right: About 30 seconds after I took off my eye goggles

Left: Twenty minutes after the treatment
Right: About 11 hours later

The Day I've Been Waiting For ...

2011-01-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

... for 4 1/2 YEARS was today. The day that Sheridan FINALLY lost the tooth that she chipped when she fell down the stairs in Israel. After she spiked a high fever. Had a febrile seizure. Frothed at the mouth. And was rushed to the ER. The night of the big 4th of July party at the Ambassador's house. Where Matt was actually sent home by the Medical Unit to be with us.

Yeah, this was clearly a memory that stands out in my mind.

One that is just as vibrant as how the tooth made its way into the envelope for the tooth fairy tonight.

Sheridan was sent to bed early this evening. VERY early due to behavior these last few days that has driven me near the brink of insanity. See, she fooled around way past her bedtime last night. Decided NOT to sleep on her bed, but rather on the floor. Annoyed her sister. Jumped all around in the dark. Then cracked AND chipped one of her few PERMANENT teeth on the side of the bed. Followed that scream-fest with the next hysteria that her braid "just fell out." And wouldn't go back to bed until she put band-aids on every conceivable scratch that she saw from her elbows to her toes.

I may have had an extra cocktail last night ...

She then picked up this morning where she left off last night by throwing fits about her hair. Not being able to "play" before school. Forgetting to attach her lunch bag to her backpack. Not finding her jacket. And of course, getting upset that I didn't remind her to put her shoes on before we walked out the door.

I. Was. Done...

So, I instituted a new bedtime for Sheridan. One that would have her going to bed far earlier than her sister, and would give her time to chit chat to herself and fall asleep before Riley came into the room.

In theory that is...

In reality? She WENT to bed early... after threats that 'everything in life she cared about would be taken away from her' were spoken through clenched teeth. Though she didn't stay in there for long. Because instead of relaxing and trying to fall asleep, she spent the next 25 minutes wiggling her tooth. Wiggling and tugging. Tugging and wiggling. Until the tooth, that was NOT ready to fall out any time soon, was grasped tightly in her sweaty little hands. And blood was dripping out of her mouth.

And now? Now she had to spend the next ten minutes stopping the blood, and writing her letter to the tooth fairy. Which she ~~ecxsididely~~ excitedly did before going to bed.

However ... I was left with one BIG problem. I only have a $20 bill. And "I" refuse to reward her with that large sum of money for her crappy behavior. Even if I have been waiting ever-so-impatiently for that ugly tooth to finally fall out.

Such a dilemma...

I'm guessing that writing a check would be kinda obvious?

Is The Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

2011-01-27T00:30:00.000-05:00

Today marks exactly six months to the day that Matt has been in Baghdad, Iraq.

180 days behind us. 180 days to go.

Sometimes it feels like the time has gone by so fast that I know when I blink my eyes we'll be moving into our new house in Virginia. And other times, the days drag on so slowly that I literally count the minutes until it's time to put all three kids to bed.

I've learned a lot about myself in Matt's absence. I enjoy having total clicker control and have a renewed adoration for chick flick TV. I love to sleep diagonal in the bed. I don't miss the extra laundry. It takes me about two months to go through a large tube of toothpaste, and about three months to go through one bottle of shampoo. Oh, and I'll never get white slip covers for the couches.

I also discovered when I don't get any breaks, that my patience is sadly very thin. I've managed to make-do with our simple meal preparations, but really yearn for someone to appreciate the effort I go through to get a well balanced dinner on the table. In fact, there's a huge void in our house of grandiose dinners and at-home entertaining. And as much as I can handle just about anything ... I don't always look forward to doing it alone.

That's really where the biggest challenge of our separation comes into play. Being apart from Matt is very lonely. Sure we talk every single day. Sometimes twice a day. Or four times a day when we were house hunting. We Skype as often as the girls are willing to sit still (read ... not very). We email every day. But from about 7 pm until I go to bed, I feel the void. I feel it even more when I lay down every single night in my lumpy queen sized bed. Alone.

Lest you think I'm crying in my Cabernet every night, let me reassure you that I'm not. I absolutely have my moments. Sometimes even my days. But for the most part, I feel blessed for the opportunity to rediscover myself. To reinvent the person I once was many years ago ... before kids ... before we moved overseas. I have the chance to do a lot of soul searching. Which takes time. A precious commodity that I am willing to spare.

As I reflect on these past six months, I realize that I would not be where I am without our family. Nor without the cohorts going through similar situations here and abroad, who I've been connected with via the State Department yahoo groups ... and through Facebook ... and blogging. Or without the friends, who have stuck it out while we've lived overseas, reaching out from near and far, making any effort to stay in touch ... while sometimes getting so little in return. And especially not without those who continue to help me in ways that may seem so minuscule, but are so endearing to me.

The cards, the notes, the emails, the texts, the phone calls ... they don't go unnoticed. And I appreciate them more than you'll ever know. I gush, therefore I am.

But the question still begs. As I sit here, looking forward to Matt's second R&R next week, I am able to make out a tiny little light at the end of the tunnel. Or is it much larger than I originally thought.

And I continue to wonder ... is the glass half empty or is it half full?

Sometimes There Just Aren't Any Words ...

2011-01-26T12:59:00.000-05:00

... but only because you can't stop laughing.

I opted NOT to post the one where he's wearing a tiara. He'll probably thank me later...